Welcome to the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast interview with Sara Oblak Speicher
To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:
Introducing Sara Oblak Speicher
Today’s guest joining us on the show is Sara Oblak Speicher someone who is deeply connected to Join Up Dots.
Appearing on Join Up Dots back in November 2014, she literally was hanging onto give birth as we spoke.
Bringing a new addition into the family, that she called David or Dotty im sure. Perhaps not.
Raised by strong, hard-working, and independent women in a small medieval town of 20,000 in Slovenia (Europe), she loved spending time with my family, outdoors, and dreaming about travelling the world.
Basketball would become that ticket for her (she has been “on the road” and immersed in high-performance mindset since 12 years old).
Believing that anything is possible if one works hard, is committed, cares deeply, dares to make leaps of faith, and never quits… she went on to create everything she ever wished for.
By the age of 30, ticking of all those boxes:
How The Dots Joined Up For Sara
She first arrived in the United States from Slovenia not with a dream to make it on the corporate ladder, and rise to the top of the business world.
Instead she was recruited by an NCAA Division I basketball coach to bring her vast knowledge of basketball to the states, and so she left her home town of only 20,000 and landed in New York
Well that for many people would have been scary enough, but just imagine doing the same thing when you can’t really speak the language of the country you were aiming to flourish in.
Well this didn’t stop her at all, and in one season she led her team to one regular season title, first WNIT appearance and a conference championship game. Wow!!
And now she has taken that attitude of becoming a champion, and moved into the world of business where she helps other business owners realize their business goals and guide them to success as a virtual business manager and business consultant.
The Low Points Of The Journey
When postpartum depression and two trips to the ER due to burnout and anxiety almost brought her to her knees, it became the greatest gift, the beginning of the next chapter for her.
It led her to heal from within, and become relentless about finding a better, more soul-aligned and certainly a much more sustainable way to being.
Doing, creating, giving and sharing what she truly loved, what felt exciting, fulfilling and meaningful.
So how does she keep everything on an even keel when there are so many people wanting a bit of her time?
And can everyone create a business with such time liberation from the start, or do you have to learn from the mistakes to make it work?
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Sara Oblak Speicher.
During the show we talked about such weighty subjects with Sara Oblak Speicher such as:
Why as you go through your life “you can’t be who you aren’t in life” its your destiny to grab with two hands.
Why the world is so reluctant to take the simplest of actions in their own lives. They wait for others to make it happen.
We discuss the “pre-stories” that other people tell us becoming self-developing in our lives. Time for a rewrite.
Why if you keep on chasing the external stuff you end up in a word of burnout and exhaustion= Not good.
How To Connect With Sara Oblak Speicher
If you enjoyed this episode of Join Up Dots then why not listen to some of our favourite podcast episodes such as Niall Doherty, Lolly Daskal or the amazing Alfie Best
Or if you prefer just pop over to our podcast archive for thousands of amazing episodes to choose from.
Audio Transcription Of Sara Oblak Speicher
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK. David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:25]
Yes, good morning, everybody. Good morning. And I cause I’m still live at the back of the garden. Is there any other place I should be? Maybe I should do these things live. Maybe I should wander the world with my microphone, sticking it up the nose of unsuspecting victims. But no, this is how I do it. So live in the back back of the garden I am. And today’s guest is somebody who is deeply connected to Join Up Dots because She first appeared on the show back in November 2014. And she literally was hanging on to give birth. As we spoke there was still up there was buckets of water. There was probably plastic sheets. It was all around her now bringing a new addition into the family that she called David or Dottie I’m sure but based around us, maybe not. She went through all that and she carried on building her business. Now raised by strong, hardworking and independent women in a small mediaeval town of Slovenia, we have only 20,000 people in it. She loves spending time with her family, and she still does being outdoors and dreaming about travelling the world. Now, back in the day basketball will become that ticket for her and she has been on the road and immersed herself in high performance mindset. Since 12 years old, believing that anything is possible if one works hard, is committed, cares, deeply dares to make leaps of faith and never quits. And she went on to create everything she ever wished for. And by the age of 30, she had ticked all of those boxes. Now she first arrived in the United States from Slovenia not have a dream to make it on the corporate ladder, but of course, rise to the top of the past belt world. And she was recruited by the NCAA Division One basketball coach to bring her vast knowledge of basketball to the States. And so that’s what she did and and she left her hometown of only 10,000. I don’t know why now says 10,000. It was 20,000. At the beginning, they’re leaving in droves. Something’s happening there. And she landed in New York well, that for many people would have been scary enough. But just imagine doing the same thing when you can’t really speak the language of the country you are aiming to flourish in. Well, this didn’t stop her at all. And in one season, she led the team to one regular season title, the first w nit appearance and a conference championship game well, and now she’s taken the attitude of becoming a champion and moved into the world of business where she helps other business owners realise their business goals and guide them to success as virtual business manager and business consultant, backcourt. things move on. And when postpartum depression and two trips to the ER due to burnout and anxiety, almost bought her to her knees, it became the greatest gift, the beginning of the next chapter for her a letter to heal from within and become relentless about finding a better, more so aligned, and certainly a much more sustainable way to being doing creating, giving and sharing what she truly love. What felt exciting, fulfilling and meaningful. So how does she keep everything on an even keel? When there’s so many people wanting a bit of a time? And can everyone create a business with such time liberation from the start? Or do you have to learn from the mistakes you make to actually make it work? Well, let’s find out as we bring on to the show, to start joining up even more dots with the one and only Sara Oblak Speicher. Good morning, Sara. How are you?
Sara Oblak Speicher [3:47]
Awesome. David, thank you so much for having me. And wow, what a introduction.
David Ralph [3:52]
It’s good to be here with me. I tell you what you want to be anywhere else spend on Join Up Dots. And can I ask? Did you name your child baby? Did you name it Dotty? Did you name it anything connected with me?
Sara Oblak Speicher [4:04]
Ah, gosh, no. traditional family name. So her name is Francesca a
David Ralph [4:13]
beautiful name and a beautiful child I imagine.
Sara Oblak Speicher [4:16]
Thank you. Thank you very energetic. She’s definitely my firecracker and a great teacher for myself and a growth partner so to speak.
David Ralph [4:25]
So So what’s happening with this mediaeval town, why did it start off with 20,000 people and then halfway through to page end up on 10,000? Was that a typo? Or if I discovered something that’s happening in Slovenia,
Sara Oblak Speicher [4:38]
I’m, it must have been a typo them. And thank you for bringing this up. I will look where that information came from. But now it was around 20,000. It has actually grown since then. I was just there a few weeks ago, actually. And I always love this feeling when you fly over when you land and you drive through and you see the cat on the hill. And now with me, directly roof stops at the outs in the background. I’m so much. And has it grown?
David Ralph [5:11]
Because people have moved into the area. Oh, are you doing sexy business behind doors? Is it? Is it? Is it a lot of babies being produced there?
Sara Oblak Speicher [5:22]
David Ralph [5:26]
Yes. And yes, when we’re move on, because that’s not what this shows all about. So So let’s look at your life, because he has dramatically changed since the last time you was here. I was looking at your corporate website. And first time I looked at it, it was a corporate website. But now it’s far more personal, almost spiritual. It’s about connecting with yourself. What’s this something that naturally occurred? And do you look back on the previous version of yourself? I think Well, actually, that wasn’t quite me really looking back on?
Sara Oblak Speicher [6:01]
That’s a fantastic question.
I would say that in either way, it was a version of me that either at the end, you know, as you go through life, you cannot become something you’re not. But a version, it’s already within you and you just a few which one you’re focusing on. As for me, it’s interesting that you mentioned the two contrasting differences, because I remember when I first started out, I was trained by business owners who work with GoPros. And it was a very polished language, you know, you never said it in jokes, it was all very uptight. And you’re very polite to your clients and with everybody else. And I remember having these conversations with my clients who already were several steps ahead of me. And they were very spiritual. And we’d be talking about launching a programme and I’ll get an email from them says, all my gosh, you know, it’s a new moon right now. And I have to disclaim saying that we have the dates and I’m like, sitting there like, excuse me.
David Ralph [7:12]
Sara Oblak Speicher [7:14]
But it was
David Ralph [7:17]
really heavy people with big teeth.
Sara Oblak Speicher [7:20]
No, they’re not.
But it was so amazing to me how in tune with themselves they were they sell the energy, right? When there’s times in month, when you have more energy and you’re more productive in their size me I feel honoured yourself in different ways and take some time off and go within. And to me, all of that was just like, wow, what is happening? Because the way I was brought up and through my athletic training, it’s like, it doesn’t matter what time of day it is. You do it, don’t you? Yeah, exactly. And you push through, you push through your physical pain through emotional pain. And that in itself. Still, sometimes I feel those hooks pulling me back, which is a great thing, because I get things done. But on the other hand, it’s a very sophisticated way of burning out, you know, and not honouring yourself and listening to yourself and following somebody else’s definition of success. And then one time you wake up in the morning is like, what am I doing? who live living, I’m doing all of those things, I have to cut off all the boxes like I feel so empty, why do you feel so unfulfilled, or even anxious?
David Ralph [8:40]
And then do you think because through Join Up Dots we have, we’ve moved certain parts of it. I’ve stayed true to it. And as she was saying, people used to say to me, you can’t have jokes on the business show, you can’t do silly things in a business show. That’s not what people want. And I used to think, well, that’s what I want. So that’s what I’m going to do. And I used to just ignore, I’m totally, and I’m really glad I did. Because I don’t think I could have kept being who I wasn’t every single episode, I think that would have just exhausted me and sort of being a duality person. But one of the things that we’ve discovered so and you being an expert in burnout, and everything is we’ve now got five kind of key elements to Join Up Dots. And when it started, business and money was front and centre, that that was the thing. And I went through a huge burnout session. And then I went for a second burnout session. And I’d realised now that time, and health and mindset are more important than business and money. And if you haven’t got the time, your health suffers. And when your mindset suffers, and then you don’t make the business or money either. So it is true, isn’t it, but it’s hard for people to see when the hustle muscle is being shouted across the world. And, you know, you’ve got to get up early every day, anybody else and you’ve got to go to bed and you’ve got to push through the pain. I now say to people switch on Netflix and just, you know, sit and watch a couple of films for the afternoon or whatever, because you’ll feel so much better afterwards.
Sara Oblak Speicher [10:14]
Absolutely, you’re absolutely right. I do believe in your product. probably tired of people too. There are some people who, at the age of 15, they know exactly what they’re going to do. And they do it until the day they die. And they’re perfectly happy with that. I don’t think you and I are one of those people. And I don’t think your listeners would subscribe to that.
David Ralph [10:38]
People because I knew what I wanted to be when I was two I I came out of my mom’s womb looked around and I was already on the path. And I think you will and you shouldn’t be I don’t think you should be.
Sara Oblak Speicher [10:53]
Yeah, you know, we all have our different journeys, we all have different lessons to learn and guests.
But with the way you know, most of us, I guess,
operate so to speak, it can be exciting not knowing what’s around the corner. And it can be frustrating, isn’t it? You get there, you’re just about to eat it, you can feel it, you can smell it, you can taste it. And there it goes, the finish line moves again and like, all right, okay, let me get going.
David Ralph [11:29]
And the trouble is, a lot of it turns out to be crap. And so you don’t want to be tasting it and you don’t want to be smelling it over here. So really want to sort of keep a distance to it until it’s right. And then you want to dive in. Did you not find with your business, you work on something and you work on something, you think it’s gonna be amazing, it’s gonna be brilliant. And then you look back on anything. That was rubbish. That was really, really rubbish. And it was so wrong for what I should have been doing.
Sara Oblak Speicher [11:57]
You know, I can think of them experience this sorry, maybe it’s just my way of seeing it. That there’s no such thing as failure or
David Ralph [12:07]
no such thing as failure but rubbish. There’s certain that the quality wasn’t as good. It was just
Sara Oblak Speicher [12:14]
see, when you’re just getting started. You’re learning you’re going through the phases, you do your best that you can at a time. Or maybe Yeah, you know, my old marketing materials. When I look back my first logo, my first business card. Yeah, I guess you’re right.
David Ralph [12:31]
Say and I’ll tell you why that is. Because having a woman say to me, you’re right. So rarely happens.
Unknown Speaker [12:41]
David Ralph [12:44]
to show every show, I’m gonna have a woman’s voice saying yes, David, you are right. I can rest I can be I can be happy. So so let’s, let’s talk about what you’re doing now. Okay, because it really strikes. I see so many businesses, okay, because I look at so many guests coming along. And many of them I hate, I look at it, and it’s so impersonal. But yours is all about winning the inner game yours is about connecting with yourself. When did you start to get that? When did you start to realise that actually, as trite as it sounds, you when you in the game you when you out again?
Sara Oblak Speicher [13:29]
Well, as an athlete, I don’t think you have any other choice if you want to sustain that level. But I don’t remember that actually being explicitly said, or if we will have a sit down meeting with a psychologist and let’s say, even a coach, mindset coach, and will you work on that? It was just something that I developed as we went looking back now I’m like, ooh, interesting. Somebody does after that second burnout episode, that sounds like there’s got to be a better way. Let me see what I’m doing is naturally already. Now let me take it apart and dissect it. Let me study it. Let me get into the depths of it behind it to understand how things work and why they will play, how we respond, why we respond in a certain way. And it was just fascinating as my own healing programme was like, wow, this is something that the world needs. And the more that I was bringing that in, in my own work with my clients, which full transparency, I used to freak out when they want to talk about their personal life, was it Nope, no, no, I’m here for your business consultant, this is my job. I knew we’re not going there. But it’s whether your corporate or a business owner or whatever it is that you do, there is always this overflow, there’s always the dance between the business and the personal and the professional because you don’t just turn off and on the switch, you know, at one point it comes out. And then as I went through this journey for myself, I started to notice that when I was there for my clients, and when we tapped into their personal we tapped into their mindset, they really got the exponential results.
It was almost like reinventing the water. You know, water is strange.
David Ralph [15:30]
Oh, that you you actually thought that was interesting. You know, because that was so different from where you were? Was that always sort of suppressed? Do you think that that was naturally you and then once you started delving into it you following on? There’s a different way to what I’ve seen?
Sara Oblak Speicher [15:46]
I guess so I remember when I was 16. My mom used to be a session with astrology expert. So he created my, you know, the position of the stars and predicted my future, so to speak. Oh, that’s cute. You know, you’ve never thought twice about it and never ride a horse horse go course guess. But he was so fascinating what he was predicting. And actually, Thursday, pretty much everything has come true. So it’s a little freaky. But on the other hand is like, Oh, I wonder what else is out there that I’m not aware of. And I just allow myself to follow this natural curiosity. And luckily, with the online world, now, we are not just confined to the 20,000 people that are surrounding us in our little town in caught in this bubble, but you literally have access to people on the other side of the planet. 24 seven, there’s resources out there. There’s video, there’s audios, there’s courses, there’s trainings, there’s pretty much anything that you can possibly imagine from the people who are going through the same thing as you are even though it’s all you know, I must be going crazy. I must be hearing voices in my head. I’m pretty much the only one who’s going through this. And then you look around, oh, no, I’m not. And there’s people who already have walked the journey and now are reaching back offering their hand to help you. It’s an amazing time to be in. Because if you’re resourceful, you can always find something for yourself that helps. And you can find that space for you. It doesn’t have to be like a niche. But I think as long as you follow your heart and you be yourself and you give yourself permission to joke, even on a busy business podcast, you bring your own flavour to it. There’s always going to be people around it, who resonate with it, who look up to it, because I can do this is for me, I want more of that.
David Ralph [17:56]
But I’m going to play some words now then we’re going to down thank you to a big question. It’s a profound question. And I’m going to direct it at you. So here’s Oprah,
Oprah Winfrey [18:06]
the way through the challenge is to get still and ask yourself, what is the next right move, not think about, Oh, I got all of this stuff. What is the next right move. And then from that space, make the next right move, and the next right move, and not to be overwhelmed by it. Because you know, your life is bigger than that one moment, you know, you’re not defined by what somebody says, is a failure for you. Because failure is just there to point you in a different direction.
David Ralph [18:38]
Now, one of the things I’ve discovered over the last year or so is how little action people take even when you you try to help them. And I’ll give you an example, I worked out. But over the last three months, this was a little while back, I spoke to 100 people, basically an hour’s time where people would email me and say I’m so stuck, I really want to do this, I really want to do that. And so I would spend an hour with them coaching. And not one person has ever reached back to me, or one person has actually shown me that they’ve moved on. But then I get the same email back about another three months later. So David, you know, I know what you said was right, but I still haven’t done it. I still haven’t done it. And so what I’ve had to do is actually say to people, you know, I will talk to you and I will help you. But then if you don’t evidence that you’ve done anything with it, when you’re not connecting with me again, I started to go down to a black hole of inactivity that was was getting me down and depressing and thinking, am I a failure? Do you see that as well that people are screaming out for help, but then they don’t do the barest have anything to actually help themselves?
Sara Oblak Speicher [19:59]
In love this question, I’m gonna geek out on it.
David Ralph [20:03]
Man, I can go out and mow the lawn. And I come back.
Sara Oblak Speicher [20:06]
There we go. There we go. First and foremost, isn’t Oprah wise woman? I mean, what she says here that you focus on the next right, move the next right move. Absolutely true. And in a context that you mentioned, you know, when people reach up, and they want help, and you want to help them, and then at the end, it turns out, you want it more than they do. I been there myself, I’ve been on both ends, I’ve been the one who wanted support who wanted the resources, I just was not ready to hear it. I was not available to hear it. It did not quite resonate at the time. And there are numerous instances when the years went by and something happened. I was like, Oh, that’s what that was, Oh, no, it makes sense. On the other hand, I’m seeing it also with people around me, especially those who are service based, heart centred, who want to help with the healing who have those natural gifts, and they feel called to really help everybody around. And as you mentioned, you know, you go down that the rabbit hole trying to help somebody who’s not ready. And then you question your own ability to help you question your own ability, and capability and expertise because you’re not seeing the results. And here’s the downward spiral, because you’re working with the wrong people, you’re not getting the results, you start doubting yourself, you started discounting your services, you’re attracting more wrong people. And it’s just a cycle that never ends. And in the meantime, people like what the heck happened. I feel called I know, in my gut that I can do so much more. And it requires this leap. so to speak, when your life no more Come on the available to those who are available for themselves, those who have skin in the game. Because at the end of the day, we all go back to what’s comfortable, even if it’s painful as hell, the old way of thinking the old habits, the old processes, the old beliefs, you know, that can be as painful as it gets. But it’s, it’s known to the mind. So that’s what we’re going to keep repeating. And then there’s this pattern interrupt, usually some traumatic experience when people wake up with Oh, shoot, I really need to change that.
David Ralph [22:43]
Because he’s syndrome. Have you ever had a Stockholm Syndrome? where people are taken kidnapped? And they’re, you know, have a horrible situation? And then when they come out where you go? No, it wasn’t so bad. You know, I actually liked being where you think, no, you just kind of got a climate eyes to it. And I think the world is in Jobs. We have Stockholm Syndrome, where they’re justifying the reasons that they go there all the time. But actually, it’s not good. It’s just not good. My wife keeps getting involved in crappy jobs. And we don’t need the money. You don’t have to do it. But she just can’t say no. And because she kind of started doing crappy jobs. Other people are contacting her and saying, Oh, we see you do that crap. Will you help us with our crap? And when she can’t say no, and she’s doing that, and it’s just like, terrible. She can’t break free from it, even though she goes to bed with the host of Join Up Dots every night. And I can give her some motivation. I tell you, she she won’t she won’t break free from me.
Sara Oblak Speicher [23:46]
No, no, it’s, you know, it’s very common, because it’s pretty much the same situation that I have with my husband. working super hard, passionate about the work he does, but stressed out this help, you know, with the kind of responsibilities on these wireless phone these 24 seven. Because this is what we were taught, especially women and they can in a way I don’t know your wife. But I would assume that some of the storeys just like Oprah saying, you know, what’s the next right move? What’s the next right you, if you see it through a pink, the glass, the next right move, it can be something that’s still within your comfort zone. But when you have somebody when you’re available to peel back the layers to connect the lines or take off the pink glasses and put on the clear ones. You can see beyond that. And the right move can now be beyond the comfort zone, and the mind will be freaking out because like oh no, that’s not what we were told to do. That’s not what we were trained to do. That’s not what we know, we were told that we are our own results, we are told that we need to work super hard to prove ourselves. And then you go down this rabbit hole of spinning in the cycle of chasing after something externally that can only come from within. And in chasing it you’re creating this is exhaustion and overwhelm and it’s draining you and the depleting energy, you just attract more of that. It’s like magnetic field, right? When you vibrate in certain frequency, this is what you attract. Yeah. And then over the frequency, the more crap is attracted to you so to speak.
David Ralph [25:36]
The higher the frequency, sometimes people just think you’re made. I’ve noticed that myself that I can be in a real high state of vibration and frequency feeling amazing. feeling great. And people kind of go Whoa, hang on. That’s too much. That’s too much for me.
Sara Oblak Speicher [25:54]
Yeah. And they just then it’s, it’s less like, Okay, great. I’ll stay here because it feels good to me. Where it’s like, oh, yeah, I really can send out so let me Tony down with me. compartmentalising myself, again, let me click my own wings and squeeze myself back in the box and put the labels on so that people can understand who I am, what I do, where I come from, so that I look like everybody else. It can be you know, a quite thin line that we walk on. And our natural inclination is to really want to belong, we want to be like, we want to be understood, we want to be supported. So we go and keep sabotaging yourself just because we want to fit in. And that’s where it’s so important than you probably really sure you’ve had those conversations before, even with your upline guests, you choose your own circles, if something doesn’t fit anymore, if something feels confining, then go and find different circles where you can be this extensive being when you can continuously grow and evolve and you pick people around you. And you make decisions based on where you want to be not where you are.
David Ralph [27:10]
Now let’s talk about this because this is prime for me at the moment, because I have realised that I have been dragging around a lot of people, then I’ve outgrown. And I’ve realised that over the last week or so actually. And I was in a pub last night with my wife and we’re just having a meal. And I said to her, you know, these people that I’ve known for years, it’s time for me to cut them free. And she said, Yeah, but you don’t have any friends. And I said, Well, they’re not my friends anyway. And she said, Well, bye Oh. And we had this big discussion about what actually is a friend. And I said to her, I know two or three people that when I meet them, I feel better after being in their company. Yeah, I feel energised, I come back, and I kind of go and really enjoyed that I feel good, I feel excellent. But the majority of people that I know, over my life, they just kind of suck the energy out of me. And I come back feeling in a worse state when I was when I met them. And I said, Well, they’re not friends. And she was saying, well, they are friends, because you’ve known them for years. And I would say Well, that doesn’t mean they’re friends. What is your point?
Sara Oblak Speicher [28:21]
I’ve been there, I’ve been married. So here you I even had a couple of relationships that have ended because of that. And I had my husband, I had a couple of my friends saying but you’ve been friends, you know, you’ve known each other for so long. You’ve been through so much like, yeah, I get it. And I honour this journey. And I’m honoured to say that they were on the walk this park together, but anything to speak ends. And I will get to them directly and say I’m sorry, I cannot be defined that you need I cannot be different or to expect and you deserve this point. So you know, let’s move my life you go on with living yours. Leave our paths cross again. It would be great. If not, thank you so much. I will forever cherish and honour and love you. He won’t be great.
David Ralph [29:12]
It wouldn’t be great. I don’t want any ever know, I don’t want any crossing apart. Thank you very much. If I’ve decided to move on farewell to you, you know, we’ve all been out with people that we thought were great. And then we decided they were meant to. And it’s quite hard to actually get away from them. So I don’t want to cross paths with mental scale friends and stuff just because,
Sara Oblak Speicher [29:35]
Unknown Speaker [29:39]
Sara Oblak Speicher [29:43]
you know, maybe they have their own wake up moment, come to the Jesus moment. And some people would say, and maybe they grow and evolve and take off their masks and tear down the walls and become really who they were meant to be. And maybe there’s this compatibility later on. Who knows?
David Ralph [30:01]
Okay, so you’ve spiny on its head. I was thinking back, they were mental and they’re going to stay mental. But what you’re saying is, they might have changed, we all change. We all move on. Yeah. So now do I want to reconnect with these people? Or do I don’t want to see them? I’m confused. I have clarity, clarity. And now I’m all confused.
Sara Oblak Speicher [30:28]
Thank you very much. My reviews? No, you know, in all seriousness, I think at the end of the day, just like you had this conversation with your wife, and she’s like, I don’t know what you’re talking about. They are friends. And no, I don’t feel it. I think at the end of the day, we have to honour this gut feeling that to 99% of people, it’s not going to make any sense. But it’s our job. If we are committed to our growth and evolution and liberation, so to speak, that we can this inner voice in music is a North Star. And we are just content with ourselves, even when everybody else leaves our lives, knowing that this is just a temporary thing. And I think I just posted something yesterday. Let me see if I can find it.
It goes to say that
I’m looking for the quote here because I think it’s perfect timing. Don’t be afraid of the solitude it comes from raising your standards as profound, isn’t it? A Billy Davis, I believe was the one
David Ralph [31:39]
of you You should have told you what to believe.
Sara Oblak Speicher [31:44]
Don’t be afraid of the solitude that comes from raising your standards. And we are oftentimes afraid what are people going to think are we going to hurt somebody and mid the end we are only hurting ourselves. And sooner or later, you know, you can betray your body you push it to the limits, then you start betraying your mind at the end is going to be your soul who’s going to squeeze you the corner grab you by your throat and like a listen, pay attention. Bernie brown just shared a beautiful essay about the midlife crisis and how she went into the fighting with the universe. It was such a fascinating read has like oh my gosh, she’s spying on me. And there’s like a 10 year gap where the storeys were supposed to take place in her life and with my age, but it was just the same thing like you’re fighting, you’re fighting you’re fighting, you’re trying to convince yourself of something well, your soul already knows. And the harder you make, the greater the prices that you’re going to pay. Because the the end, the lesson that you’re meant to learn the journey are meant to travel, you’re going to travel, it’s whether it’s this lifetime or the next lifetime.
David Ralph [32:56]
It’s really hard is I know exactly what you’re saying here. Because by raising your There comes a time, when I first started Join Up Dots. And I mentioned this many, many times, I was so embarrassed to tell anybody in my previous life, what I was thinking about doing, because it was just so different. And then when I started it, it was a very diluted version of what I’ve become now I feel totally in my power. But then my wife occasionally listens. And she says, I don’t like it, it doesn’t sound like you. And I go Yeah, but it’s it’s a different kind of version of me. And I think all these different versions and elements of our personality had the perfect place. But you’ve got to leave behind the people that want to keep you as you are, you have to grow, don’t you have to move forward, you have to experience it. But that business of pushing yourself forward into that reinvention of yourself,
Unknown Speaker [33:55]
it’s really hard, I
David Ralph [33:56]
find it The hardest thing to do to become a somebody different, but I knows the right version of myself, but is going to alienate some people is going to leave people behind. And for a while, it’s not going to be naturally me, it’s somebody I’m trying to grow into.
Sara Oblak Speicher [34:17]
Well, what if you say it in a way that you’re actually on learning things, it’s no longer belong, that you’re going to the fires so they burn off so that the farther that you get, the more true to yourself, your you know, the version of yourself you’re born is before the world got their hands on you to mould you to sculpt you to put all the storeys in your head to teach you about the values that you’re supposed to live by to pass on the definitions of those values that you turn around now and you’re like, oh, that doesn’t define me anymore. That does work for me anymore. Not be redefined those and of course, those closest to us. They want to keep us comfortable. They want to keep us safe. And just going out on your own. Like you announced that you found the job. Yeah, amazing. You and as you started a business quiet, yeah, crazy. Yeah, you know, that’s like even more important as we were talking about it earlier to surround yourself with those people who have been there, you know, who will turn around and offer you their hand to pull you up? Who are in this expensive and growth energy with the growth mindset as opposed to the fixed mindset. And it’s so nice to set those boundaries energetically. For example, my husband, I don’t always see eye to eye, especially when it comes to financial decisions. But I have learned instead of freaking out like I used to, like, No, I’m not available for that energy anymore.
David Ralph [35:52]
So are you to spend doing has to sell you bow is it the other way around?
Sara Oblak Speicher [35:56]
Um, you could have, you can have a you can say an investor you can have, say, a risk taker.
David Ralph [36:04]
Yeah, but somebody, somebody keeps them, he gives it to somebody else are you somebody asked the money to somebody else.
Sara Oblak Speicher [36:12]
Um, you know, it’s so interesting, I was growing up in my parents when we literally had nothing. And when they started their own businesses, one of the things that they said was, you know, you invest in, you know, it’s going to be a return on that investment for years to come. And at those moments, it was investing in their vision. And I witnessed that all the sudden, the money just appeared, you know, we didn’t have it for my new roller skates, but all of a sudden, we had it for new equipment, jobs. But in the coaching industry now, for a long time, I was like, No, I can’t do this, I can do this, it could definitely. Now if I were to open a brick and mortar store, I’d have to pull them out have to finance the equipment have to pay this rank, and I’ll have to pay the employees. Here, the investing that I do is investing in myself. Because I am the person who then turns around, grows, the business helps others, the more that I expand and grow, the greater the playing field in which my clients can play awesome.
David Ralph [37:20]
Kind of moans about you spending X amount of thousands on development and coaching.
Sara Oblak Speicher [37:25]
It’s pretty unsettling when you’re not used to seeing those numbers when you’re not used to the fact that hey, you can turn around and it’s one client and everything comes in. Yeah, it comes back. But you know, to go back to this energetic boundaries, I had to learn for myself. And it doesn’t necessarily mean me packing my bags and walking out. But it’s energetically not being available for surgeries holding space. for higher standards for higher energy and allowing the other person to grow into it. They choose to
David Ralph [38:02]
buy with yourself, and you’re looking at your prices on your website. But a lot of people, they would look at that, and they would go, I’m gonna quote it. It’s on your website. It’s public. Tonight. 10 grand VIP days now, most people in America probably earn 40 grand a year max. So you could earn what by in four days, say okay, you got a 15 week 915 grand nine week coaching programme. So you’ve only got to do three of those. And then you’ve covered where
Sara Oblak Speicher [38:35]
he was actually, actually that is a result of my client got in that client lives in London. And they collect cash payments for that programme.
David Ralph [38:47]
Right, brilliant. Okay, so you’ve got all these kind of different packages? How can your husband not look at those and think, okay, if my wife develops ourselves, so that we can get to move I was in coaching time. Surely that’s that’s the payback isn’t it.
Sara Oblak Speicher [39:05]
And he’s done an amazing job. We got there because you know, for some time, you know, we spoke four and a half years ago, and my business is very different. And then I went through a period of literally burning it down to the ground. As I was reinventing myself, my business was transitioning as well. And there was a period of time when I’m like, I forgot to say my own life, I don’t know where the next line is going to come from. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know if I’m going to have enough to pay all this and pay off debt. And he had to bail me out several times. And it was a blow to me though, because I remember to this day, the moment I graduated from MBA degree, I turned to him and I was super, you know, ego super proud. I was like, No, I’m going to get you the Beamer. Well, we invested way more than the Beamer would have been you about it now. But at the time, it was soul crushing, because I was raised to believe that I am my results that I am only worth as much as the money that I bring in. And that was one of the lessons that I had to learn. When that was taken away from me by the universe, I guess seems some way to look at it. I had to learn I am so much more than the numbers on the scale thing on the scoreboard. But with that said, I kept investing in people at the level that I wanted to be able to turn around and have somebody else invest in themselves through working with me. So that it was not just the I guess, in a way was the integrity piece. And I’m not saying that you can only you know, charge $10,000 for VIP days wants to pay $10,000 for VIP days. It’s not what I’m saying. But what I’m saying is that that creating this transformation, emotional maturity, when you are willing to bet on yourself at that level, when you go through all these self doubts, and you know, the voices on your shoulders who are telling you how crazy you are, that’s not going to work and you’re scared, and it’s uncertain and people around you. Like, what are you doing? You’re crazy, you’re insane. Who does that? You know, what do you like, you know what, I have this vision, I see people, I have people in my circles, who support me who hold space for me, who push me beyond my limits so that I can grow and expand beyond that. And with that, as you grow and expand chances are the what the right people who are meant to be on your path are going to grow with you, the ones who are not, they’re going to leave or you say sorry, doesn’t work anymore, you set your own boundaries, and you enforce them. And even for the clients. And I went through the phases, as we were talking earlier, when you work with the wrong people, and you don’t get the results. And you start doubting yourself and you keep discounting things. And I kept discounting and I kept discounting and I kept discounting and I did all this amazing work for them. They got amazing results on paper.
They never came back.
And by the time I get paid, and I paid my own stuff, there was nothing to show for it was like whoa, the definition of insanity in the fast lane to burn out. So what is the other option was the other opportunity? So let me take a look again, at those case studies and maybe take a look at what the real value is that my clients walk away with? Let me take a look. What are the results? What are the benefits, not just from our time together? Let’s say a VIP day, you will learn a lifetime benefits of those shifts and transformations and the blueprint to create that our custom to them and not just copying somebody else’s. And what can I do to own the value? What is the path that I had to walk? What are the investments that I made to be here? Not just financially in my coaches? What life lessons they go through? How do you put a price on two trips, Dr. Detail burnout? How do you put a price on overcoming postpartum depression? How do you put a price and meaning behind the life that you have known to say yes to a new chapter in your journey? travelling halfway across the world and starting a new life? How do you put a price on all the failures that you have been through on on the stage that you have made that they have taught you may have brought you to where you are right now. So all of that combined? like yeah, it’s time to start owning this shit.
David Ralph [43:57]
mindset isn’t a once you go, I deserve it. When it becomes easy.
Sara Oblak Speicher [44:02]
Yeah, and I deserve it. Even if you have written down on all the mirrors in your house and all the notes in all the pockets, you have to say it with conviction. So you embody it. So every single cell in your body vibrates at that frequency. Because you can keep repeating all those amazing mantras, you can do all the fun stuff. But if you don’t believe it, if you don’t own it, if you don’t walk it, if you don’t pocket, you know, when you wake up in the morning, and you’re scared shirtless, like you know what, I feel excited today, your body doesn’t know the difference between anxiety and excitement. It’s what you tell it to be. Yeah,
David Ralph [44:44]
I agree with you. I agree with you totally. I was I was hanging on every word fair. And tying it in nicely. We’re going to hear the words as Steve Jobs said back in 2005. But Steve Jobs, quite Why is the said that if he looked in the mirror every morning for 10 days, and I don’t really fancy what I’m doing today, he changed it. And he moved on, he was very aware of those energies. And he is Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [45:08]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leaves you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [45:43]
Now, of course you listen to those words back in 2014, November 2014. True, that’s still true. They still can you see whether you’re dots and leading?
Sara Oblak Speicher [45:54]
Um, I would like to say yes.
And that comes down to again, the mindset that we were talking about the comfort, and how our mind will learn to fabricate the reality to keep us in the comfort zone. So when we look forward, we have all those envisioning exercises, right? What do you envision, who do you see yourself becoming and you tap into the feeling of that future self, you tap into the feeling of creating this desired outcome, you tap into the feeling of living a certain life, you tap into the feeling of oh my gosh, I just got this money wired into my account, it feels amazing. And you step into this energy, and you do whatever you can to remain in this energy. And when the doubt comes up, you work through it, when the fear comes up, you work through it, or sometimes you just give it a cookie and sending back to the backseat. But we dare to what you do. You familiarise yourself with that vision, and you you literally they the machete and you clear off the path to where you want to go. So the dots can connect clearly, nothing’s promised, we don’t know, you know, you can only set the intention. And then you can say, Well, I know it’s going to take a long time and five years have passed and you’re still not there. Or I can I cannot. It can happen right now. Why not? It’s already done. If Abraham Hicks, actually Esther Hicks, who channels Abraham, she’s extremely articulate when it comes to see that and she’s like, you know, when you want it, it’s already yours. When you have a desire, it’s already yours. Now it’s a new to actually clear the path and my desire come true. And it can happen in an instant. It doesn’t have to happen in five years, in 10 years. Because the time is is a construct. And we can collapse that if you want to glory, if you can believe that. Oh, no, it does have to take 10 years, he does have to be super hard. He does have to be super uncomfortable. It has to be super challenging. And of course, it’s going to be delighted. He’s going to come your way.
David Ralph [48:13]
I was still listening, you’ve done it again to me. Do you have that moment of clarity when I think oh my god, she stopped talking and I’m back on I’m back on to now one of the things just before we say goodbye to you, one of the things that we’re doing in Join Up Dots is he’s had a couple of different names is we are connecting people across the world. Because I believe by being connected with other like minded individuals is so powerful when you’ve got your dream starting or you can just look around. And I called it the gratitude club, first of all, but now I think I’m going to call it the happiness club. Because I think that once you can actually shake yourself and stop being positive. And just just focusing in on the things you’ve got all ready, which is amazing. Men life starts to take care of itself. And so we’re building groups around the world at the moment where people can, as I say, meet up with me meet up with other like minded individuals and and just try to get that ball rolling. Because once you get that ball rolling, and I was saying to the wife again last night, okay, this was this is confidential time. I say once you get a boulder going, you can move it with one finger. And she said, What about his appeal? I said, All I can do is appeal maybe not on the flat Do you can get just go with me when it’s easy to move it with your finger. And I think that’s what happens in life. I think as long as you can see what other people are doing and you feel connected to something more than yourself, then that boulder is going to start moving, isn’t it?
Unknown Speaker [49:51]
David Ralph [49:52]
Do you think my wife’s inspiring or the most negative person you’ve ever met? Once you record?
Sara Oblak Speicher [49:58]
Well, I only know her I you only hear your version of the storey behind.
You know, it could be just somebody who’s very pragmatic, it could be somebody who’s very realistic, or it could be somebody who’s just their their defence mechanism. Going to protect myself from disappointment. I’m just going to anticipate, you know, the lowest common denominator and whatever is extra just more amazing. I don’t know,
David Ralph [50:32]
I don’t know, I don’t know either, but I’m going to change it is my life mission. I’m going to change it. Well, this is the end of the show. And this is a bit that we of course called a sermon on the mic when we send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. But if you could go back in time and speak to the person who was last on the show, what would you say to them? Well, we’re going to find out because we’re going to play the music and when it pays you, because this is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [51:25]
Sara Oblak Speicher [51:29]
looking back, at about four and a half years ago, since I last did this exercise, a lot has changed. We have changed, I have changed, I have grown, I have evolved. And one thing that I would say to my younger version of itself, is to trust that instinct and trust that inner voice even more, even though I trusted it in the first place when I came from Europe to New York City. I never paid that tension really to it what it really meant. And was was never really intentional about it. What I was at a time was somebody who was super driven by external results. And as we were talking about during the interview, you know, the numbers in the bank account, the numbers of the scoreboard and numbers want to scale that was one defining. So to say to my anger, solve the trust that you know, voice to trust, the instincts to open up to divine downloads and trust and be guided at a time would probably be met with the phone and like what the heck are you talking about. But it is the way that I have learned the path of least resistance when you lean in, and when you listen to it. And when you allow yourself to just be and to know that whatever happens, everything happens from within you just as there was a quality note said if an egg is broken from the outside life ends, if it’s broken from inside, it begins because all the greatness comes from within that no matter the circumstances, no matter the storeys, no matter other people expectations. It all starts within it all starts with new, it all starts how you see yourself. And if you keep chasing this external stuff, you keep spinning in the cycle that leads to exhaustion and overwhelm, you know, the anger because you never quite get there and you start beating yourself up. But when you see that on the inside, when you feel your work or know your words, when you trust the journey, you have this piece and you have this conviction and you have this just different way of being in different way of seeing different way of walking for life. And you radiate different energy, so different things get attracted to you. And just so much easier to swim downstream that against the stream.
David Ralph [54:23]
I agree 100% on that one. So what’s the number one best way that our audience can connect with you?
Sara Oblak Speicher [54:32]
Oh, my goodness, they can check out the website and those resources page when they can find a tonne of videos, blogs, downloads, even some painful content if they want to bite sized steps to the next part of their journey. And all that is it. Sarah look Spyker calm, they can find me on Facebook, they can find me on LinkedIn, just send me a message, let me know that, you know, you’re reaching out to Join Up Dots. And we’ll go from there. Super simple,
David Ralph [55:04]
great stuff. And we’ll have all the links on the show notes. And of course, you can go back to November 2014 in the archives, and hear the younger versions of us and see see the difference between me and Sarah. And it’s a world is a night and day really is. Well, thank you so much for spending time with us today, joining up those dots. And please come back again when you’ve got even more dots to join up. Because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Sarah, thank you so much.
Sara Oblak Speicher [55:36]
Thank you, David for having me and for the audience for having me and sending a tonnes of sunshine from New York.
David Ralph [55:46]
So have a second time on the show. And it’s interesting. Yeah, when you hear the two shows put together the difference, the confidence, the the understanding of the the work you do on your on yourself, bang, bang translates to higher fees, mega results, nobody out there today will have gone straight to being able to charge 100 grand for you know, an afternoon’s work, nobody. They start with $50 and then $100 and then $200. But it’s the work you do on yourself, which is the key part that will move you on. And that will make things really, really sexy for you. So yes, as I said on the show, as as I’m saying on always show because it’s important to me, if you want to be connected to a global movement out there, have 10 million people that’s what I’m aiming for, or happy, inspired positive people that are all starting to make inroads into their new business into their new lives, seeing possibilities, all connected through Join Up Dots, just asked for me to set up a group in your local area. And then we can broadcast directly into your group. Even if it’s just be yourself at the beginning when you will be getting the live broadcast from Join Up Dots and some other goodies from across the world. And believe me, taking that first step of action is what it takes. So you can be one of the 10 million people that is going to change the world in the happiness club, the gratitude club, whatever you want to call it, but it’s powerful stuff. Until next time, Look after yourselves and I will be here waiting for you. That was David Ralph and Join Up Dots see again for my
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become so he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up Dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.