Welcome To The Join Up Dots Business Coaching Podcast With G Brian Benson
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Introducing G Brian Benson
Today’s guest on the Join Up Dots Business Coaching podcast has already been on the show back on in 2016.
This was the show where we discussed his journey to success and liberation.
Back then he was finding his way past the restraints of working in his family business.
Breaking from those emotional restraints that can sometime trap us with family.
Then through reading about his personal self development that he has undertaken.
Not least working through the self-doubt that plagues all of us at differing time he was invited onto Join Up Dots.
How The Dots Joined Up For G Brian Benson
Our guest today truly started to change his perspective on his capabilities by undertakings several physical challenges.
By competing in over 50 Iron-man competitions he found the confidence to start easing into his creative passions.
The kind of passions that most people would say “Well that’s ok…but how you do make a living from it?”
Well he has done this amazingly well and now with several published books, a TedX talk and other passions coming to the fore he is cooking on gas.
So is success built by you believing in yourself, or the world believing in you?
And when you realise that you can literally do what you want in life does that liberate or actually stop you in your tracks?
Do we need choices made for us at the beginning to really start going where we want?
Well lets find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Mr. G Brian Benson.
During today’s show we discussed such weight subjects with G Brian Benson such as:
We discuss how working for yourself can sometimes be so isolating that the quality of work can go down dramatically.
These are the times when you have to reconnect with the world to find inner spark once more.
Brian Benson shares how he finally managed to grow into his talents and accepted who he is in the world.
Brian remembers how he felt great pressure to be perfect after writing his self development book.
He finally realised that just because you want to be better doesn’t mean you have to demonstrate a holier than thou persona everyday.
We talk about the gift that he had inside him, and why he just knew that he had to free it no matter how long it took
Brian shares how he needed to give himself a recharge by taking a driving trip through America. His business flourished when he returned.
How To Connect With G. Brian Benson
Or if you prefer just pop over to our podcast archive for thousands of amazing episodes to choose from.
Audio Transcription Of G Brian Benson Interview
David Ralph [0:00]
Join me each month as I show you how you can follow our process to start an own your own life changing online business. This is business masterclass at its best, head over to join up dots.com and book your place for the next training session. And I’ll see you there.
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling join up dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK David Ralph
David Ralph [0:41]
Yes. Hello, a good morning, everybody. Good morning. And thank you so much for tuning in to the join up dots podcast. Yes, it’s that inspirational motivational conversation, which literally can go in any direction. And that’s what I love about it. We, we never really know what’s going to come out the other end. And that’s all makes the journey more amazing for me. Well, today’s guest has already been on the show back in 2016, where we discussed his journey to success and I suppose liberation, but then he was finding his way past the restraints of working in his family business, breaking from those emotional restraints that can sometimes trappers when we’re dealing with family, now I actually found him when I stumbled across an amazing video called Guitar Man on YouTube, and been searching for happiness and been through reading about his personal self development that he’s undertaken. I knew that I had to have him on join up dots and one of the things he’s done really well is not least working through the self doubt, but plays all of us at different times. Our guest today truly started to change his perspective on these capabilities by undertaking several physical challenges by competing in over 50 Ironman competitions, he found the confidence to start easing into his creative passions, the kind of passions that most people would say, well, that’s okay. But how do you make a living from it? He’s done this amazingly well. And now we’ve several published books at TEDx talk, and other passions coming to the fore. He’s cooking on gas. So its success built by you actually believing in yourself? Or is it that the world actually believes in you? And when you realize that you can literally do what you want in life? Does that liberate or actually stop you in your tracks? Do we need choices made for us at the beginning to really start going where we want? Well, let’s find out as we bring on to the show, to start join up dots with the one and only Mr. g. Brian Benson. Good morning, Brian,
G Brian Benson [2:31]
how are you, sir? Hey, David, I’m really I’m Fantastic. Thank you for the kind words,
David Ralph [2:37]
it’s lovely to have you on me, it really is. I always say to people, you know, one day, we should do this in a bar. And and you’re one of your one of those guys that I think could drink me under the table and still come back for more?
G Brian Benson [2:51]
Well, I don’t know about that. I’m not much of a drinker. But I would happily sit there with you and try.
David Ralph [2:57]
We were talking just beforehand about how age gets us. And we can start in the entrepreneurial world becoming quite isolated in many ways. Let’s talk about that. Because I think it’s an important thing to bring to the fore. Because in join up dots we talk about creating your own life and going for it. But there is a kind of comfort for working in an office where there’s people every day, and you can chat and it’s kind of comfortable and you have somebody to go out for lunch, we’ve been on a Friday, there’s always people going out for a beer and stuff. You have to stay totally different from that now due to miss a bit blood.
G Brian Benson [3:38]
Wow, that’s a great question. Now, I don’t think that I do my office before, you know, the last 10 years obviously has just been kind of me and, you know, taking my laptop to a coffee shop or or staying at home and working. And so I think, you know, I’m a I’m an outgoing introvert. So I’m, I’m an introvert by nature, and that that kind of works for me. Now, my job prior to kind of, you know, doing my own thing, obviously, I ran my family business where we had a golf center that serve the public, you know, with a driving range a nine hole par three course in a store. So I was dealing with people every day. And you know, I was good at it, and I enjoyed it. But I so I’ve never really had an office type job. But the times when I do feel like I need to get some energy around me and to connect with people, I’ll just take my laptop to the coffee shop, and you know, do my work there. And then, you know, take my my earbuds out when I feel like I need to kind of just poke my head up and see what’s going on and chat with the folks for a few minutes. And then I’ll go back in. So you know, I think this does suit me, but I do need I do need interaction and you know, I searched search out search it out when I need it. Yeah, because
David Ralph [4:52]
he’s become glued to the web of it recently, where I can go weeks without seeing anyone at all. And people say to me, it must be amazing for you, you do this, and you do that. And I go, Oh, yeah, it is amazing. But there are elements of working for yourself. Isn’t it amazing. And I think you’ve got to be that kind of person like you are, but it’s quite happy to be in their own space, do you think?
G Brian Benson [5:16]
For sure, it definitely works for me. But you know, like we talked prior to coming on and just a second ago, I do also know that I need we need connection, we need to connect with other people, you know, we are all connected at a deeper level. And so if i hibernate too much, that’s not good either. And there’s been times when I have and so as I’ve grown, I just you know, I’ve learned to really kind of be aware of that and pay attention to to get a nice balance and to get out there and mingle a little bit and you know,
David Ralph [5:52]
have no point jumping into easy to slump slum p or is your work not as Sparky or what?
G Brian Benson [6:00]
Yeah, all the all the above? Absolutely. You know, for the most part, I’m alone, but not lonely. But there’s times when I start to kind of feel lonely. And, you know, I’ll go out and hang out with some friends you know, and it’s kind of interesting, the coffee shop has, there was a coffee shop that I took my my stuff to, you know, every other day for five or six years, and it closed down and now just threw me for a loop. And it was an amazing place. It was kind of like, it’s kind of like my goat and barber shop, you know what I mean? Some of my buddies were there with their laptops, and we just became good friends and I even got a part on a TV show. And that coffee shop. So it really served a purpose for me of not only allowing, you know place to get out and and get some work done but but just to connect with other people. Because if we don’t it’s it’s I don’t think it’s good.
David Ralph [6:50]
Please tell me that coffee shop was Central Park, please tell me that you found yourself in with Jennifer Aniston and the world?
G Brian Benson [7:00]
Well, you know that that did happen in a dream but but in all reality, it was a coffee bean. It was in Studio City, few miles away from the Warner Brothers lot. Not too far. But, ya know.
David Ralph [7:13]
So So let’s talk about your sort of background, because you came on in 2016. And I felt when I was speaking to you, but you were a creative force. But in many ways it hadn’t been directed in the right direction. It since then, it seems to me you found your thing. And with your children’s book sort of coming out frequently. What are you connected to what you should be doing now, because I think most of us, when we decide to do something, we kind of play around with loads of stuff, until we actually connect with what really was waiting for us all the time.
G Brian Benson [7:49]
About that was very intuitive of you to pick up on that, you know, I think I think I will always do a little bit of everything. It’s just in my nature. And I really want to those that that Gemini part of me, but but early on, you know, I was kind of searching a little bit and not only searching, but I was also just coming out of my shell, I didn’t really know that I had any of the creative abilities that I have, you know, when I left my family business, they were all new to me. And as they kind of began to show themselves, I had to follow those intuitive hits and see where they lead. Because you know, not only it allowed me to create some hopefully, positive, helpful, inspiring content for people. But it also helped me learn and grow. And it also empowered me all at the same time. So it was really all just naturally part of my own self growth and self awareness process. But the last few years, it’s still kind of been that way. But I have been getting to to, I think own it more. And as I begin to own it more my confidence grows, and I start to maybe branched out into little different ways. Like I think my last, the last frontier for me to really step into, into own is speaking publicly. And I’ve done it a little bit, but I know that I will enjoy it. It’s all still a little fearful for me, but I’m doing it and I’m actually got hired to speak in Sweden this September. So I’m really excited about the possibilities for that. But I will always continue to write books, whether their children’s books or self help books. And, you know, acting is really important for me to it feels very cathartic. And I love to create positive content, whether it’s a spoken word video or a short film. So I will do everything a little bit. But as I’ve grown and continue to really own who I am, and come into alignment with my own self worthiness, it just gets better. And I feel like I’m carrying less weight.
David Ralph [9:52]
So only you if I met you, would you say I’m an offer?
G Brian Benson [9:59]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I absolutely. You know, there’s a part of me before this is like, I kind of felt like everybody can do what I was doing. But what
David Ralph [10:07]
did you pause when I asked you that, Brian, why did you go? I’m not really sure for a moment.
G Brian Benson [10:15]
It just took me a second to register the question, I suppose. But there was also a part of me, that would poo poo all that I was doing. And and so there, like I said, I’m really at this place of just really finally stepping into who I am and what I’m doing and, and being proud of it. I mean, I’m very proud of all that I’ve done. But it’s interesting how I was able to do a lot of it without really being on board with my own self love and acceptance. Hmm.
David Ralph [10:43]
And I think there’s there’s a hook, but we only personally. And I think certainly when I started, I played the role of a podcaster. But now, it’s my thing. And I think once you decide on what your thing is going to be, and I’ve been looking at your work, and I read your book recently, as I said to you, it’s quite obvious, but you are an author. And that definition of role makes it so much easier for people to understand and value what you do. I think that’s the problem with most of us at the beginning. We didn’t quite say on that. And so we do a little bit of bass and a little bit of that and a little bit of something else. And people get confused. It’s like confused messages, would you say?
G Brian Benson [11:29]
That’s a great point. And and since I wasn’t really sure what I was or who I wasn’t what I was doing, other people weren’t either. And so as I begin to really step into all that I’m doing, I know that, you know, just think of it as like maybe my own defense shields or my own energy shields will lift and other people will really be able to, you know, understand that and see who I am and, and and get on board. And and so I’m you know if that makes sense. And I would just like to say that you’re an amazing podcaster.
David Ralph [11:59]
Oh, thank you, Brian, I won’t sleep with you. But thank you for that anyway.
I would go there. So the interesting thing is, why do we have that sort of lack of self belief in ourselves, because honestly, I’ve said this numerous times on the show, when I started because I was in corporate land. And when I became a podcaster, I found it very difficult to actually share what I was doing. It was it was almost like a brown paper bag kind of thing. I would creep around until people started to notice now. And I think really it was about 100 shows maybe 200 shows before I finally thought to myself, I am a podcaster. And once I did that, I think the quality went up and my understanding of the crop and my desire to understand the craft as well. Well, at the beginning, I think I had one foot in one camp and one foot and another one.
G Brian Benson [12:58]
No, that’s a great point, I think until we really do to do own it. You know, there’s different ways that we can self sabotage ourselves. And he said that your quality even got better once you really own it. Well, prior to that, I mean, you were still doing a great job. But maybe there was just that part of you that held back a little bit or you know what I mean? And and I think that I’m no different. And so, why why do we do that? I mean, I think there’s a million reasons. You know, we we get beat down in a variety of ways. You know, sometimes with our environment that we grew up in, or society or some some even, it could be just a simple, simple single comment that somebody makes when we’re younger that sticks with us and, and hold us back. I mean, I’ll give you an example. When I was in high school, I played on the JV baseball team as a sophomore, and there was just a couple of us, most of the guys were a year older. And one of them tease me he thought I looked like a monkey and so was friends. They started calling me that throughout the whole season and during the school year, and then it really hurt me. It made me feel not attractive. And I think that stuck with me for for most of my life. And I’m finally kind of like letting that go. I know it sounds crazy, you know, because I’ve understood it intellectually. But yet, sometimes when we get yet hurt in a friend fragile age it it can really mess with us. So
you know, that’s just one example.
David Ralph [14:25]
But I was watching an interview the other day that there’s a Scottish guy who isn’t known over here, but he’s very well known in America, Craig Ferguson. And I love watching The Late Late Show from about five years ago. We have Craig burgers and because it’s just it’s it’s mad that there’s so much and he has a pantomime horse that comes out. And he has a robot host called Jeff Peterson and it’s also a very weird thing. And he was saying but he interviewed Desmond Tutu, Bishop Desmond Tutu, Desmond Tutu, which was a strange guest to have on the show, said, This show is really mad. He said, this is really mad, but the world needs your kind of madness. And Craig Ferguson sort of said it was like, the anchors suddenly got cut. And from then on, he threw himself into it even more, he allowed himself to do more and more crazy things. And the quality of the show went up. Why do you think once again, and it all comes back to self belief? But why do you think that we need to have that, that one conversation with somebody that almost gives us to permission to be totally who we are, why don’t we just accept that, like the very beginning tipping? Yeah.
G Brian Benson [15:45]
Well, you know, it’s, as we’re as we’re, especially if we’re doing something new, I mean, it’s it is new, and we’re not really sure of ourselves. And there’s the competence isn’t quite there yet. And we don’t know, we have what it takes. And sometimes it takes a while to plow through all and, and you know, settle in with it. And, and the key thing I, you know, for me is just to continue to follow that intuitive hunch. And if it, I always felt like if I was doing it, something may be kind of a little bit fearful, but also maybe excited, I knew I was headed in the right direction. And so I just kind of trusted that and, and I knew, I mean, everything that I’ve created, all my projects, Brooks films, you name it, they’ve all been it’s an extension of myself growth process, as I’ve tried to be the best version of myself all the you know, and work on myself. And these things all appeared. And so for me, I just kind of just trusted that and just tried to be the best version of me and allowed everything else just to kind of happen. And as everything happened, then it something that some things took me a little while longer than others to to own but it’s, it’s making me feel so amazing that I’m able to really, finally share my authentic voice because there was a part of me forever, that really held that back and was afraid to maybe kind of, you know, be myself and try that fly that freak flag every part still viral, or, or whatever. I mean, I just did some a couple days ago on Facebook, that was a huge step out of my comfort zone. I’m not a singer. I don’t profess to be a singer. I don’t even sing in the shower,
David Ralph [17:24]
do this. Why don’t you sing in the shower?
G Brian Benson [17:26]
That’s the place. I understand. But I don’t really I’m this, that’s not what I do. I just don’t really it doesn’t call to me. But I wrote this, this old time Western song to the tune of the streets of Laredo, an old, an old Western song from 1800, with some really nice messages in it. And I thought, all right, this is part of me that feels like I need to kind of be perfect. And there’s another part of me that that’s embarrassed, they can’t do not like to be embarrassed in public. And so what better way than to frickin sing this song on a video for Facebook and
David Ralph [18:01]
G Brian Benson [18:03]
Why don’t I don’t know about that.
But I know that sounds Goofy, but it was just very liberating. And I feel like I needed to do that. To open the door even further to like, like, maybe Craig got permission from two to I had to give myself permission in that regard to even to even push my envelope further. Because like I said, I’m kind of an introverted person. And it’s, it’s taken me longer than probably others to to do something.
David Ralph [18:31]
But let’s play some words now and being come straight after we Brian, he’s Jim Carrey,
Jim Carrey [18:36]
my father could have been a great comedian. But he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you move might as well take a chance on doing what it now
David Ralph [19:03]
I’m really fascinated at the moment by based on one dimensional competence that people demonstrate online, where they find the one thing and I suppose I’m a victim of this on the podcast, I sound very, very competent. And if you make me away from the podcast, I’m a totally different person. You know, I we’ve got multi sort of facets. But does that stop people from following Brian Benson into the sort of online and the creative world? And do we only do we allow too much of that almost fake positivity out, even though we try to be real?
G Brian Benson [19:42]
Oh, my gosh, I know that I did that early on, especially after I wrote my first couple of books, self help books, right after I left the family business, I put a lot of pressure myself to be kind of perfect and pious and present myself a certain way. Because here, I was writing self help. And that messed me up. I you know, by nature, I’m a pretty witty guy, and, you know, like my share of inappropriate humor. And, and, and I really just the last few years, I’ve been just trying to get myself back to that person and really giving myself permission to just be me and do me as I share with the world that makes sense. And so Absolutely, I mean, you know, obviously, we have to kind of present ourselves a certain way, but but lately, I’ve really just been focusing on just being as real as I can. And
David Ralph [20:38]
I struggle with this, Brian, I struggle
Unknown Speaker [20:41]
on the show.
David Ralph [20:42]
I know that it’s a performance, I know, that I am presenting, I am trying to blend information with entertainment. So he’s engaging for people to listen to, and in many ways that puts you into that fake environment where or maybe, maybe it’s not fake, maybe it’s just professional, maybe you’re doing what you have to do at that time.
G Brian Benson [21:07]
Well, I, I think he can be both. But I think for you, it’s just, it’s the latter. It’s just being professional. And you know, you obviously have to, you know, you know, what, constitutes a good show, and you want to try to, you know, have those bases covered and do that, so, so people will get some value from it and continue to listen. So I don’t think that’s being fake. I mean, yes, we can be fake. There are ways to be fake, you know, by presenting ourselves completely false, or, you know, just not sharing. Just really showing a lopsided view or, you know, picture but
David Ralph [21:47]
did you do you know what, I think Mike’s a great show, Brian, I think right. Guests singing I think I think guest on a podcast, I think this is the new thing you’ve inspired me to to hear cowboys song, what’s being sung on every podcast?
G Brian Benson [22:04]
Well, let’s say, Okay, I’m not it’s like a paragraph, maybe how about I just
Unknown Speaker [22:11]
David Ralph [22:12]
don’t worry, competence, big competence, you’re gonna own this space.
G Brian Benson [22:17]
I’m not a singer. Okay, so
I don’t have my guitar here to kind of tune it to let you know, kind of whatever. But ok. So as I went out walking, to ponder a query, and find some relief on a clear, cloudless day, my mind was a toxin on quite the dilemma. I began to take stock on my life in my ways, had I been a good person, had I done my own duty? Did I do right by family and love them with care. And I honored myself and express my true nature that I seek out adventure and little bear BCI had dive into the seller, I hit my head on the cold, harder, lower. I am not of this earth. No communing with angels. But somewhere between is my soulful rock or
David Ralph [23:15]
you deserve? I don’t know whether to give you the golden buzzer, or send you through to the judges houses.
G Brian Benson [23:22]
What should I do? Well, there’s both positive experience. I don’t know. I mean,
it depends on who the judges I mean, if it was like, you know,
David Ralph [23:33]
did you feel slightly sweaty? Now, Brian, you know, not as bad as that, that say that say? It’s just pushing you slightly out of your comfort, you’re saying that that’s the thing, you might have created a new element to my show.
G Brian Benson [23:48]
Thank you, I think,
David Ralph [23:50]
I think you should as well. And I’ll give you another round of applause me.
Unknown Speaker [23:54]
David Ralph [23:58]
When we start at the beginning, and apologies for some good questions in the introduction, do we need choices made for us at the beginning to really start going where we want, because one of the things I do now I do business coaching, and I find that people start working with me, and they go, I really love to do this, but I don’t know what to do. You know, I’ve got no ideas. And so I worked with them for a little bit. And then suddenly, I’ve got so many ideas, I’m saying to them, now come on rainy back, rainy back, let’s get focus, let’s get clarity. And it’s almost like they need to get given the map at the beginning to find the real way to live, you know, and keeping that sort of true generally, do you think that people, so I don’t know, institutionalized, I suppose, where people telling them what to do. But I need that little bit of being told what to do before they they start flying?
G Brian Benson [24:55]
possible, possibly, I think it just depends. I mean, for me, I had to follow my own hunches. And once I kind of started heading in that direction, and and as I got a little bit more clarity on what I was doing, then I might have, you know, seek out a little bit of help in that way. So I guess it can work that way. I think you don’t want to give too much power away, you know, if you’re not quite sure what you want to do, or if you’re just doing something because you think you need to and then go get the hell to do that. That makes sense. So I think ultimately, you need to really listen to your inner guidance.
David Ralph [25:30]
How did you start? How did you, you know, when you’re sitting there, and you’ve got a bucket full of golf balls, and you think to yourself, you know, I want something moving this, you know, because it would have been quite easy to just sit back.
G Brian Benson [25:44]
Yeah, I just I just I’ve been running it for 11 years. And I think in the back of my mind, early on, I kind of felt like it wasn’t what I was supposed to do with my life. But it got to the point there after about a year 11 that I just wasn’t growing there anymore. And I’m one that needs to kind of feel like I’m continually growing and I just I felt burnt out and I had a chat and I with my dad and I said, You know, I, I don’t want to do this anymore. And you know, he was understanding, you know, I would have done it either way. But but so I just I just knew that I felt like I had this gift inside of me that wanted to come out, even though I didn’t know what it was. And at the time, I didn’t know how to, to release it, but I just knew that I needed to try. So for me, it was just really stepping into the unknown. And I know that that is not a POS, you know, necessarily possible for everybody. But I think that if you’re not happy, you can definitely do some things on the side a little bit and experiment and take some classes and follow that, that joy and see where it leads while you’re still doing what you’re doing. And then then make a decision to maybe you know, break away. But for me, I just I just needed to leave. And then it was really all unexpected, I had to stay an extra year because we decided to sell it and we you know, had the list of business and finally a buyer. And so that was kind of a bummer, because I was ready to hit the road. But that last year was a blessing. Because as I was doing some self care, I sat down One day while I was feeling out of balance, and wrote down five things that I felt would help me. And they did and my intuition to screen, expand the list and write a book. And so I did and that is what kind of put me onto this path that I’m on. It was totally unexpected. But I was like I said earlier, just taking care of myself.
David Ralph [27:27]
It’s funny because we got a family business, I actually bought a family business off my mom and dad because they wanted to retire. So I thought I’d buy it worst mistake I’ve ever done. It’s been quite a strain. Now, this Sunday, actually, I’ve closed up upset to the staff. We’re not opening on Sunday. And so this Sunday, for the first time in 38 years, I’ve actually got some I’ve got Sunday three, because as an 11 year old, I used to help out in the shop. And then little by little it just became kind of a routine. And I just always only a few hours on a Sunday. And so I’ve always done that. And it’s it’s having that kind of family. I don’t know, emotional attachment is really difficult, isn’t it? I don’t think anybody can appreciate how you feel like you’re letting people down. When actually you’ve still got to go for it, you’ve got that gift that you need to share with the world.
G Brian Benson [28:24]
You’re absolutely right, you know, and I, I started working at our golf center when I was in seventh grade, you know, and picked the balls up in a beat up old riding lawnmower with a crappy kid made at a chicken wire to protect the hand. So you know, I had a lot of memories there. And I grew up there, you know, in so many different ways. So, but still, I just I I bet. I don’t think it really held me back. It might you know, it might have initially but I just I just knew what I needed to do.
David Ralph [28:57]
I knew you had a gift. So you didn’t go I want to earn my own money. You were focused on actually freeing something inside you.
G Brian Benson [29:09]
Yeah, yeah. You know, I, you know, I obviously would love to, you know, everybody else, you know, money’s money is important. I think for me, I don’t do what I do for the money but it it enables me to do even more projects if that makes sense. So I’m I’m motivated just by the creative process and and sharing, you know, hopefully positive, helpful material out into the world. Did you think
David Ralph [29:40]
that the most difficult bridge you can cross to actually make money doing something que la now I talked about this a lot on join up dots because you hear people say, follow your passion and you never have to work again. Now I work very hard at join up dots but it doesn’t feel like work. Because it’s you know, it’s something that’s fun. But the actual converting the passion into money was really hard, really hard.
G Brian Benson [30:07]
I hear you and I’m still I’m I’m just starting to kind of work through that and getting to that place of, of, you know, making a kind of be my my main thing. And I think some of that has to do with me not owning it earlier on. And so as I begin to own it more than as other people do, everything just starts to get better. And if that makes sense, and the money just kind of follows. You know, it’s it’s
that’s the way I’m feeling like it’s playing out. But you’re right. It’s not It’s
David Ralph [30:42]
not easy. It’s not easy, but it’s that that competence, again, is that vicious being that I think now you have to go through that kind of walk in the wilderness, where you’re, you’re lost, and you are trying to find your way, because I think that walk in the wilderness actually keeps you the competence, but it’s going to be okay, when you sort of come out the upper end. I know that sounds a bit sort of mystical. But yeah, I think you have to lose yourself to find yourself somehow.
G Brian Benson [31:13]
Absolutely. I mean, when Yeah, sometimes you really get us gotta get beat down so that you really let go of all those preconceived stories that you tell yourself or that you’ve been taught to really begin to solidify your foundation and build it back up. And, you know, my latest book is just a, you know, culmination of the last 10 years of my own hero’s journey and paying attention and almost kind of sitting in the observers perch, watching my own self growth and self awareness, process journey. And, you know, I don’t think it’s any accident that my first book was on a whole bunch of different ways to stay in balance, because I learned early on what kept me in balance, and what threw me out of balance that helped me develop a really solid routine and become hyper aware. And, and, you know, work through work, work on that, and then all these other habits that I paid attention to, and, you know, utilized, it’s just, it’s really helped me. I mean, everything that I’ve done is for me, first and foremost in my own process. And you know, we’re all very similar in a lot of ways. And if I can help other people solidify their foundation and shed their shed their own incorrect stories and beliefs about themselves, so that they can share their their true voice than that, then it’s all it’s all worthwhile.
David Ralph [32:31]
Do you fall into the camp that some people say, you know, as long as I help one person when my life has been worthwhile? Or do you think you said, No, I want to help a billion people, 7.8 million people.
G Brian Benson [32:44]
I’m the latter, I want to help all those people. I want to help a lot of people. I mean, when I was three, I told my mom, I was put here to inspire people. And she reminded me after I kind of began this book journey, and all this other stuff, and I’m doing so I feel like it’s like my life’s mission. And yes, I wanted do it. I mean, I’m very, I feel like I’m pretty humble and have that in check and grounded. But, but I do feel like I do want to do it on a bigger scale. And I know that it will bring me a lot of joy and happiness. And I’ve worked my butt off to get to this place to really be able to do it in a grounded, truthful, authentic way, if that makes sense. It makes total sense. And the sort of the leading question is, that desire to help so many people, ultimately can mean that you’re the last person to put your mask on.
David Ralph [33:35]
And you struggle. I went through that big time. And I know so many people through the show, have gone through that, where they just laid all their energies out for the world to take, because I feel like they’re doing the right thing. Until the right thing comes back and bites from it says something, but you’re kind of aware with Brian Benson, although he wants to, you know, change the lives billions. But ultimately, it all comes down to you looking after yourself first.
G Brian Benson [34:05]
Absolutely. And like I just mentioned a second ago, the balance aspect of knowing you know, what works for me, and why doesn’t that’s been very, very helpful. And I being kind of the outgoing introvert that I am, I need a lot of quiet time to refill my cup, and I go out and hike in nature almost every day, and that refills my cup and helps my creativity level. So I’m very, very aware of how I need to take care of myself. For sure.
David Ralph [34:31]
I got told once about introvert and extrovert, and people always think about I’m an extrovert, because I can stand up on stage. And I can do this and I can do, I can do anything I want in that regard. But as soon as I’ve done it, I disappear. And I become very much on my own. And it’s that energy is that energy that I need to recharge myself ready to go again. And I think that is something that I I never really connected on enough that I needed to actually recharge myself. And that ability to disconnect was going to bring more strength into my business.
G Brian Benson [35:11]
Amen. I’m right there with you. And it’s interesting sometimes while I’ll be going kind of hard for a while, I’ll know when I need to take a break because I almost suddenly I won’t be able to be creative and get stuff done. Or I won’t even feel like working. It’s like, all right, it’s time to take a break. And sometimes that break might just be the afternoon. Sometimes it might be two days. I remember a couple years ago, I was just really Whitson and I took two I drove for two weeks to the American Southwest. And the it was hard at first to give myself permission to do that. But I soon realized that whenever I came back from a break, I hit the ground running, I felt creative. I had all kinds of stuff just work through me. And I’ve been able to learn how to been able to learn to trust that I can get a lot of work done if I need to, if I’ve been refilled, if that makes sense. And so that was a really big lesson for me.
David Ralph [36:08]
I used to go on vacation, first year of join up dots four or five years ago. And I was always looking for Wi Fi so that I could sort of connect to check my emails and stuff. Now I’m quite happy to just disconnect for a month. And if it goes, as we say over here, pear shaped and it all goes wrong. I think to myself, it doesn’t really matter. You know, there’s there’s no one out there going, Oh my god, I’m gonna die if an episode of join up dots doesn’t come out, you know. And I used to build huge pressure. But at midnight on Monday, Tuesday, Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays, a show had to be going. And if you know the internet wasn’t working, what was I going to do? And now I think to myself, I won’t do anything. I just just let it happen and then see what happens.
G Brian Benson [36:54]
What you’re absolutely right. And there was a part of me to that worried about that and felt like I needed to post all the time on social media. And you know, what, if my energy wasn’t behind it, it didn’t really matter, because people want to be behind it anyway. So you know, anymore. It’s just like, I try to just post when I feel like I want to and like it’s exciting and exciting. Something to post you know what I mean? And then people people back that up. And so
I couldn’t agree with you more.
David Ralph [37:19]
Tell me about Vicki, Tom and in Reno, because that’s where I stumbled across you. And I watched this video on YouTube. And it was great. And so I connected with you on the strength of how did you find this guy? And why were you inspired to actually make that film?
G Brian Benson [37:36]
Great question. So when my my first book came out, it didn’t sell very well. And this is 10 years ago, number one because I didn’t know how to market a book then. And number two is I was terrified to speak in front of people. So after I left the family business, I moved from Salem to Reno because my son lived about 30 miles away in Northern California. He was just entering High School. So I kind of went there to be there for him as well as to, you know, begin to reinvent myself. But I knew that if I wanted to share that message of the book, I needed to overcome my fear. So I began doing a lot of things like I did some community called speech classes, I did Toastmasters, I created an interactive workshop, I hired someone to co host an internet radio show with me who’d been doing it and I and I took an acting class. We’re acting, the acting class was over, I didn’t really think much of it. And I had a dream come to me. And when I woke up I go, this felt really powerful. I better write it down. And it was the story, Guitar Man. And then a couple weeks after that, I just I met a young filmmaker randomly and I said, Hey, I had this idea. I don’t I’ve never acted before I’ve ever made a film before. I wouldn’t know how would you want to do this with me? And he said yes. And so then we filmed the Guitar Man over the course of four or five nights in Reno. And it was just the most exciting empowering thing I think I had ever done after that point. It just really made me feel alive. I never played guitar in front of anybody. yet here I was doing a film and the film did was well received at film festivals. And somebody else saw that gave me the lead in theirs. And that brought me to LA six years ago. So it’s a crazy story. But it’s it’s true. You know, as I was just working on bettering myself in that realm of public speaking, this thing came to me and and initially, when I started writing books, I kind of felt like that’s how I was going to reach people. But after doing that film, I go, Whoa, there’s so many other ways of putting out positive content. And it doesn’t just doesn’t have to be a book Plus, it just woke my butt up.
David Ralph [39:45]
What interests me with bats is, there is a connection, there’s dots that join up. There’s opportunities that have occurred, which some people will go to, that’s a bit weird. But you if you’re fat, kind of, you know, we hear about the law of attraction all the time. And I think but the law of attraction, in many ways is is complete rubbish, because I think it just is a three words, back channel, your ability to be more positive, and look around and see opportunities, which if you’re negative, and if you’re a bit down, you probably don’t see. But the law of attraction is the secondary role. The law of vibration is the first one. So if you’re and you’re happy, and you’re positive, and you’re sort of enthusiastic, these things naturally party water. Now, I’ve done a lot of research in quantum physics and the fact that we vibrate at a certain frequency and we’re all energy and or mass and stuff. So do you think that you just increased your vibrancy? I suppose at that time, which connected you with a filmmaker? Do you think you were actually the the tuning fork at that time to make that thing happen?
G Brian Benson [41:00]
Absolutely. I it’s a combination. I mean, I agree we’re energy as well. And so I think it’s a combination of me being in alignment with maybe my, my, my life’s path. I mean, you know, I think our intuition is our true guidance. And, you know, spirit universe, God, whatever you want to call it, it’s kind of our, it’s our blueprint. And since I was listening and following my intuition, I then began to do those things that put me but the made the synchronous stick events happen. And, and as my vibration raised, because I was doing that, and I was feeling excited and empowered. And, and all alive. You know, it just, it just kept growing. And so you know, I can, you know, connect the dots. I mean, I can just look back and see how one thing led to another led to another led to another, it’s because I was paying attention. And I was saying yes.
David Ralph [42:00]
Yes, man, you became the Yes, man.
Unknown Speaker [42:04]
David Ralph [42:05]
is one of my favorite films, I love that film, to just embrace the message of it. And yeah, there’s silliness in it. But you can’t get away from that, can you? And I’m a great one for saying no, I say no to a lot of stuff, just so that when the thing that really excites me comes along, I’ve got this time in the space to say yes. I you similar to that. D Are you aware that once you get a certain amount of success, you get a lot of opportunities that come your way. And more often than not, you’re not actually asking for them, it’s like, the other person wants your time and energy. So it’s not really your opportunity. Anyway,
G Brian Benson [42:43]
that’s a great point. And early on, I would say yes to a ton of stuff just because I was hungry. And I was probably I don’t know, desperate to the right word. But I was I knew I was headed and I wanted to get there quickly. And and that just led to a lot of you know, stumbling. And so the further along I got, the more I began to trust my intuition with with opportunities, I mean, somewhere just the full steam ahead. And those usually ones that kind of well I created but you’re right, people start to reach out in different ways, whether it’s they want to try to get some money from you to market something or or to give you a legit opportunity. So I’m I’m now able to definitely say no a lot. Because there are a lot of things that popped in that just don’t feel right to me, or maybe I’ve kind of grown beyond or just the people that are involved just don’t feel like a good match for me. Maybe, you know, I along their own growth process. If that makes sense. It makes I want to work with just really high vibrational good, authentic folks who want the best for everybody.
David Ralph [43:56]
It’s the world of kindness, isn’t it? That’s my moment. Hello, because don’t trying to be the nicest, kindest person where you know, that old thing about nice guys finish last. I don’t think that’s true. I think nice guys. First.
G Brian Benson [44:12]
I agree. It’s better to be kind and to be right.
David Ralph [44:15]
Yeah, absolutely. Especially if you’re my wife, because she’s always right. And yeah, absolutely. Before we send you back in time on the Sermon on the mic, when we’re going to send you back to the last time he was on the show, where are the thoughts heading now for you, Brian? Obviously, they seem to me but speeding up, but they seem to be further apart, like you’re leaping you’re you’re gaining more traction, because you’re actually using those as stepping stones?
G Brian Benson [44:46]
Yes, well, I think I think going forward, you’ll see me probably be more successful financially with what I’m doing. I think I will def definitely, you know, my confidence will continue to grow in a lot of different realms, I’m going to start doing a lot more teaching, I used to do some workshops, but I want to start doing some more of those, you know, online speaking, I’m gonna start doing that. And that’s going to just begin to really feel fun and exciting as I do that more. I think, you know, with acting, it’s interesting. I, you know, I’ve been blessed. And I’ve gotten some nice parts out here. But there was still a part of me that wasn’t really owning myself and calling myself an actor, even though I studied for quite a long time. And you know, went to a lot of auditions like everybody else. And I think as I began to own that, I think hopefully, that will open up some doors as well. I’ve been blessed. The last last couple months, I’ve been in a couple of Jay sheds videos, one was just released yesterday. And then another one came out about three weeks ago that has over 60 million views. And so that’s been fun. And I’ve been in some of princes inspirational viral videos, as well. And he’s a good man. And so
David Ralph [45:56]
anybody thought she’d been enjoying that DJ twice.
G Brian Benson [46:00]
I wasn’t, I wasn’t finished.
David Ralph [46:03]
See how needy I am, how need to get it out of you.
G Brian Benson [46:10]
But I just I just see everything you know, and there’s a part of me that I it’s interesting with that whole law of attraction thing, you know, there’s a part of me I think they can really bug us up is if we if we focus too hard on exactly what we want, then we just get on our head and stuff. And we start paying attention too much. And it just it bogs us down where I’m more of a, I want to hold an intention, I know where I’m headed. And I’ve learned to trust that it can happen in a lot of different ways, which frees me up and it actually opens up the opportunities in a bigger, wider range. And so I’m there’s a part of me that just you know, as long as I own myself and begin to love and accept myself, everything else will fall into place. And so that’s what I’m really focusing on right now is just, you know, me,
David Ralph [46:55]
I think I actually operate in the law of excitement. And I think that is, when I feel really excited. I’m doing something behind the scenes of join up dots at the moment. And I feel excited about it, because I know, I’m doing something really right. And it’s going to have a big boost to my profile, my show and whatever. And it’s already working. I can see. And so I want to do more of it. And it’s you know, I feel genuinely excited. So yeah, I don’t have the law of attraction. I think I had the law of excitement.
G Brian Benson [47:27]
I agree. I agree. I agree.
David Ralph [47:30]
Well, this is the bill to show that we’ve been building up to that we call this sermon on the mic when we’re going to send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And this time, we’re going to send you back to the Brian who last appeared on the show. And if you could meet him again. What advice would you give him to ease him to where you are now where we’re going to find out? Because I’m going to play the theme. And when it fades Europe, this is the Sermon on the mic.
G Brian Benson [48:20]
Brian, I just want you to know that Elvis, although it sounds cliche, I want you to really focus on just enjoying your journey the next three years and have fun with what you’re doing. And trust that you are enough. And that what you’re doing is enough, and it’s going to get you to where you want to go. But the key is for you to just have fun. Get out there and do a variety of things. Don’t Don’t get too hung up on your quote, destination. Just have fun. And know that you’re enough.
David Ralph [48:56]
nice simple advice. Brian, what’s the number one best way that our audience can connect with you, sir?
G Brian Benson [49:03]
My website which is G Brian Benson calm. And the new book is on habits for success. book.com.
David Ralph [49:13]
And I’ve read that and it’s a good one, isn’t it?
G Brian Benson [49:16]
Thank you. I’m really, really proud of how it turned out. I appreciate you saying that I really, really feel like it’s it’s inspiring, entertaining and thought provoking all at the same time. And it’s I tried to keep it moving. And you know, I’m really happy with how it turned out.
David Ralph [49:30]
No, it was good. It was a good story. And it had, I could send you in it. You know, literally every guest that comes on offers me a book. And I always read like the first bit and I’ll be honest, I don’t read all of them. But your one I actually did proceed through and I enjoyed it very much. I thought it was one to be to be purchased by people across the world.
G Brian Benson [49:52]
Thank you very much David I really appreciate that. So
David Ralph [49:57]
sorry, Brian. They just looked a bit strange there. Here we go. So thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining those dots. Please come back again when you have more dots to join up. Because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Mr. G. Brian Benson. Thank you so much.
G Brian Benson [50:16]
Thank you brother. It was my pleasure anytime.
David Ralph [50:21]
G Brian Benson he’s a great guy. I really really do like him and the work that he does is just it’s quality but its quality with a whole lot you know, you can sense he’s a nice guy doing his best and come over to the show notes and look at these videos there’s going to be links on there for Guitar Man and searching for happiness and of course go and check out his books and his products because you know he’s he’s a good one really, really like that guy. Until next time thank you so much for being here on the join up dots family appreciate having your ears and I look forward to having you in your body and everything else you can give me next time. Look after you
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become so he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to join up dots.com to download this amazing guy for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on join up dots.