Do You Have Unsupportive Friends And Family?
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Do you ever feel let down by that group of supportive friends you have in your life?
Then when it comes to your family….well i guess it’s best to not go there…right?
Perhaps you really want to feel their supportive push as you head towards your dreams, but instead you get nothing?
Well this is quite a common occurrence, in my own family and for many of my listeners too.
But why should this be?
Why do family not scream “Yay….we will be behind you all the way!”?
Well i suppose at it’s core a families job is to protect you and stop you getting into trouble.
Protecting You From Trouble and Strife
Without a doubt when you start your own online business then you will definitely get into trouble.
You have to, as it’s all new to you and those financial and time troubles will almost certainly take you over at sometime.
You can almost understand why your parents, who hopefully have spent their lives giving you advice and supporting you would be concerned.
“Why do you want to do this entrepreneurial thing?” they will ask…
“You only have to stay in that job for another 40 years and you are safe in retirement!”
They don’t get why they can’t keep you safe from harm anymore, and they want to, it’s their job.
However this post isn’t about family members it’s about your group of unsupportive friends.
They are a different case altogether and one that is quite easy to do something about as we will show you below.
Why Do You Have Unsupportive Friends?
The funny thing that occurs in life is we make friends due to convenience.
We end up in a situation where people start to stick to us with very little effort.
This is particularly true when we first start going to somewhere new like school, or a new job and we are a bit lost.
We don’t ever ask people to complete a personality test to ensure that they are the right fit for us do we?
Nah, of course we don’t.
We just allow them to enter our circle and little by little they are part of our lives.
So is there anyway that we can nip the unsupportive friends in the bud before it ever happens and we find ourselves surrounded.
Well if you can then you are a better person than I am.
However you can definitely do something about them once you realise that they are holding you back.
Why Are They Unsupportive To Our Dreams?
In a similar way to our families, our unsupportive friends act that way due to not understanding.
They can’t understand why you want to go off in a different direction to themselves.
Life is ok, nothing spectacular so why do you want to put it all at risk?
This lack of insight cannot be allowed to hinder your own march towards your dreams.
The other thing that you will find from the group of mates you have is they are busy with their own lives.
They wake up everyday and have their own issues to deal with.
Although they might secretly envy you and your spirit, you can’t expect them to power some of their own energy into you.
When The Boozy Truth Starts To Flow
Let me ask you a question, have you ever sat in a bar with someone who gets very drunk?
As the booze starts to take control they will put their arm around your shoulder and say “Love you mate, you GO FOR those dreams. You CAN make it happen buddy.”
They have got emotional because of the drink, but i consider this to be when their truth starts to flow.
This is when they throw away the realistic aspect of everything and simply tell you what they want in life.
Most of the time, wanting you to go forth and conquer your fears and your dreams.
So I don’t think they are really unsupportive, I just think they haven’t understood you very well…..it’s time for a drunk chat me thinks????
Focus Your Energies On Your Goals
A funny thing happens when you are working towards something big.
It’s a groundswell of support that arrives when you have actually achieved something.
When I started Join Up Dots, many years ago I didn’t get much support from anyone.
It wasn’t as if I had a world full of unsupportive friends at all, they just didn’t say anything to me that was supportive.
It was a strange situation.
There i was working for hour upon hour trying my hardest to get things off the ground, and all they wanted to do was leave me, or hold me back.
The Americans have a phrase for this, and that is Crabs In A Bucket.
What they mean by this, is get a bucket full of crabs and you would think that they would crawl out of the top and escape.
Actually what happens is the crabs lower down, hang onto the legs of the ones higher up and they do the same to the ones at the top.
They stop each other escaping to pastures new, even though they could all get away.
Now let’s take that back to our unsupportive friends that are acting like crabs in our own lives.
Holding on to us, and making it difficult to go in a new direction even though they could all escape.
The Crabs Let Go Finally With Success
What I have found, and every other successful person alive (and dead today) is this.
When success is guaranteed for you the crabs all let go and start telling the world
“We always knew that you had something special!”
“We have been rooting for you from the early days mate”
Why is that only when all your hard-work has been performed do the gang of unsupportive friends suddenly do a 360?
The reason is people like to attach themselves to success in the same way as they will attach themselves to failure.
They can start living their lives through what you have achieved, and perhaps find the inspiration to do the same as they can see it works.
How many Vloggers are now trying to win the YouTube battle because they have seen others win that game?
Same for podcasting, online business, public speaking, the list goes on and on.
Your friends need to find the belief that it will work, and that will only come through your hard work and effort.
Three Ways To Handle Unsupportive Friends
Dealing With Unsupportive Friends Number One:
This might be quite hard to do, as when we start something new we are so excited and want to tell the world.
When you first start any venture it is best to keep silent and work on it without telling anyone else.
Especially your Mum…..they are the worst at stomping on your dreams without knowing it.
Be very very selective on who you tell at the very beginning of your dream building.
If you trust them to support you think carefully.
If you are not sure that they will support you then think very very carefully.
Whatever you do keep those dreams as close to your chest as possible, before they can be shattered before ever becoming something great.
Dealing With Unsupportive Friends Number Two:
Be accepting that others won’t have your passion or desire to shine brightly across the world.
They will operate in the way that is right for them and nobody else.
Therefore it’s not your job to try to convince them that they need to get on-board with your vision.
It’s not your job to do anything other than get on with building that dream.
Don’t waste energy on anything else.
You have that ladder to climb and it’s going to be tough enough without anything else.
Dealing With Unsupportive Friends Number Three:
As we said previously, actually we have said the same all the way through this post.
You have energy to burn on your goals, but nothing else in life.
You have to sacrifice fun, enjoyment and work hard, hard, hard.
Therefore if you are dealing with a lot of crap from those unsupportive friends in your life then you have to cut them loose.
Don’t do it in a scaredy cat way, and text or email them, be a man (or woman)
Sit them down and tell them the reasons why it’s time to go your separate ways.
Tell them everything that you have going on, and why they are no longer part of the journey.
There maybe tears, and anger for sure.
But it’s the right thing to do to make sure your life isn’t wasted and your dreams come true.
Thank you for reading and listening to the podcast episodes we deliver.
If you are having trouble with friends and family then you have many different places to turn to, not least to us at Join Up Dots.
Drop us a line and we will get back to you as soon as possible.