Are You A Self Sabotager Is Discussed On The Join Up Dots Podcast
Lets Start With The Email From A Self Sabotager
Dear David, first time writer to the show after listening to months of your great output.
I would appreciate your point of view on something that I am going through and keep on going through.
I seem to be able to do very well for myself, and get really well paid jobs before allowing it to come down all around me due to my own actions.
This has happened a few times and Im not sure why I am doing this to myself, as I know its me that’s at fault.
I promise myself that I will learn from this but then I do the same again.
Denise, Arlington Texas
So Where Does Being A Self Sabotager Start?
Are you a self sabotager ? Of course you are going to say “No, why the hell would I want to do something that makes my situation worse”
Well you would be surprised how many people unintentionally or sometimes intentionally do things to do just that.
Breaking something in such a way that there is no way back from it, in effect freeing themselves from the issue.
Self-sabotage is the act of subconsciously or intentionally getting in your own way.
It’s not just a bad habit. It’s not just laziness or procrastination.
Being a self-sabotager is something much deeper, and it often stems from a lack of self-knowledge and awareness.
Or most commonly its when you want to get away from a situation and are unable to articulate this feeling.
As you will hear on the podcast I have done this myself to spectacular effect and looking back on it could see exactly why I did it even though i was powerless to stop.
Being A Self Sabotager is when you stand in your own way.
Self-sabotage is when you stand in your own way. It’s doing things that are not in your best interests and then feeling bad about it later.
It can happen to anyone, but if it does happen to you, be sure to notice the clues that will tell you you are leading up to this.
The word “sabotage” comes from the French word “sabots,” which refers to wooden shoes.
In 1902, workers in France wore these shoes while they were on strike and would throw them into machinery to break it down.
They didn’t want to be forced to work on something they were against so took measures to make sure it didn’t happen.
Self-sabotage happens because of conflicting goals.
You may want to do well at work, but you also want to spend time with your family.
Or you may not believe in the work that you are doing and feel conflicted by your actions even though you are being paid well for it.
Or maybe you are doing really well in life, but deep down you dont feel that you deserve it and the rewards do not justify your actions.
We really need to get into your head space and separate what you are doing against what you are receiving
Your Results Come By Other Peoples Value And Not Your Own.
Self sabotaging yourself is the easy way out of the conflict that you are feeling in your life.
I remember reading about a world famous popstar who created a fear of flying so that he didn’t have to continue touring the world.
He had got tired of the constant travel, and didn’t have the confidence to simply say, I’m not doing this anymore as he knew that people relied on him for their own livelihoods, so found another way out of his situation.
The best way to tackle the sale sabotaging that you are experiencing in your life is firstly accept that the way you see yourself has no bearing on what the world wants to give you.
That’s how your employers, or community sees you and your value is always determined by what others think you can bring to the game.
Do you think that a top footballer is worth £600,000 per week for kicking a ball…of course they aren’t.
But if they can sell more shirts with their name on, help the teams get sponsorship deals and other lucrative ventures then they are worth it.
Not for what they do, but what they can bring once again to the game.
So once again to win the game of life you really need to understand what is going on inside you to make you a self sabotager.
Try to balance it out with why you are getting the results you are getting.
If you find that you are disconnected and in conflict then little by little you could be moving towards a moment of self sabotage that can really bring things to a head.
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