Welcome To The Join Up Dots Business Coaching Podcast With Winston Clements
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Introducing Winston Clements
Winston Clements is today’s guest joining us on the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast.
A a man who is truly inspiring as you will hear due to more than the normal obstacles to overcome everyday.
However with a powerful view on the positives of life, Winston is achieving more than most will ever do.
He was born with a condition known as Brittle Bones disease.
The main symptom is bones that break very, very easily!
This disorder limited him especially during childhood because he had to undergo numerous surgeries and missed out on a lot of fun moments.
As he says “I remember the intense sense of frustration I used to feel, at having to watch from my bedroom window.
While my sisters and all the other kids in the neighbourhood played outside in the sunshine.
The turning point for me came many years later… after I had successfully graduated from University of Westminster with a degree in Computer Science.
My confidence had taken a big hit because I was struggling to find employment, unlike most of my friends.
Something needed to change!
How The Dots Started Joining Up For Winston
Winston Clements decided to stop comparing his life to other people, to stop doubting in his own abilities and to stop letting a disability define him as a person!
Breaking through the self-imposed barriers empowered him to build a successful tech career with some of the top companies in the world – and TODAY he issuing his speaking to share learnings and practical takeaways at live team events and conferences.
As he says “In today’s world stress, overwhelm and mental illness are becoming increasingly commonplace.
This isn’t helped by a society that likes to put us in boxes whether it is because of gender, disability or any other bias.
Having been born with a severe physical disability, I’ve been able to achieve many things which perhaps are not expected of people in my situation.
One big piece of advice I would love to share with your audience is around taking extreme ownership – a mindset that puts you in a far better position to achieve results as opposed to adopting a victim mentality.
Well lets get him on the show so that he can share that with all of us today.
So is it as simple as deciding to do something that makes all the difference in life?
And where does he find the daily challenges appearing most, through his general life or the opinions of others?
Well let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots with the one and only Mr.Winston Clements.
During the show we discussed such weighty subjects with Winston Clements such as:
How Winston used to have good days and bad days as a young child, and what he did to turn the majority into good.
Why Winston Clements thinks that the mental challenge is in many ways so much harder to overcome than the physical one every-time.
How he decided that he had the motivation to start earning his own money through his own passions.
We reveal how you can all become a speaker on the circuit even though it isn’t obvious what your message should be when you first start.
How To Connect With Winston Clements
Every other episode to enjoy and consume can be found at Join Up Dots Podcast Archives
Audio Transcription Of Winston Clements Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling join up dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK David Ralph
David Ralph [0:21]
Yes. Hello there. Good morning, everybody. Good morning and welcome to join up dots it’s lovely to have you here, especially the sexy attractive ones if you’re sexy and attractive. And thank you for being here. Now today’s guest is a sexy and attractive and he is also English as well, although I did assume he was American. I don’t know why. But I think I’m starting to get a glimmer why. And he joins us on the show because he’s truly inspiring a man who’s has more than a normal obstacles to overcome every day, but with a powerful view on the positives apply. He’s achieving more, but most whatever do he was born with a condition known as brittle bone disease and the main symptom is bones that break very, very easily. And this disorder limited him, especially during childhood because he had to undergo numerous surgeries and missed out on a lot of fun moments. As he says, I remember the intense sense of frustration I used to feel without having to watch from my bedroom window while my sisters and all the other kids in the neighborhood played outside in the sunshine. The turning point for me Yes, the turning point came many years later, after I had successfully graduated from University with a degree in computer science. My competence had taken a big hit because I was struggling to find employment. Unlike most of my friends and something needed to change. He decided to stop comparing his life to other people to stop doubting his own abilities, and to stop letting a disability define him as a person. And breaking through the self imposed barriers empowered him to build a successful tech career with some of the top companies in the world. And today, yesterday, he is speaking around the world to share low and practical takeaways that live team events and conferences. As he says, this is good intro it’s going on. In today’s world stress, overwhelm and mental illness are becoming increasingly commonplace. This isn’t helped by a society that likes to put us in boxes, whether it’s because of gender, disability, or any other bias haven’t been born born with a severe physical disability, I’ve been able to achieve many things which perhaps are not expected of people in my situation. One big piece of advice I would love to share with your audience is around taking Extreme Ownership and mindset that puts you in a far better position to achieve results, as opposed to adopting a victim mentality. Well, brilliant. So let’s get him on the show so that he can share that with us all today. So is it as simple as deciding to do something that makes all the difference in life? And where does he find the daily challenges appearing most through his general life? Or the opinions of others? Well, let’s find out as we bring on to the show to start join up dots with the one and only Mr. Winston Clements. Morning drinks Good. How are you sir?
Winston Clements [3:05]
I am Fantastic. Thank you so much for the amazing intro.
David Ralph [3:08]
It went on a bit, then it I actually started, I started to lose the will to live going through there. But once once I started it, you’ve got to finish having your
Winston Clements [3:17]
Yove got to. And yeah, well done for following through all the way. I say
David Ralph [3:21]
that to my wife, I say well done for following through, you started it. And so you’ve got to finish it that energy, she just runs over and goes to sleep. But wisdom, you are an inspiration. So until a couple of weeks ago, I hadn’t heard of you become a bit of an online stalker. And reason I thought you was American. And this is going to kind of pick up the Americans, but also slack off the UK. Because you’re very motivational, you’re very positive. And you’re very inspirational. So I just assumed he was American. It’s strange, because as UK guys, there’s not a lot of us like not easy way. We’ll just get in by Oh, and did the Americans have Rocky, Rocky? Let’s go through.
Winston Clements [4:09]
So are you saying that British people are not positive in their mindset?
David Ralph [4:14]
I think I think we’re not I think we are sort of the underdog, we like to just get by we like to go or okay, as long as he stays over. And the more I speak to other people around the world, but not like that as much, you’ve got to admit Winston, we are a bit half glass half empty kind of people.
Winston Clements [4:32]
I do agree, I think sometimes our energy can be a little bit low in terms of expressing ourselves. But I think we do have that we do have maybe a different way of expressing our positivity. And perhaps it’s more that you know, that quietly confident type of positivity as opposed to the American way, which is you know, super in your face, and super expressive, which, and I guess there’s a place for each type of energy.
David Ralph [4:58]
I love both of them. But right, I do want the American the gushy stuff. And you know, the kind of stuff, you know, I speak to a lot of people and they go, Oh, I was so excited to get out of bed at two o’clock in the morning to speak to you. And I think really, really o’clock in the morning, and you’re excited to speak to me, but it’s a kind of gushing enthusiasm, which you can take anywhere calling you. Because once you get that ball rolling, everything is good.
Winston Clements [5:24]
It’s true. And also, I think the reason why I’m also in favor of the sort of American or the more expressive style is, you know, when you raise your energy, with your communication with your presentation with how you speak, how you engage with other people, it’s funny what that does to you. Even from a physiological perspective, it just kind of gives you a whole, you know, uplift. And so, you know, for me, I try to keep it at that level. Because I know, if I dropped down my energy, then that can kinda translate into everything else that I did, which is not a good way either.
David Ralph [5:54]
And have you become sexier because of it? Winston? Do you think Did you think your confidence level? lose my ladies in like moths to a lamp?
Winston Clements [6:04]
I would say certainly, yes. And in fact, I think I’ve had probably a good number of social media followers since I started doing the motivational speaking. So I think it could be onto something that David
David Ralph [6:17]
you don’t you? Don’t you? You dirty little, little individual? You are Winston.
Winston Clements [6:23]
Sorry, I cannot help myself.
David Ralph [6:25]
No, none of us can. And if you if you got the ability to go that way and get it for free then went do it. That’s the that’s the perk of a job. So Winston, right, let’s get back into your sort of early life. Because for the listeners by you, they can’t see you. They can’t get a picture of you. But you’re a little chap, and you’re in a wheelchair. Are you in a wheelchair all the time? Is it? Is it sort of stuck to you? Or is it just to get around?
Winston Clements [6:52]
It’s not clear to me, but I bet majority of my time in it. So because it’s basically my my only way of mobilizing. So if I need to move from A to B, then I require use of my mind is a powered wheelchair. So you have a powered one, some people use the manual ones, which are self propelling, but mine is actually a powered one which I operate using, I guess you could call it a joystick. And yeah, you know, it’s been amazing. And because when I was younger, that had wheelchairs, which were the manual ones, but because I didn’t really have the strength to move them myself, because you know, I’m not physically able to be able to propel it, then I used to have to rely on other people to take me from A to B, which was a little bit frustrating. Because, you know, if you want to go, you know, to talk to somebody, then you have to say to your buddy, hey, do you mind pushing me over there, and that kind of thing. So it’s another it’s really cool, because I can just kind of go up to people and bother them without somebody else to assist me.
David Ralph [7:52]
I think that’s brilliant. And now you’ve got like a river suppose of attractive ladies ready to push you. You’re doing the polling, and they’re doing the pushing? Is that the way
Winston Clements [8:05]
that that is? That is exactly how I drew this up, David. So you know, now strategizing my, my wheelchair slash, you know, mobilizing strategy, then that was one of the key considerations I had in mind how to how to involve the ladies, in my in my master plan,
David Ralph [8:20]
you could be like a Bond villain, you could be sitting there stroking a cat, and taking control of the world. You’ve got it all sorted, you’ve got it all sorted. So so let’s, you know, your your early life, I can imagine sitting there looking out the window with frustration, because all the kids are running around and stuff. Did you sort of sit there? Because I think I would sit there thinking, right? You wait, so you walk past me and I’m going to trip you up? Or did you just allow it to flow past? Or did you get subdued by sort of dark, sinister thoughts? You know,
Winston Clements [8:55]
I think it’s, I think I had good days and bad days, like most people do. And I think for me, the difficulty came from the fact that I believe I’ve always been fiercely independent. And so for somebody who has such an independent way of thinking or way of wanting to do things, to them be restricted by you know, a body that doesn’t support that independence was a huge frustration for me, because I wanted to be up there. I wanted to be in the playground pushing, playing, doing all the crazy things that the other kids wanted to do. And, and so that was difficult to take, you know, especially on those days, when they were particularly cool things happening, you know, you had your your sports days, you had your days out in the pub, the swimming pool, I wanted to be a part of that. But at the time, because and especially when I was younger, the nature of my condition meant that I had to be very careful because brittle bones means that any small form of contact was potentially a bone fracture. And I don’t know if you’ve ever fractured a bone David but it’s not the most pleasant thing. And it takes a long time can’t recover from
David Ralph [10:02]
an injury at all in any way. No, no, not in anything. But I’m a member used to thinking, How can I get out of pa so you had the perfect excuse all the way through school on those rainy first days, when everyone had to do cross country or something. You could just go you know, brittle bones, brittle bones is not going to work.
Winston Clements [10:23]
Yeah, but I didn’t want the excuse of the other kids wanted the excuse. I want it to be out there.
David Ralph [10:29]
Cross Country cross country, it was terrible. You used to have to run miles and then throw up at the end because we physically weren’t conditioned for me. I bet you sat there as a smart little individual in your chair, looking at people thinking I’ve got out of this. I’ve got out of this.
Winston Clements [10:46]
I guess the grass is greener on the other side, doesn’t it? Take it? Absolutely
David Ralph [10:49]
it does. And so I I’m fascinated by everything you do, because what is I speak to so many people and they wax lyrical about how how their mindset has overcome everything. And yeah, mindset is so important. But you’re kind of double whammy not only have you got to gather up your own way, you’ve got to physically get around. And it’s not easy in even in today’s day and age where I suppose disabled access is so much easier than it was it still a bit of a sort of maze, isn’t it getting around London and getting down underground and tubes and things like that? You know, are you a double mindset expert. You know,
Winston Clements [11:30]
I never thought myself in that way. But I’m gonna go ahead and add that title to my LinkedIn
David Ralph [11:36]
badge of honor to stick it on a window with a few dots around it and our trade market.
Winston Clements [11:42]
Yeah, but uh, but you’re right, I think in terms of, you know, having, so there’s a physical side, and then there’s the mental side. But in a funny way, I often say to people that the mental side is actually more of a challenge. For me, then the physical stuff, which seems to be the obvious obstacle for people who meet me for the first time. Because in a way, the physical stuff, you know, not being able to have access to certain buildings or not being able to use staircases, or, you know, use certain types of infrastructure, because like you say, you know, even a big city like London, where I live is not particularly as well designed for wheelchair users and disabled people in general, as you might imagine, in this day and age, but the thing that makes the physical part more easier for me is because I was born with this condition, I’ve always had to adapt to, you know, buildings and, you know, physical infrastructure that was not designed with people who are different in mind.
David Ralph [12:40]
So would it be was it suddenly occurred in your 30s? Do you think,
Winston Clements [12:45]
to be a Yeah, if I was, if I was to imagine that I think you’ll be worth because in a way, it’s not like have lost anything David It’s not like I started off, you know, being able to do all this stuff, you know, run upstairs, climb mountains, you know, ride bicycles. And then all of a sudden, there was another accident, and then all of that got taken away from me, because I haven’t had those experiences that exposure from the day one, then for me, it’s just always been a case of, okay, staircase, now, I’ll just use the elevator instead. Because that’s what I’ve always done, I don’t feel any loss, or any attachment to those things. But for me, the challenging part was on the mental side, because, like you say, having that mindset of wanting to do stuff and achieve big things, having big dreams, and then looking at society and how society views or the expectations of society from somebody with my background was was difficult to accept, because, you know, I knew I wanted to be more and to do more.
David Ralph [13:41]
So when you you qualified, and you know, credit to getting through and what was it a computer science degree in computer science, and you you bounded out, or you rolled out of university ready? With your with your scroll, ready to get your job? Was he looking back on it? Was it obvious? Yes, but you were going to struggle is there, you know, a stigma attached to disabled people in that regard? I can’t imagine it that is, but just the fact that you said in your bio, you couldn’t get a job, even though most of your friends did.
Winston Clements [14:16]
Yeah, so I think there’s a couple of special circumstances, maybe. So. So one of them is probably I was a little bit naive coming out of uni. So, you know, I had a good degree. And you know, it was all you know, for people who are based in the UK, they’ll know, when you study for your undergraduate degree, everyone says get to on in a good subject. And you know, you basically have one foot in the door, when it comes to getting a graduate job. So I did that, I take that box. And so you know, after doing that kind of had it in my mind, I mean, I didn’t expect it to be super easy that I would walk in to a top company and get a job straight away. But at the same time, I didn’t expect it to take six, seven months, which is what it took, eventually. And, and then the other thing that was maybe unique around the time I graduated, so I graduated in 2009. Which I don’t know if you remember David but those they have a global financial crisis as
David Ralph [15:10]
well. I remember it well.
Winston Clements [15:13]
So yeah, so I think in that environment, it wasn’t, it was difficult for everybody to find employment or to succeed, or to progress their business in any way, shape, or form. So I had, I had a few things going maybe against any other time. And then also, you know, so I was applying for graduate jobs where there were people who had been made redundant from, you know, big companies had tons of experience, and they were applying for graduate jobs as well. So that was the level of competition that I was facing. And then with a few of the roles that I went through as well, I think there was a bit of a, maybe a higher level of hesitation than they would have been, if we have not been in a financial crisis to employing somebody with a disabled background, because it was a case of you know, there’s too many applicants for too few jobs. If I’ve got applicant, a an applicant, and one of them is disabled, then I’d rather go for the safe bet, that that’s the kind of impression that I got, when I was going, you know, through my process at the time,
David Ralph [16:15]
you should have found Stephen Hawking’s, he would get a new job. You know, you know,
Winston Clements [16:19]
funny, I had his number at the time, but you know, you live in your land, you live and you learn.
David Ralph [16:25]
So you’ve created your own economy, which is, you know, it’s difficult to do anybody that does something, and Ben gets noticed. And then I suppose, ends up on a global podcast, like join up dots so obviously doing something, right. But there’s a time when nobody’s noticing, and you’re just going around trying to get the ball rolling? How did you decide where your focus was going to be? And looking back on it? Is it a given? Is it easy for you, because of your disabilities do people then go Oh, this is even more motivational is an easier route. So,
Winston Clements [17:03]
to be honest, I never really thought about speaking that, you know, I never because my my vision, or my idea was always that I would go to uni, you know, succeed in, you know, my computer science degree, and then I would get a, an IT job or tech job with one of the bigger companies and I was taking my job for the rest of my career and retire. Happily, that was that was my, basically my simple plan. And I think that’s the plan for many other people. Because, you know, that’s, that’s a kind of, maybe from our parents generation, that’s, those are the kinds of ideas that will pass down to us, you know, get get a degree, get a job, you know, and work until retirement. But I think after, you know, so eventually, I got the job, eventually, I started to get employment in sales, some of the better organizations. And, you know, in the beginning, I felt really fulfilled, because I was enjoying it, you know, I was using my, my technical skills that I learned, and I was applying them to real business situations, I was getting the promotion, the pay rises, which, you know, is basically exactly how a dream career in the corporate world should go. But I think it got to a point when after, after doing this for a few years, David I started to feel like it just became a bit monotonous and repetitive for me. And I just started to feel like I had a bit more to give. And you know, there might be people listening to this, who maybe are working in a job, and not necessarily a job that they hate. Because, you know, it doesn’t have to be that extreme. But it could just be a case of you just feel like you’re going through the motions, or you have more to give. And so when I got to that stage, that’s when I started thinking, what else could I do? You know, outside because I was basically living in this corporate bubble of just going to work Monday to Friday weekend, chilling out with a few friends and then doing it all again, like what else could that add to my routine to kind of to kind of show me a different, a different side of myself. And that’s when I started exploring the public speaking,
David Ralph [19:00]
I would have got my own vehicle Uber driver, I would have been an Uber driver, If I was you, Winston. You know,
Winston Clements [19:08]
that’s not a bad idea. And I use Uber a lot. And you know, they they seem like really good guys, and always struck up a really good organization, although sometimes you might not be in the mood to chat. And you get the one Uber driver who just won’t leave you alone.
David Ralph [19:24]
I just want to be on your lap, I want to be on your lap, middling with the joystick moving through waving at the ladies. That’s what I want to do you see, you’ve missed out on that career winning stream, you would be the best Uber driver in the world.
Winston Clements [19:37]
And I do drive a car as well as a specialist at the college I drive around. And so it’s not too late David maybe all I need to do is get a life event and make this happen. You know,
David Ralph [19:48]
I don’t understand Uber at all I do. It’s a it’s a business. I don’t understand why I would want to get into cars. Accounting did not recognize they’re just like, it’s like getting into a stranger’s car. Why would you?
Winston Clements [20:02]
Well, you mean as a passenger or as a driver,
David Ralph [20:04]
or just as a passenger? I can’t pause. I’ve never seen it before. And I just sort of jump in and say take me somewhere and they could take me to like, like an underground basement. And then you know, lock me and you got no idea of you
Winston Clements [20:17]
know, but you you you book the trip, right there’s there’s an Uber app that you have on your phone, and you say I want to go to Buckingham Palace, and it looks for all the drivers nearby. somebody picks up the job, and you tell them where you are and they come and collect you. So you can verify that the person who you booked on the app is the same person that helps to collect you because it shows you the name and the registration and stuff so it’s very secure.
David Ralph [20:42]
Well, I will tell you a very quick story about my daughter coming out of a nightclub bit drunk, walked an Uber looked at a number plate. last two digits were the same but the rest wasn’t. And she got in and got taken off by this guy. And had to sort of jump out God knows what was happening. But then a she was drunk. She was drunk. So I don’t want to frighten off anyone jumping into an Uber. But if you see Winston roading past, you just jump on his lap, and then take control and then you’ll be safe. That’s what we’re going to do Winston.
Winston Clements [21:14]
Yeah, and the big takeaway here is always compare the entire number plate, not just the last two digits.
David Ralph [21:20]
I like the fact that you didn’t go with the don’t get drunk that the big. The big part for you was compare the number plate is take place kids drink heavily have one night stands, be safe, check the last digits of a number play.
Winston Clements [21:35]
Exactly, hey, I’m not here to tell anybody how to live their life, I just want you to get holding one piece.
David Ralph [21:40]
It’s like a public health notice, isn’t it? You know, if this is this one podcast should be actually helping people to change their lives. So So Winston with yourself again? How did you? You know, I asked the same question with most people, you get an idea. You want to start getting into the motivational speaking. But do you sit at home? You know, emailing people going, I want to do a talk? Or do you manage to get a TED talk? First of all, which then you slap on all over the place? How do you get the speaking business going?
Winston Clements [22:13]
So speaking business, is it. It’s such a, it’s such an organic thing. And you know, I’ve spoken to so many different speakers now, because they’re becoming a big part of my network. And almost there’s there’s no two speakers who have gone into speaking in exactly the same way. Because I often get questions from different people, you know, friends, you know, associates, say, you know, I’m actually interested in doing a bit of public speaking. And maybe even some of the people listening to this now might be a bit interested in public speaking. And so it’s like wisdom, give me the three step action plan to get into public speaking, honestly, that there is no one way of doing it, you just have to literally put out a lot of stuff. But just to kind of give you a quick brief of how I did it. So the first thing that I did was I was actually working with a coach at the time and he wasn’t so much a speaking coach, he was actually helping me with productivity coaching, because I was looking to to become more for like, I was wasting a lot of time procrastination, which is, you know, a whole nother topic. And I’m sure many people will relate to that. And so he was helping me put systems in place to be more productive. And while I was working with him, I started saying to him, Hey, you know, I’m still feeling unfulfilled, you know, even though I feel like I’m becoming more efficient, more productive with my corporate job, what I really want to do is explore on and on how I can go from doing my public speaking as a hobby into actually turning it into something that resembles a business. And he said, okay, and he said, so where do you see yourself in five years, and then I said, you know, in five years out of out of hope to have done, you know, some speaking gigs, a few speaking gigs and maybe even booked at TEDx, you know, that will be amazing to do a TED talk.
David Ralph [23:59]
You mentioned join up dots at a time did you mention join up dots and so you know, as well?
Winston Clements [24:03]
Yes. And also join up dots because that’s a critical part of my my strategy, essentially,
David Ralph [24:09]
essential lying to me at the moment, Winston?
Winston Clements [24:12]
I do have my fingers crossed. And,
and yeah, so so so he threw me a challenge. He said to me, okay, so the TEDx sounds like an interesting thing. But why does it have to wait five years. And which kind of stopped me in my tracks, because I didn’t really have a good reason as to why I had to wait so long. And he said, You know what, just just put it out there, send a few find out what the process is, send a few requests and see, see what comes back. And that’s exactly what I did. So I reached out within my network with to a bunch of people who knew about TEDx and organizing TEDx raise and, you know, cut a long story short, eventually, I got invited to do one. And as you kind of implied that at the start of this question, I literally as soon as that TEDx was filmed in available, YouTube, I just promoted that so much, put it on my website, share it on social media. And then I started to get inquiries from various people to come over, you know, to their events, to their organizations, and share some of the messages that are shared as part of my TEDx talk.
David Ralph [25:15]
It’s interesting, all the speaking stuff, because for years, I used to stand up on stage talking and doing presentations, but it was learn a subject and then tell people about it. Now, when you actually stand up, a lot of people go, Yeah, I’d like to be a public speaker, I’d like to be on the circuit. I haven’t got anything to talk about, I need some, they almost need that life experience. So did you know what you were going to talk about at that time? Did you go Yeah, this is what I’m going to do. This is my join up dots story, but is going to album? Or has it developed over sort of a meandering period into something more defined?
Winston Clements [25:52]
I think I think it’s, it’s evolved. And I think it will continue to evolve, I think initially, so the obvious one for me is, so I went into it thinking, you know, I’ve got a bit of a different story and a different background to most people. And so my initial idea was, Why don’t I share some of my, my lessons from the things that I’ve had to overcome, because of my, my physical stuff that I’ve had to go through. So that was my initial thinking. And also, this stems from the fact that, you know, I’m one of those people David as you can imagine, you know, I’m very social, you know, I’m out there, you know, rolling around London in Uber’s, or, or, you know, on the street, you know, talking to various people and, you know, various women that I bumped into, and, you know, people are often interested in my story, they want to, they want to, for example, they want to know, you know, how is it that I’m able to drive a car? How is it that I get to travel to different parts of the country when it was for my corporate job, and now, you know, for the public speaking, so they’re curious, because it’s not often perhaps, that you see people who looked like me doing the kind of things that I do, I mean, I’m sure there are others, but I don’t think it’s a common problem, love to see. And, you know, so basically, I wanted to take those conversations from one to one, you know, in the street with with one person at a time, you know, sharing my story to be able to share those, those experiences with audiences with groups and, and leading to the point that, you know, if Winston, you know, this little guy in a wheelchair, you know, rolling around in his joystick or his
David Ralph [27:24]
just to get that picture, how tall are you?
Winston Clements [27:26]
So I’m probably I’m probably under four feet tall.
David Ralph [27:31]
Now, you’re smarter than that I’ve seen I’ve seen videos of you. I’ve been four feet. And you because my 10. And you you look tiny compared to her?
Winston Clements [27:41]
Yeah, you know, I hadn’t actually measured myself. So this is like a finger in the air guess. But I believe I’m somewhere between three and a half filled for probably more than three and a half side. So you know that?
David Ralph [27:52]
So if we keep on talking for the next hour, you’re going to be about two foot.
Winston Clements [27:58]
three inches? It
David Ralph [28:02]
between three inches and four feet?
Winston Clements [28:05]
Three and a half feet and four feet? Yeah,
Unknown Speaker [28:08]
David Ralph [28:10]
Over the three inches, I’ve seen you. So we’ve all that. And you’ve got that as well. And I’ll tell you one of the things that always surprises me. I remember back in the day, I spoke to a lady called Jessica Cox. And she was the first lady without any arms to fly an airplane. And she got a pilot’s license. And I remember I was fascinated with her telling me how she would put on lace up shoes without any arms. And I couldn’t get my head round. And I remember saying to her, why don’t you just wear slip ons? You know, slip on the so much easier. Why do you do this? And she seemed to want to challenge yourself to stop that I would go the easy route. The do you do that? Do you look for things were actually his devices, or there’s mechanisms or something to make life easier. But you you want to do it? Because it’s the small challenges that build up into the big ones? Okay, that
Winston Clements [29:05]
that’s a really good question. And I think
David Ralph [29:07]
it was done. I’m a professional Don’t you know?
Winston Clements [29:12]
I can see why they pay you so much David
so yeah, yeah, no, that’s an amazing, amazing question, because, and I think I’ve had a similar mindset. And I think that mindset for me, it came from, probably from my parents. So from a young age, you know, my parents had had a choice, when when, when I became of school age, they had a choice of whether to send me to a special school with other handicapped kids, or to semi to a mainstream school, where I would probably be one of very few, and definitely, probably the only one with my level of, you know, sort of disability within the whole scope. And they decided to send me to a mainstream school. And I think the thinking there was that they just wanted me to be exposed to as much of a normal lifestyle, you know, however you define normal to be supposed to the real world, from an early age as much as possible. And I think what that’s translated into is the fact that, you know, even now, you know, like your friend, I find myself you know, not, not even considering that, you know, the easy option, I just tend to go with what anybody else would do in a given situation. So to give you an example, I live alone, so I live in an apartment by myself, and a lot of people you know, when when I tell them, I live alone, they asked me, so you must have the most high tech apartment in the world, they must be full of devices, you know, a robot that does this for you and all then that cooks and cleans and bring it to the table for you. It’s just
David Ralph [30:42]
isn’t it really is just full of women doing what you want?
Winston Clements [30:49]
Well, it’s all automation David you know.
David Ralph [30:53]
You can call it anything you want, but you’re using your bad powers. I know.
Winston Clements [30:58]
Like I said, at the beginning, I just calling out myself, it’s who I am being authentic Daisy.
David Ralph [31:04]
With this flatline, for example, you and apartment, instantly, I would think ground floor, ground floor a but that doesn’t bother you, even you, you’ve got to wait for lifts and stuff all the time.
Winston Clements [31:17]
So okay, the only thing that that I have would, that will probably be seen as expected is that I’m on the ground floor. Oh, man, okay. So that’s the only one that kind of check. So but what as soon as you come into my apartment, it’s literally you know, all the work tops, all the appliances, the fridge, you know, all the cupboards in the kitchen, which I’m looking at right now, everything is a ridiculously high level for somebody who is three inches tall. So, you know, I’ve sort of kept it that way. Because I just find ways of getting to what I need to get, you know, doing what I need to do, because I’m not going to starve to death. So I have to find a way of living and of, you know, using the bathroom of using the kitchen or, you know, turning the telly on turning the washing machine on, you know, otherwise, I’m just not going to be able to function in this apartment. But I think that stems from the exposure that I had, from an early age to just getting on with things and not asking, you know, or not even considering that maybe I should have this, you know, designed or recreated in a way that much easier for me, which there’s nothing wrong with that. By the way, it’s just never been my approach from the first day.
David Ralph [32:25]
So so just so I can get it in my head because I’m struggling with this. But you can actually jump out of your wheelchair and sort of run around a bit, can you?
Winston Clements [32:34]
So I think that that might be pushing it. But
David Ralph [32:38]
I’m wondering how you open a fridge door if you’re in a wheelchair, how do you get the door past the wheelchair, I’m struggling with things like that.
Winston Clements [32:46]
That’s the easy part David was no
David Ralph [32:48]
I saw you in a wheelchair, it’s going to be banging on the wheels all the time. So you push yourself away and then you can’t reach into the fridge now.
Winston Clements [32:57]
It’s about timing David so you, you literally pull the door. And at the same time I remember my my wheelchair is powered right. So I’m reversing it back and I give I give the door just enough of a pole. So that it allows me enough time to then move out of the way of the door and position myself back in the refrigerator wants to do has position once a door has opened, you know, following my initial pool, if that makes sense. So I gave it a yank the door starts to pull itself back. And then at the same time I’m maneuvering my chair to get out of the way of the door, so that I can then position myself to access the fridge.
David Ralph [33:34]
Oh, it’s a lot of hassle in there. I think I’d order takeaways. I won’t go anywhere near a fridge, I just able to stay in the side of the kitchen, I would just reach out and sort of milk every time I want a cup of tea.
Winston Clements [33:48]
It’s actually sad. Now that I’ve never had to describe that action before actually. But it actually sounds a lot more complicated than it is. And I think once you do something like every day, because I guess you need to use the fridge every day if you’re gonna live, then it just becomes second nature. I don’t even think about you know, how actually get the fridge open because it just happens automatically and seamlessly David
David Ralph [34:14]
my fridge exploded last night. I think something went off in there. It’s a joke, Winston, it’s a joke. 3g exploded, or something went up in there. Winston, you know, it’s gonna attract women, if you leave your sense of humor behind you behind everything. I’m sorry,
Winston Clements [34:35]
I’m one of those guys that tries to really engage.
David Ralph [34:40]
I’ve had about five good jokes in this this show. And I haven’t gone with him because it deep in my heart. I felt embarrassed. I wanted to raise myself to your level of professionalism. And so I’ve left them behind. But yeah, you can have that one, you can have the one and I’ll tell you why it will make you more attractive to people. Right? Let’s play some motivational words, then we can delve back into Winston’s life, you know,
Unknown Speaker [35:02]
nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit. And keep moving forward, how much you can take it keep moving forward. That’s how we did it start.
David Ralph [35:18]
I think you’re an inspiration. Winston, I think you’re tough little chap. And I think that you have taken more than most people I know, could take without being a victim. You’re laughing, you’re happy, you’re positive, you’re creating an amazing life for yourself. Are you actually surprised at how tough you are? Or has the toughness come just because you’ve been sort of punched every single day since you were born.
Winston Clements [35:48]
I don’t see myself as tougher than anybody else. And in fact, as you see myself as having had a really good life. And so a lot of the time it kind of sets me back or that always surprises me when people because many people have these assumptions right that because you’re disabled or because you come from a particular background or your your your finances or you belong to a particular you know, Financial Group of grouping or whatever that they assume that you you because of those classifications, you must not be you must have had a good life, you must not be able to have experienced happiness. But honestly, I’ve had a really good life David and I continue to do so. And
David Ralph [36:31]
I don’t dispute that Winston, but you know you’re having a wonderful life, because you’re making it be wonderful. You’re seeing the miracles every day, you know, just from talking to you, I instantly would get rid of my fridge instantly, I would just it’s too much hassle. And so you don’t have that you you are looking, as I say the miracles in life, and you’re finding them that’s why your life’s wonderful.
Winston Clements [36:57]
Yeah. And yeah, thank you for saying that. I think I think one of the topics that I talk about some so now that I’m doing, I’m speaking a lot within organizations, one of the topics that they like me to, to speak about and is becoming a specialist topic for me is resilience. And when I speak about resilience, it’s you know, the ability to not just keep going, but actually enjoy the challenges that life presents to you. And I think these are applicable to everybody, not just people who are disabled, or people who, you know, have grown up with a certain type of background. And for me, it’s a case of, you know, learning to actually enjoy obstacles, because you don’t see an obstacle or something that is crushing you or is making you fail. But in fact, you see something that once you get through it, it actually makes you a stronger, and a better version of yourself. So if you can embrace that mindset, you know, going back to the fridge analogy, you know, the fridge is it’s not an obstacle for me, you know that opening that door or reaching in for my food, it’s not an option that shouldn’t defeat me.
David Ralph [38:01]
What about the monitoring, right? And the bag right slipped right to the bank.
Winston Clements [38:05]
That is the that that is a that’s a showstopper, isn’t it? It is a showstopper.
David Ralph [38:09]
We’ve all got stuff in our fridge that we you know, I can’t be bothered to bend down to the lowest part and service stuff in there that we probably should have been from now in the 80s. And it’s you know, it’s still there is everything’s an obstacle.
Winston Clements [38:26]
Yeah, but now there’s even a solution for that David because I have a grabber. So you know, one of those, like long handle grabbers, I use that and I can reach in to places which are either too high or too far for me to reach my hand. And I can then grab that Marjorie know, grab that tomato from 1995 and make a sandwich.
David Ralph [38:48]
And you could pinch ladies bottoms in pumps and being see somebody else get the blame for it, you just reach down with the grabber. And then they turn around your four feet away, be brilliant,
Winston Clements [38:59]
at four feet, and then I can actually play a knight in shining armor and you know, go and protect the lady. This is genius.
David Ralph [39:05]
This is genius. We all need joy. For years, I’ve been trying to seduce people by my looks and my physical prowess. And all I need to do is be the knight in shining armor that comes in two seconds afterwards, because I have actually committed the climb. That is brilliant. You are a genius.
Winston Clements [39:25]
And I you know I if you if you and the listeners don’t take anything else away from this, then one thing.
David Ralph [39:31]
This is your TEDx talk. This you won’t even be TEDx, this will be Ted. Yeah. How to get laid easily. If you’re only three and a half feet tall. This is what you want to do.
Winston Clements [39:44]
I could I could see that going viral. Actually, now that you mention it,
David Ralph [39:47]
I think he would download it three times and watch it. I’m a lot older than that. So what we’re gonna do, we’re bringing the show to an end, I don’t want this show to end on wanting to go on forever and a day, but I’m sure you’ve got busy things in your life. So let’s hear the words from the late Steve Jobs. He said he’s back in 2005. That became the whole theme of join up dots areas Steve Jobs
Steve Jobs [40:09]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. And that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [40:44]
So do you think that you’re creating your dots? Or do you think that your dots have actually been lined out for you? Right, from the early stages?
Winston Clements [40:52]
Wow, that’s a deep question. So
I think I would probably lean more to the, to the, to the thinking that I’m creating, or I’m in charge of my own destiny. Because although I do believe you know, and there might be listeners who believe in God, or the universe, or some other kind of higher power, which which which I subscribe to as well, I still believe that, although there might be things that are fate for you. So for example, I believe that it was probably my fate to somehow share my message, you know, whether it happened through speaking or through being on this podcast, or TED talk or any other platform, you know, that those the details were for me to sort of define. But the overall mission, I believe, has always been there for me to go and do my speaking. So. So I guess what I’m trying to say it’s a bit of both, you know, there’s things are, I believe will fade for me and might be for listeners, I bother the way you make it happen, you have to be open and you have to be willing to try different things to see how that dream how that that vision that you have to make that fate become a reality.
How you define that is up to you.
David Ralph [42:05]
Do you enjoy the speaking. And I know there’s going to be times when you stand up in front of a crowd, and it’s just flat and they don’t seem to respond to anything you say him and other times everything wise, you know, I know how public speaking goes, Did you enjoy it?
Winston Clements [42:19]
I love it. I love public speaking and even you know even in those those audiences, which, for example, I was asked to, to a group of accountants who are not known as the most exciting people in the world are the most high energy people in the world. And, and they were British accountants as well as
David Ralph [42:37]
Oh, that’s terrible. That is a terrible scenario. And don’t tell me you did them just straight off the lunch.
Winston Clements [42:43]
It was actually the closing act. But the worst thing was that straight after me, there’s going to be a drinks reception, which I think everyone’s really looking forward to. And so it’s literally a good way for me to get off the stage so they could do and how they
David Ralph [42:59]
don’t, don’t go any questions just sit on your hands guys will be out of here as soon as we can.
Winston Clements [43:06]
Yeah, it was a very, very brief q&a, let’s say, for but to be honest, like I always say to people, that was actually one of my most favorite gigs. Because I had such a good time on stage. You know, even though I was primarily having a good time on my own. But
David Ralph [43:25]
I do that every night, I have I have good times on my own every night.
Winston Clements [43:30]
And me, but you know, this is this an amazing time. And for me that the satisfaction comes from, you know, all the work that I’ve done to prepare, you know, to prepare the message to share with this group, and also from the fact that I believe that what I’m sharing are lessons that everybody can apply. And as a speaker, I think you also have to be have the mindset that it’s not about you, you have to take the ego out of it when you go on the stage. So you’re there to give, you know, if people last laughs at your jokes or respond positively to you, then fantastic, we all want that. But at the same time, you know, if you’re sending a message, and people are looking at you with crossed arms, and you know, glossing over at the buffet that’s being laid out, or the drinks reception, then, you know, it’s it’s still your responsibility to bring your A game to that stage. And for me when I’m able to do that, then I’ve had I’ve had a whale of a time, despite whatever response on my cap,
David Ralph [44:27]
I can’t believe that you don’t bring your A game into everything you do.
Winston Clements [44:32]
Thank you, sir. I feel like we could be friends after this.
David Ralph [44:35]
I think we could be moving this. I think we could be lovers, Winston, I think I think next how much we’ve gone?
Winston Clements [44:43]
Well, you know, I’ll get your details after the show.
David Ralph [44:46]
It was the full of fiddling around with your joystick back in the day. I think that’s what got me going. So
Winston Clements [44:52]
I got many people.
David Ralph [44:56]
I’m sure you guys I’m sure. Well, let’s let’s get cracking professionalism. And let’s bring this show to an end. Because this is a bit that we’ve been building up to the bit that we call the Sermon on the mic, when I’m going to send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back in time and speak to the young Winston, what age would you choose him? What advice would you like to give him? Well, we’re going to find out because we’re going to play the music. And when it finds your lap, this is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [45:30]
With the best.
Winston Clements [45:47]
Yeah, so if I could go back in time, I’ll probably go back to when I was around, probably be around 1212 years old. And this this was a quite a challenging time. For me, because this was a time when I was I was in school. And you know, I was I was actually finding it a little bit difficult to fit in. Because, you know, I was also that age where people are starting to it was becoming a bit of a popularity contest, you know, people are starting to, to pair up, you know, people are starting to date with each other. And, you know, this was a, I think I had a bit of a wobble here because I started to question myself, when I compared myself to my friends to people in my classes to even comparing myself to to the things that I wanted to achieve in future. I think this was a time when I started to think is it going to be possible for me to for example, have a girlfriend in school, like all the other dudes, you know, that play sports, or is it going to be possible for me to, you know, eventually, you know, get a job, you know, and, and make loads of money, because I didn’t really have many other role models that I knew of who look like me. And of course, there’s many of them. Now, you know, we have access to a lot more information than perhaps I did, you know, 20 years ago. And so I guess my big piece of advice, because I did struggle with these things and, and it was a bit of a dark time for me and perhaps, you know, the listeners, somebody listening might be, might be having those kind of limitations thinking, you know, compared to where I am today, or compared to how I feel right now, is there any possible path that I can, I can create, to achieve my goals, to achieve my dreams to achieve the success of the vision that that that I picture every night when I go to sleep. And the big thing that I would like to I would have liked to share with myself would be around this idea of taking Extreme Ownership of my life and and just to explain it a little bit. So Extreme Ownership means the fact that we get to control our destiny and not let our our our future plans our goals or successes be dictated by a society that is constantly trying to put us in boxes, you know, society that says if you’re if you’re from background, a van This is as far as you can go in life. And if you form background be then you know, you have more of a chance of succeeding in life. You know, so, Extreme Ownership says you you get to define your own success, you get to define whatever it is that you want to create. And, you know what, however, this unfolds, again, going back to embracing, you know, accepting that there are things that might be there might be written in the stars for you, for example, for maybe public speaking for you, it might be you know, whatever passion that you might have, it could be quitting your corporate job and going travelling, it could be you know, starting your own business, you know, that might be written for you in the stars, but extreme taking this mentality of Extreme Ownership means you have to be open to the idea that how this unfolds is is is up to you to show a massive level of action and through food and be willing to try many different things just like ours. Luckily Tesla I did when I started my speaking, you know trying for the TEDx is trying for speaking for various small organizations and Taylor started to become noticed, say, mommy for you to put yourself out there in a different in many different ways. And this is something that I would have liked myself to know, when I was younger, because I think I was of the mentality that, you know, I had to do everything in the same way that I saw other people in society doing it. So you know, I had to, you know, because I because I wasn’t seeing people who look like me doing the stuff that I wanted to do, then I started to close off those avenues. But I’m hoping that if I had shared this idea of Extreme Ownership and I’m hoping that for anybody listening now, you know, you’ll embrace this and step out of the comfort zone, be prepared to try things be prepared to accept or take on failure as a form of feedback that allows you to refine and bring you one step closer ultimate goal and I hope that is super super useful to somebody who’s listening to this right now
David Ralph [50:06]
are super useful and I hope you play that bit back I know play the whole show back and listen to it’s good for downloads but particularly about bit where so what’s the number one best way that our audience can connect with you sir
Winston Clements [50:19]
thank you David the number one best way would definitely be my website which hopefully we can have in the show notes but it’s Winston Clemens calm and on that website it’s got all my social media links it’s got a few videos of me speaking and yet you know if anything has resonated with someone listening to this right now then for sure connect with me in whichever way you feel appropriate and drop me a message I’d love to continue the conversation and hopefully we can do this again at some point David
David Ralph [50:51]
absolutely yeah as I as I say to all the guests but particularly user thank you so much for spending time with us today joining up those dots and please come back again we you got more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures Winston Thank you so much.
Winston Clements [51:09]
Appreciate your time David
David Ralph [51:13]
Mr. Winston Clemens. Yes, somewhere between three and a half inches and 15 feet tall, no idea about an inspiration and he’s a big beating heart showing us over if you’ve got an obstacle in your way just blast past it or just get past it just move past it. It blows me away when people say I can’t do something I can’t do this and I can’t do that and they will throw out all the the perfect reasons in the world. But ultimately it comes down to they don’t want to do it because if I did they more often than not would get past I’m not just saying that because it’s a it’s podcast time. I totally believe that if you really want to do something and you are willing to work at it and go out and do it just like Winston has and if you ever do go around he’s up Hartman find out if he makes the tea or if he’s got a certain manner because I still not sure about the fridge business. Until next time Look after yourselves one and all thank you so much for being here. At join up dots and I will see you again soon. Look after yourself. Yes, bye bye
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become so he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to join up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on join up dots.