Rusty Gaillard Joins Us On The Steve Jobs Inspired Join Up Dots Podcast
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Introducing Rusty Gaillard
Rusty Gaillard is todays guest joining us on the Steve Jobs inspired Join Up Dots business podcast.
As a transformational coach & motivational speaker of Silicon Valley Dream builders todays guest helps men and women experience more freedom in their lives.
He left a 13+ year career at Apple in 2019 to focus full-time on helping others transform their life to one they love.
His passion for this work comes from his personal experience of transformation, including life changes he chose, and those he didn’t.
Starting with a voluntary demotion in 2010 to spend more time with his young son, a multi-year divorce, and launching a new career in 2018, he learned that how we react to life’s events matters more than the event itself.
How The Dots Joined Up For Rusty
He believes that each of us is far more powerful than any circumstances we find ourselves in.
By connecting with our gifts and strengths, we can grow in any experience and find abundance and freedom
As he says “As a former Worldwide Director of Finance at Apple, I lived the standard path of success: > top schools > promotions > pushing hard
But I kept daydreaming about being a mailman. That was my clue: I wanted more.
But I didn’t know what or how to do it until I found the solution.
And that is the perfect place to start todays episode of Join Up Dots.
So how did he finally realise that he had found the solution and take it from “a-ha” to a living?
And where do people go wrong, trying to start something with no back experience, or keeping their back experience all around them when trying something new?
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Mr Rusty Gaillard
During the show we discussed such weighty subjects with Rusty Gaillard such as:
Rusty shares the moment when he decided what he wanted to do with his life, and how it was right under his nose all time.
Rusty opens up about his time at Apple, and shares a couple of fascinating insights into the operational way of Steve Jobs.
Why the most important part of all businesses is learning the marketing that makes a business a success.
Why we should often slow down, walk away and take a deep breath before ploughing on again to make momentum.
How To Connect With Rusty Gaillard
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here– enjoy
Full Transcription Of Rusty Gaillard Interview
Life shouldn’t be hard life should be a fun filled adventure every day. So now start joining up dots happened to your talents, your skills, your God given gifts and tell your boss, you don’t deserve me. I’m out of here. It’s time for you to smash that alarm clock and start getting the dream business and life you will of course, are dreaming God. Let’s join your host, David Ralph from the back of his garden in the UK, or wherever he might be today with another jam packed episode of the number one hit podcast. Join Up Dots.
David Ralph 1.15
Good morning friends. Good morning. And thank you so much for being here with us on Join Up Dots as I keep on saying it’s a great day to be alive. It really is what today’s guest joining us on the show is a transformational coach and motivational speaker of Silicon Valley dream builders, and he helps men and women experience more freedom in their lives. Now he left a 13 plus year career at Apple in 2019. To focus full time on helping others transform their life to one my love his passion for this work comes from his personal experience of transformation, including life changes he chose and those he didn’t Isn’t that how life occurs. Now starting with a voluntary demotion in 2010, to spend more time with his young son a multi year divorce and launching a new Korea in 2018. He learned about how we react to life’s events matters more than the event itself. He believes that each of us is far more powerful that any circumstance we find ourselves in. By connecting with our gifts and strengths we can grow in any experience and find abundance and freedom. Now as he says as a former worldwide director of finance at Apple, I live the standard path for success top schools, promotions, pushing hard, but I kept daydreaming about being a mailman. That was my clue I wanted more. But I didn’t know what or how to do it until I found the solution. And that is the perfect place to start today’s episode of Join Up Dots. So how did he finally realise that he’d found the solution? And then take it from a heart? This is a so actually a living? And where do people go wrong? Trying to start something with no back experience? or keeping their back experience all around them when trying something new? is a good question. Well, let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Mr. Rusty Gaillard.
Rusty Gaillard [2:46]
Good morning, David. I am great. So happy to be with you here today.
David Ralph [2:49]
Hey, it’s lovely to have you. It’s lovely to have you. I’m gonna start straight with that question. Because as I was reading it, I thought so bloody good question. But maybe it doesn’t make sense. So let’s clarify it. Where do people go wrong, trying to start something with no back experience or keeping their back experience all around them when trying something new. What I mean by that is, I find so many people come and they try to start a business or an operation, but I’ve got kind of no training in. They haven’t lived there. But also I find people don’t separate themselves from their past to actually move into their future, they kind of anchor themselves into the past. What do you thing? Is it bad to have no back experience? Or is it bad to keep your back experience rooting you to where you are.
Rusty Gaillard [3:41]
The thing that I see mostly David with the people that I talk to is the second one. And it’s getting stuck in your back experience being just living from that so wholeheartedly and so fully that you never even opened your eyes to the possibility of something different. You know, most of us view the world through this lens of our experience our past experience. And that could become very limiting. It certainly was for me because I spent five years looking for a job that would feel more meaningful to me. And I was this is while I was working at Apple that you described. I thought about other companies. Maybe I go work at Google or work at Facebook, or maybe work at a startup I’ve worked in I live in Silicon Valley. So there’s lots of startups, I thought about consulting, but all of these things felt like more or less doing the same thing in a new environment. And if so, basically what I was doing is I was living from this old perspective, this old view of the world, which is this is the kind of person I am this is the kind of work I do and I couldn’t find anything meaningful. So I just see that that is really the challenge for people when they’re contemplating a change or they’re thinking about it. They’re so ingrained in their current way of thinking that they can’t see outside of that and see the possibility for something different. A strange I come from corporate land many years ago and it always
Unknown Speaker [5:00]
blew me away that somebody I worked in banks and I also worked in insurance. And they would moan about being insurance are don’t want to do this job anymore. I’m gonna move. I’ve got a new job, what are you doing? I’m working for another insurance company and I used to think why? why are you doing it, it’s gonna be vaguely the same, you’ve got to find the thing that ignites you. Now, of course, the problem is rusty, as you know. But sometimes the thing that ignites you is so us, we can’t see it for looking it’s it’s easier than breathing really is right under our nose. Was that with you as well, when you found your dream job? Did you kind of after you’re bedded into it a while think to yourself, oh, my God, I made it hard looking for five years, it was here all the time. That’s such a brilliant way of saying it, David, it’s so true. And that was exactly my experience. Because the, the idea came to me within a 20 minute talk that I was listening to. And this 20 minute talk was so meaningful to me, I remember exactly where I was, I can picture the room, I can picture the person speaking, I can just I can remember, I can see myself there in that moment. And it was in that moment that I found this thing that was right under my nose the whole time. But that’s the challenge for a lot of people is it’s we can’t see it, even though it’s right there. And that’s why it’s so helpful to have a structure a process, somebody outside on the outside who can help you find those things, because part of this is not being able to see it because you’re so close to it. The other part of it is being having the courage to acknowledge it, when you do see it. There’s a lot of us we see it, but we keep pushing it away, because we say oh, no, it can’t be that that’s so different from what I’ve done in the past, or, you know, who am I to do that kind of thing. So it’s both not seeing it. And then when we do see it, pushing it away, and that can be a challenge. It’s funny, I get a lot of people that say about their transformational coaches asked to come on the show. And most of them I say no, but the thing that I laughed out loud about with the pitch that I received from you was I kept daydreaming about being a mailman. Because I remember being in a very stressful position, being transfixed by people sitting in supermarkets, just beeping food through beep, beep, and I used to think what a wonderful job, you just beep it through. And when you walk away, it’s done. You don’t have to think about things left over the next day, I’ve been trays out trays or whatever you have, it was just that kind of almost mundane job that I could leave my brain behind. Now, with the mailman, was it the feeling of freedom? Or was it like me just doing a job that you could kind of just read and just allow it to flow?
Unknown Speaker [7:49]
It was both to be honest. But when I when you know, I also thought about being a supermarket check person. But by personality is I’m a a player, I’m a go getter. I’m the kind of person who wants to go full out and be the best at what I what I am doing. And so when I think about the supermarket, like there’s competition at that, it’s like, oh, I could be the fastest supermarket checker out there. Yeah. But when I think about the mailman, it’s for sure. Everything you described, and this applies to the supermarket as well is I finished my work at the end of the day, and I’m done. I’m free. And that had the such an appeal. To me, this ability to design my life to shape my life to make choices that I wanted. And work was be a small portion of it. It didn’t define me and it was something I could leave behind at the end of the day. So I just I had this real desire for freedom. And really what that spoke to was, in a way was escape. You know, I was wanting to escape this sense of drive and performance and competition and being the best person and just, I got really caught up in that. And it defined who I was. And you know, honestly, it’s still something I it’s live in my life today. It’s I ever present this thing of like, what why am I doing what I’m doing? Am I doing it to prove myself or to be the best? Or am I doing it because it’s meaningful to me. Fortunately, today, I’m doing work that is meaningful, and so I can I can really anchor back in that. But when I was in corporate world, it was the question that how meaningful is this in my life. And so I was really wanting to escape the the rat race, this sense of competition, trying to prove myself being the best I can and really was seeking freedom. And so, you know, mailman seemed really attractive. Now, back in the day, you had a boss who painless, famously would say, if I look in the mirror a few days on the trot and think, is this really what I’m doing today. When it was time to change Steve Jobs he would. He would be very focused on his personal inspiration as much as he sort of output and he’s sort of legendary status. I suppose.
Unknown Speaker [9:58]
He must have crossed your path more
Unknown Speaker [10:00]
Two times was the obvious, but this was somebody that was slightly different from the norm.
Unknown Speaker [10:07]
You know, I did not have the opportunity to work directly with Steve Jobs, you know, I did, we did cross paths here and there. But it was not somebody, he was not somebody that I had the opportunity to work with. But I too, have really appreciated
Unknown Speaker [10:21]
getting to know him a little bit posthumously. When I worked there, he was a bit of a legend. And, you know, the story was, he had people had written up in the elevator with him, and they did not have a very good answer to what do you do here at Apple, and they found themselves fired the next day. So that was the rumour mill that went around. So he was feared really within the company, because he certainly had a reputation of being very direct and very
Unknown Speaker [10:47]
harsh in some ways.
Unknown Speaker [10:49]
But at the same time, he said things like you just described, which is this, you know, look yourself in the mirror. And if after a few days, you find yourself, not looking forward to what you’re doing and not finding meaning in it, you really need to question that because life is short. So he had some very inspirational farsighted things to say.
Unknown Speaker [11:10]
But for some reason, for for me, at that point in my life, I was not really able to hear them. Because I was so caught up in this, you know, this race to be the best that I could to be the a player to succeed and the external sense of the word. So I said, what was it then, because this is fascinating this because you’re like an American version of me. Because I was on a career path that was kind of given to me, I didn’t ask for my first job. It was my mum basically got the job. And I went for it, because I didn’t know how to say I didn’t want to do it, and kind of got it. And that led me on to 2530 years really, of working in places that I was good at. And I thrived. And I went up a ladder. But it never naturally felt like a fit. I always felt like, yeah, tomorrow, I will leave, I will do something else. So when did you get to that position, that crossroads, when you actually thought now Hang on, hang on, I can’t keep on thinking this, something’s got to happen.
Unknown Speaker [12:15]
What First of all, I will say that the path that I chose, I did choose it, it was it was my choice. It was very much informed by my childhood. My mother stayed at home and raised the family and my dad went to work every day, he was very successful in a large corporation. And that was the model of success. So for me, it was totally natural that I went into the business world and climbed the corporate ladder, because that’s what I had seen all around me. And that’s what I came to understand a success. I’ve heard described a few times that you can think about the work you do in multiple ways. You can think about it just as a job, which is a transactional situation where you get paid for the work you do. You can think of it as a career, which is aspirational in terms of where you’re going, your what you’re doing now is positioning you for the next step. Or you can think of it as a calling, which is something that is meaningful and adding value to the world. For me, I thought about working at Apple was very inspirational. And Apple, I thought, you know, it resonated with that idea of a calling like, hey, there’s I’m really making a difference in the world here. And it was also a career because I very much expected to continue climbing the corporate ladder. It was that point when I decided, you know, I don’t really want my boss’s job. And I look around and I don’t see any other next level jobs that I want. This is, so the career aspiration really dried up for me. And what it did, I started to think well, how much impact really am I having at Apple? Yes, Apple is a great company and doing wonderful things in the world. But for me, if I didn’t show up at work the next day or ever again, would they really miss me? No, the company wouldn’t miss a beat. So it wasn’t a career that was driving me anymore. And I didn’t really resonate with this call again. So it started to feel more like a job. And that just felt like to me
Unknown Speaker [14:12]
a waste. I didn’t want to spend the next 15 years or 20 years of my life, going to work every day getting paid if we hadn’t paid well in a safe and stable job. But what really is the meaning of this? And when am I really investing this part of my life, my life energy, right that our work is a huge part of our life. And am I really investing it in something that is meaningful to me and I will look back on and say Boy, am I glad I put my time and energy into that. And when the answer was no, I knew I had to find something different, let’s say from Jim Carrey, and then we’ll be back with rusty. My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job and are
Unknown Speaker [15:00]
family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love. Now, you said something rusty that I want to dig into, we said, work is a huge proportion of our life. Now, I’m on a sort of a journey at the moment when I’m trying to not get work life balance, but get the right work, right, it doesn’t feel like work, it just becomes your life. It’s almost like a hobby. But you get paid for now with yourself, when you started to actually transition into being the entrepreneur that you are, how much of it was actually what you hoped for, and how much turned out to be bloody hard work.
Unknown Speaker [15:54]
I laugh it over here, David.
Unknown Speaker [15:57]
So the big picture for me of the work that I do is I absolutely love it. It’s exactly what I hoped for. And I and it’s wonderful. And the thing that I most value is the conversations that I have with people, I’ll tell you, when I first decided to do this work, my first thought wasn’t, I want to be a coach, my first thought was, I want to talk to people about life and what matters and how to have a good life. So it’s those conversations that I have with my clients. And with people that I meet that is are so rewarding for me, as you’re pointing out, there is a lot to running a business, beyond just the delivery of the particular service or the building of the product that you do. And so it’s all of the you know, it’s the finance, that’s the marketing, it’s all these different pieces. And those pieces have challenged me, I was a finance person at Apple, and I worked in supply chain, I was an engineer by training in college. So I was more of a left brain analytical kind of person. And now I’m doing right brain kind of work and learning, the marketing and all of those other things. And that is a huge challenge for me. And I wouldn’t say that I dislike it. But I would say it’s the part of my work that I have the most opportunity to grow and learn. And, you know, part of part of what I’ve come to appreciate in life is that the challenges in life are here not to make our life difficult. They’re here to give us an opportunity to grow and expand and learn. And if we can shift our perspective to say, Hey, this is here in my life, not to make me suffer, but to give me an opportunity to transcend it and grow as a person. I just think that is a much more empowering position. And so that’s how I approach those parts of my my work in my life that challenged me and I’ve come to appreciate the journey, because I’ve grown tremendously in the time that I’ve been doing this. A lot of people say to me, what should I learn first, and I always say marketing, learn marketing before anything else. That is the killer of all businesses. Then after that is probably cash flow and stuff. Now, women online business, I’m in an online environment, and you are as well, it from the outside looks like a cheap way in. But you can just get a website up, you can go to wix.com you’ve seen the adverts, you can do it in sort of 30 minutes in your app online. What was the biggest eye opener to you when you started running your business? And if you’re like most of us certain amount of crickets in the early days?
Unknown Speaker [18:25]
Yeah, for sure. And so I want to reinforce what you said is if you’re gonna pick one area to focus on to start its marketing,
Unknown Speaker [18:34]
you know, one of the things that I’ve come to appreciate is it’s the, it there’s no one element that is that makes all the difference from a marketing standpoint and building a business. So it’s not necessarily the website or the name of your company or any of those things, it’s none of those is going to really break make or break your company. It’s it’s to some extent, it’s how those all work together. But the underlying thing that connects them all, is you as the owner of your business, are you tapped into your passion? And are you communicating that effectively? And are you talking to people about something that matters. So it’s it’s finding that passion in yourself and digging deep enough to get clear on it, to be able to articulate it and to be able to share that with other people? Because that then will come through in your marketing and your website and everything else you do even your products and services but you’ve got to start with? Why am I doing this? What matters? Where’s my where’s my that the drive behind what it is that I’m bringing to this world? I’m gonna jump in there, Rusty, can you can you do that right at the beginning? Because I think that comes down the line where you you actually create a complete mess at the beginning.
Unknown Speaker [19:47]
You can’t have that amount of clarity about actually what you want in your life because you haven’t experienced it. For example, I had this dream of having so much free time. Oh, it’s gonna be brilliant. I never had a moment to breathe.
Unknown Speaker [20:00]
So I create all this free time. Actually, when I got it, I was bought out misko. And then I had to sort something out. So do you think you can actually do that right at the beginning? Or do you have to sort of find out what you don’t like, and then keep on chipping away chipping away until that beautiful sculpture appears?
Unknown Speaker [20:18]
Yeah, well, so I think it’s both Actually, I do believe you want to start with a direction, right and your case, it was free time. In my case, it was a build a private coaching business. And as you go through the process, you learn Absolutely, I think none of us is static. So it’s an even by the way, for most of us, when you set out a goal and you reach that goal, you might be satisfied with it for a period of time. But then you set the next goal. I’m sure you had that when you started to achieve your free time, for a few minutes, or a few days or weeks, you were pretty happy with it. But then you got bored. And you had to go on to the next thing. And I really think that’s true. It is absolutely an evolution and a process. But you always want to start and keep focused on what is it that you’re trying to achieve and what matters to you, I really believe that you’re starting a business, running a business, even doing a good job in your profession. If you work at a corporation, all of those things require energy. And if you’re not doing something that’s meaningful to you, it’s so hard to muster that energy. I’ve lived it out, I’ve experienced it. And I just I think it’s really important to have something that’s meaningful. And so that’s why I’m saying if you want to have that, even if it changes over time, right? Okay, I’m gonna throw this into the mix now. And I’ve mentioned this a billion times on the show. And yes, it sounds boring, but it’s very, very important as well. I gave so much energy into my business. But I didn’t focus in on reclaiming the energy back into my health and had acute burnout and almost died really
Unknown Speaker [21:50]
bad is something that most entrepreneurs battle against. But you sound like you sound like a young man just breezing through life like a twig on the mighty stream of life, there doesn’t seem to be any stress in your life at all. Has it always viewed you the business that you’re creating? Or have you had times like I did, where, literally, you start to sort of cave in because of the amount of things you’ve got to do.
Unknown Speaker [22:16]
I have not had that kind of physical constraint, or physical challenge. But I definitely have days where I’m not motivated. I think that’s normal. We all have those days. But I’m a real believer that the
Unknown Speaker [22:29]
how we approach things and our energy that we bring to the work that we do makes a difference. And we can push we can bring push energy, to anything we do. I’ve done that in my career before, you know, I’ve had little spurts where I do that in my business, but not for huge length of time, where we really push to get things done. Or we can change our energy about it. And often at times, it requires slowing down taking a deep breath. And walking away for a moment and walking outside to get you know, getting in nature slowing down and realising why it is that you’re doing what you’re doing, and shifting your energy a little bit. So you’re not pushing so hard to get something done. But you’re coming from this, again, back to this this sense of purpose or a reason. What is your why, what is your reason for why you’re doing this, and you’re doing it to achieve a goal to have an impact to recognise a personal aspiration. So reconnecting with those things, and coming from that energy rather than this. Like, I just got to push through this thing. And there’s two more hours, I’m gonna stay up until two in the morning to get it done. Yeah, that was me. That was me. Yeah. Well, it’s been all of us, right. And I think especially for high achieving people, we can fall into that trap, push, push, push, go harder, go faster. And it’s just important to realise why you’re doing this thing, shift some of that energy. And when you do that, you want to because all of us bring our best when we’re in a positive mindset. Nobody is their best self when they’re tired and angry and stressed, like nobody’s creative. When you’re in that place. Nobody’s as effective. So it’s, it’s it just makes common sense that if you can manage yourself and manage your mindset to be in this place of positivity and energy, and connection with your sense of purpose, you’re going to be more effective. I’m always fascinated by the fact that the entrepreneur journey is not what you think it’s going to be until you’re in it. I often reflect on times when I would think why the hell am I doing this, it would be easier to work for somebody else. But I also reflect big time on the fact that I could never work for someone else anymore. You know, once you’ve had that taste of freedom of going, I’ve had enough now I’m going to turn the computer off and go off and do something else. You just can’t go back and I watch a lot of TV programmes where I don’t hardly watch any but when I do and there’s an office, I always think to myself, I bet that person had to get there at eight o’clock because I had to write they
Unknown Speaker [25:00]
Can’t leave till six o’clock because I had to. And I just wonder how that’s possible anymore? The the freedom that you get rusty by dictating your own time? Is that something that you could ever lose now?
Unknown Speaker [25:14]
I don’t think so I think it’d be very challenging to go back and work for someone else. The, the freedom is so valuable. But one of the things that I think where people can get stuck as I think about their own life, right, so, you know, I’m sure you, perhaps there’s a listener who is has a corporate job. And here’s us talking about entrepreneurship and freedom, and saying, you know, gosh, I wish I had that it was like my equivalent of the mailman, right, I want to be a mailman because it’s got this sense of freedom to it.
Unknown Speaker [25:42]
But the, it’s important to recognise that, you know, we designed our life, and we make the choices that we, we are responsible for the result. So you can have an entrepreneur who is working late into the night and stressing themselves out and having physical impacts from that, which as you just described, you’ve been, you can have a person in a corporate job, who has a pretty good life and a lot of freedom and a lot of flexibility. So there’s no one path to achieve the kind of life that you want to have. And that’s so important to realise that you can figure out what’s important to you, and you can create that in your life.
Unknown Speaker [26:23]
Silicon Valley dream builders, okay, SV dream builders? Was that an obvious choice? Or was that something that come to you in a dream like the angels, splitting the clouds and men sending a ray of light down on you?
Unknown Speaker [26:41]
You know, I’ve always wanted a moment like that, David,
Unknown Speaker [26:45]
where I get that divine inspiration. I would not say that’s exactly where the name comes came from. But it was something that was inspired because you know, living in Silicon Valley, that part was obvious. But the dream builders is, you know, and this is something that I also learned from my mentor, whose name is Mary Morrissey. But she talks about dream building, which is, you know, a lot of people have a dream. But having a dream is one thing. But building a dream is a totally different thing.
Unknown Speaker [27:14]
And that’s fundamentally what my work is about. It’s about both pieces, you have to have a dream of what’s important to you, and what you want in your life. But you don’t just have the dream, you build it, you take the steps, you change your thinking, you change your mindset, you really position yourself so that you can have that in your life. And so I just loved that the combination of those two pieces, which is you know, this aspirational part of dreaming, plus the real hands on tangible part of building it in your life. Now, when you look at your website, living your best life, you split it into four areas, relationship, career, health, and freedom. Is there one that is more important than the other? Or are they all together? Because I flick up and down. And maybe it’s a journey I’ve been on? I think health health, first of all, first and foremost, as long as you’re healthy, everything else can sort of take care of itself. What’s your point of view on that?
Unknown Speaker [28:09]
Well, I think from a biological standpoint, yes. So you have to be healthy or nothing else matters.
Unknown Speaker [28:16]
But I really don’t believe that we have to make a trade off. I believe you can have all of those things. You can have health, you can have vibrant and deep relationships, you can have work that’s meaningful to you. And you can have a sense of freedom, both in your time and your money to do the kinds of things you want to do and be the person you want to be. I think it’s too many people believe that there’s a trade off required. And there’s not you can have, you can have all four of those things in your life. And in fact, when your something is missing, that tends to infect other parts of your life. I’m sure you’ve experienced this if you’re unhappy in your work, it impacts your relationships and impacts your health. It impacts your sense of freedom and your vibrancy and your excitement and energy for life. And same if you’re unhappy in a relationship and impacts other parts of your life. So, you know, we think about these our life as compartmentalise. But it’s really not the underlying emotional current of your satisfaction with your day to day experience of life is impacted by all of these things. And dissatisfaction in any one area can impact the rest. So my work is really holistic. Yes, you need to be healthy in order to enjoy life, of course. But I believe that you can have all of these things then they can work in concert.
Unknown Speaker [29:33]
I can’t remember how she was talking. Then I was thinking I can’t remember the last time I’ve actually been unhappy. And I remember certainly parts of my career where I was really unhappy and I used to walk home thinking oh my god, you know, another day, stomach also I’m on my way to a stomach ulcer. But now, it just seems to be something that is controllable. You realise that your life is a series of decisions about you
Unknown Speaker [30:00]
Mike personally, and I think that’s one of the issues that makes people unhappy. They feel like they don’t have a choice. They’re in a career, they’ve got a mortgage, they’ve got kids, they haven’t got a choice. But actually, if you drill down, we can, we can start making choices straight away, can’t wait that can really transform things. You’ve honed in on one of the things that I talk about in my coaching work, which is that we’re all of this work starts with any change in your life, anything that you want to make a change, or maintaining a change that you’ve already committed to. It all starts with something that’s pretty simple. And it’s making a decision.
Unknown Speaker [30:39]
You know, it’s so easy to say, well, this isn’t the right time for me, or the economy is no good. Or I’m stuck in this job because I have to pay my bills, and I can’t even consider something else, or I don’t have time or my kids are too young, or there’s so many reasons why it’s not the right time to make a change. But you’re pointing out that you are 100% responsible for your life. You can’t blame somebody else, and no one else is going to swoop in and fix your life for you. If there’s some part of your life that is not working for you, you have to acknowledge that and make a decision to change. Because once you decide to change it, you absolutely can. And where I hear you, David is you’re way further down in that journey. And you realise now, there’s, no, I’m not unhappy in my life, I am happy. And I can’t even remember when the last time I was unhappy, because you’ve now stepped into that full acceptance of responsibility for your life, and you make decisions and you take action to shape your life in the way that you want to. When I felt like Nirvana to a lot of people. Yeah, when I had a transformational shift, it wasn’t that long ago. But I suddenly started being interested in Taoism, Chinese principle, and it was something that I’ve been interested in for many, many years. And I kept on sort of reading it and then falling away. And then I started watching this video. And I thought this makes perfect sense. But you can’t fight against everything, you’ve got to allow things to just naturally pass you buy. And sometimes it might be the greatest opportunity in the world. But if you can’t pick it up, there’s no point you’re just adding more to the weight that you’re carrying. And it really did spin it on its head where as long as I’ve done a good day’s work, that’s all I can do. You know, and because of that, I sleep better, I feel better. I think my relationships are better. Because before then rusty, there was a time when I was never, in the moment. If I was sitting watching a TV show, I wasn’t really watching it, my mind was elsewhere, if I was having a conversation with my wife wasn’t really listening to what she was saying. And my mind was elsewhere. I think once I realised, but actually, you can only do what’s right for you. At that time, things just started flowing. And once they flow, you can’t go wrong.
Unknown Speaker [32:59]
Yeah, I think you’re, you’re tapping it. It’s obviously some ancient wisdom there. And a lot of these principles, whether it’s in Taoism, or Christianity, or Judaism, or any of these religious traditions, often, if you go deep enough, you find these same underlying principles. And and there’s an element there of what you said about being present and being going with the flow. And I really believe that, you know, as much as we tend to resist the things around us when something is in your life that you’re unhappy with, it can be easy to focus on it, to complain about it to be unhappy about it. But you’re really just pouring fuel on the fire, you’re really just giving energy into this thing up this part of your life that you don’t like. And this idea of non resistance, like stop resisting the things that aren’t working for you. They’re there, they may be uncomfortable, you may not like it, but if there’s nothing that you’re going to change about it, then you just have to, to be at peace with it. And be present in the moment, as you’re saying. So, like these ideas seem very hard to grasp. But it’s it is a practice. And as you practice them over time, as you said, things just start to get easier. And life feels easier. Which is it’s really this that’s the I think the the beauty and all of this is you know, yes. Haven’t you know, starting my own business and doing work that I love and all of that stuff is great. It doesn’t mean there’s no challenge in life, of course there is that we all have challenges in life. But how I handle those challenges is different. I have less resistance, I have less anxiety, and I’m able to go with the flow way more easily than I was even just a few years ago. And I look at that and I say Wow, what a blessing. So if we go back in time, one of the things that I’d like to ask guests on the show because it is a big stumbling block and we’ve touched on it earlier about marketing a business. But how did you get the first call
Unknown Speaker [35:00]
Right, because the first client is such a win. And more often than not, they’re not the right client. After a while you realise that actually, you were, you know, taking anyone and you should be more selective and whatever. But how did you get the first one to go? Yeah, okay, you’re the end for me, Rusty. Let’s do it.
Unknown Speaker [35:19]
I, there’s, there’s, it’s kind of a funny story. Because when I was leaving Apple, I was telling people, hey, I’m going off to start my own business, and I’m going to be a life coach.
Unknown Speaker [35:30]
And I can, so many of the people I talked to said, Oh, that’s phenomenal. You know, everybody needs a life coach, especially here in Silicon Valley. But the great irony of that is, none of those people was my first client. You know, they all said, Oh, this is so great. Everybody who’s a life coach, but at once, but not me, not for me. So my first client, actually, they’re, they’re two of my first clients came from one was just getting out there and hanging up my shingle and hosting a workshop.
Unknown Speaker [35:58]
So I told all my friends about it, I advertised and you know, I put it on Facebook, I put it on social media, I said, Hey, I’m hosting this workshop, it’s free, come and join. And one of the things that came out of that was my first client.
Unknown Speaker [36:10]
But the other thing that happened was, and this is back to what you were saying about kind of being in the flow of things, was the very first day. So let me back up for one second, that first client I got from the workshop came while I was still working at Apple. Later, I left apple and the very first day, that was a work day, it was a Monday morning, I would have been going to work that day at Apple. But it was the first time I wasn’t I was home. And I was honestly a little disoriented. I woke up that day at you know, what, man, I don’t have a boss, what do I do?
Unknown Speaker [36:42]
So I, I realised this and I decided, you know, I’m gonna go take a walk and just think about this, like, going for my walk, I realised, well, no wonder this is a little bit uncomfortable. Because it’s totally new. To me, it’s the first time in 25 years, I haven’t had a boss to tell me what to do. I haven’t worked for a big company. So I came back and I write, I decided, you know, I’m gonna just do a little social media post about this. And I posted on Facebook, and I was not a big user of LinkedIn at that time. But I decided, oh, what the heck, I’ll post this on LinkedIn. And I post on LinkedIn. And that was, you know, that post went viral, hundreds of 1000s of people saw it, hundreds and hundreds of comments and interactions. And somebody called me and said, Hey, I really respect what you do. And I’m looking for a coach, I’d love to talk to you. And I got a client.
Unknown Speaker [37:30]
So, you know, there’s two lessons in that for me. One is you got to take the action, go host the workshops, go take the steps, go put your name out there and see what happens. Because that led to one of my first clients, but one of my other first clients came, what I would call in one of these out of the blue moments, I didn’t, I wasn’t intentional about that I was just being open about my experience and what it’s like to leave a big company go start on your own and kind of the disorientation and being confused and not knowing how to get started and, and what came out of that was a lot of support, and another client. So that the, for me, it’s Do what you can do, and be open about it, because you never know what’s going to come your way. And that kind of feeling of being open to it is the key to everything I’ve been when we’re sitting here going, Oh my god, oh my god, I can’t pay the bills, I can’t do it. You shouldn’t really be thinking about that. You should be thinking about taking action, and making connections and, and getting out of your own way. There’s there’s that truth. But the more you think about, I haven’t got money, the more you haven’t got money. And the more you think that yes, I’ve got loads of money, and everything’s lovely. Generally things just once again, flow it flow to you is it is strange, it is strange. And I as I’m saying it with total belief. I also realise that a lot of people out there will go, what did he do? What an idiot because they haven’t got to that point where they can see, but actually, your actions start to create ripples. And those ripples when they hit the shore will start bouncing back to you. And it’s the ripples that make all the difference.
Unknown Speaker [39:14]
Yeah, I I’m a total believer in what you just said. And I see this all the time with my clients. I mean, just one story. I think it’s great as a client of mine who this was at the very early stages of the pandemic, and she had moved to a different state because she could work remotely and she wanted to move and so she was happy in her new home and wanted a job that was not going to expect her back at the office at any point. And within a week of getting clear about the kind of job that she wanted. She got a call from a recruiter with that job. Now she could you know, she couldn’t orchestrate that. But she got clear about what she wanted. And she started taking the steps that she could take and the world responded in this very out of the blue kind of fortuitous way and she got
Unknown Speaker [40:00]
A great job that she could take. And I see that kind of thing happen time and again. And so I hear you that a lot of people out there will say that sounds crazy, that’s like, That never happens to me. But when you as you were saying, David was when you put yourself in that place, and you focus more on what you want, rather than what you don’t want to focus on what you want, and take action, take some steps towards that. And when you do that, the ripples start to happen, and they bounce back. I make more money from things that happened probably five years ago when I do now. And it’s true. People come out of the woodwork. And I think, Oh, God, yeah, I spoke to you about five years ago. And now they’re kind of ready, you know.
Unknown Speaker [40:46]
That’s why it is all about people, isn’t it? Every business is about people, you’ve got to be willing to connect, you’ve got to be willing to build relationships. And I wasn’t a great one about that at the beginning. Now I do it all the time. I’m speaking to people all the time. And most of it is just like having a chat. But actually what it’s doing is once again, creating those ripples that will come back to you at the right time. Yeah. When I, when I used to work in big corporations, everybody said, Hey, the key to getting a job is your network, you got to be good at networking, you’ve got to have a network. And I, I felt horrible. I never was good at networking, I thought of myself as a failure, I wasn’t good at keeping in touch with people. And whenever I went to network with people always felt very transactional, like, I need to get something out of this. That’s why I’m doing it. And I have completely shifted my thinking around that as an entrepreneur. And somebody described it as not as networking, but going and looking for your next good friend. And who doesn’t want more good friends. And just that mindset shift. For me, it’s been very, it’s opened a lot of doors and been very liberating. And I really enjoy conversations and meeting people and getting to know them. And it’s just fun. And maybe that leads, as you said, five years down the road to a coaching relationship, and maybe not. But either way, it’s a positive interaction and something that I count as a positive in my life. We’ve spoken about him. So let’s hear his words, his Steve Jobs
Unknown Speaker [42:14]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards, 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [42:49]
Hugely powerful words. And I think what he says really is what we’ve been saying, but he does it so much better. Where you’ve got to trust, you’ve got to have a you’ve got to walk the path, and then look back and go, Oh, yeah, that’s how it occurred. So when you hear those words, did they still resonate with yourself, Rusty?
Rusty Gaillard [43:09]
Oh, absolutely. I think that he says it in just a few sentences so eloquently. And so brilliantly. It absolutely resonates with me. So you look back on your life, this is one of the classic Join Up Dots questions, is a big moment in your life where you think, yeah, look, looking back. That’s really when everything started moving in the direction I wanted. I didn’t know it at the time. But I can look back and say, that was my big moment. There is and we haven’t talked so much about this and this conversation. But it was actually something that was a very painful and challenging time for me, which was in the midst of a divorce for my wife at the time, and deciding to go for an extended retreat to just as a personal development exploration to see if there’s something that I could do differently to make our marriage work. And it was hard because I had to take time off of work. And I was walking away from family commitments and and just from an ego standpoint, it felt very hard. So you know, at the time, I felt like I was at the bottom of the bottom. But it was it was really one of those dots that in retrospect was a turning point. Because that led me to form relationships and start to have conversations about by life and with other people about their life that were deeper and richer than anything I had ever done before in my life. And that ultimately led me to want to do that as a profession, which led me to becoming a coach. But, you know, if you, if you rewind the clock, and you put me back in that position, I was miserable. I wasn’t thinking this is going to lead to something good. But as you ask the question, now, it’s pretty clear that that was the starting point of a journey that led to where I am today.
David Ralph [44:53]
Well, the whole podcast has been on a journey leading to this point, but we like to call it a sermon on the mind. When we’re going to send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young rusty, what age would you speak to? And what advice would you love to give him and we’re gonna find out, because I kind of play the music as I always do. And when it fades is your time to talk, this is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [45:23]
Here we go, with the first beat of the show.
Rusty Gaillard [45:33]
Man, I have a special message for a little younger version of rusty just out of college and beginning on this new path of life, there is a clear path that you can follow. And it’s the path of hard work and progression and advancement climbing the corporate ranks. And I know that that’s appealing because it’s safe, predictable, stable, familiar. But the spice of life comes from following your heart. And sometimes that means taking a risk. You know, I I, I remember back in the day when all of my high school friends went to Mexico for spring break. And I chose not to go. And I remember a time in business school when there were opportunities to go to Cuba and Argentina and all of these different places. And I chose not to go. Because I would there was something about those that felt a little risky. That wasn’t quite, it was feeling a little bit off the off the path. And I encourage the younger version of me and all of you to take the risk. When your heart calls you to something like that, when it’s interesting when it resonates wins. It’s there’s some degree of excitement. But there’s some degree of risk is to make a decision from the place of excitement. We all have these internal voices, you know, one part calling us forward and one part holding us back. It’s not that the part holding you back ever goes away. But you get a choice. And your choice is to either listen to that part that calls you forward, or to listen to the part that holds you back. And I encourage you to listen to that part that calls you forward. Listen to your heart, listen to what excites you what feels energising and makes you feel alive, because that is the experience of life. And that’s going to lead you into some new directions and down new paths that perhaps you didn’t anticipate. But it could lead you to whole level of satisfaction and happiness and fulfilment that is beyond what you could even picture and imagine for yourself right now. It’s absolutely available to you. And it starts with that decision. That decision to listen to the forward call of your heart rather than putting on the brakes and staying safe and safe, safe and stable.
David Ralph [48:05]
So rusty, for the people that have been listening today, what’s the number one best way that they can connect with you?
Rusty Gaillard [48:13]
I’ve got three opportunities. One is LinkedIn. I am I mentioned I was not very active on LinkedIn many years ago, but I am today I’m so I’d love to connect with people. They’re on LinkedIn, it’s rusty Gaillard. Second is my website. You mentioned Silicon Valley dream builders. That’s my website. Except it’s not all spelled out. It’s the S v dream builders calm. So s v stands for Silicon Valley, SV dream builders calm. And finally, you can also I have a new book that’s coming out. I’ve just finished the first draft. And so I’m in the editing phase. And so that release date will not be until June. But if you if you connect with me on LinkedIn, send me a message. You can also send me an email rusty at SB dream builders calm. I would love to offer your listeners a free version of my book when it’s released early this summer. Really, it’s an email or connect me on LinkedIn. And I’d be happy to offer you a free copy of the book. That would be lovely. Give us all something to read in the summer while we’re sitting in our gardens. Perfect. So rusty, thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining up those dots and please come back again when you’ve got more dots to join up because I do believe by joining up the dots and connecting our past it’s the best way to build our futures. Rusty, thank you so much. Thanks, David. It’s been great.
David Ralph [49:33]
Okay, so rusty from SV a dream. builders.com left a 13 plus year career at Apple and he’s found his fame right under his nose all the time. But it’s how you convert it into income, which is the main thing for everybody out there. Thank you so much for listening, as always come across for some free tools to help you get going on your entrepreneurial journey but now live from that.