Welcome To the Join Up Dots Podcast with Lily Kreitinger
Introducing Lily Kreitinger
Lily Kreitinger is a lovely lady who first came to my attention as a listener and friend and colleague of several other guests who have appeared on Join Up Dots who waxed lyrical about her.
Starting her journey in Mexico she lived across the border until coming to America in 2004, and since then has developed as a professional content designer, helping organizations and individuals align their business goals with their content and learning strategies so they can focus on growing their business.
She develops the structure that allows companies to strengthen from within.
But its not just organisations that love her, as she also has the skills to help us all break free from the shackles that hold us back, as she works with individuals to redesign their own lives too.
How The Dots Joined Up For Lily
She knows what it takes to take stock on what has happened in your past, to move forward into the future, as she has come to many conclusions about her own upbringing that has made her who she is today, some good, some bad.
Her parents were not what she would have wanted.
But realising that growing up in, as she says “a dysfunctional family” was not going to define the choices that were hers to make, has been simply life changing.
In short she is rocking and rolling, loving her life, and being really authentic to herself and now making brave decisions every day.
So its with delight that I bring onto the show to start joining up dots, with the one and only Lily Kreitinger
During the show we discussed such weighty topics with Lily Kreitinger such as:
How her life changed 360 degrees on the 14th April 2014 when she undertook a 20 hours Life Plan.
Why she realised that she was stuck in a rut and needed to show her kids that Mum could be happy.
How she would have never left Mexico if life hadn’t had a few arrows from Cupid thrown her way.
Why life is never a straight line and we all have to accept a different path than we often would like to be on.
Why she tries to find her passion in everything, and be stellar in everything she does.
Connect With Lily Kreitinger
You can also check our extensive podcast archive by clicking here– enjoy
Full Transcription Of Lily Kreitinger Interview
When we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling. Join Up Dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK, David Ralph.
David Ralph [0:26]
Yes, hello there, everybody and welcome to Episode 262 of Join Up Dots. I know I was with you yesterday, and I was with you the day before. But actually I haven’t recorded a show for nearly two weeks. So it all feels a bit rusty and I’m not sure what buttons I should be pressing to do the right stuff. But hopefully Today’s guest is a lovely lady. I know she’s a lovely lady, and she’s going to ease it through and she’s going to make it very easy for me to deliver a show because he is a lovely lady who first came to my attention as a listener And friend and colleague of several other guests who have appeared on Join Up Dots who wax lyrical about her. Starting a journey in Mexico. She lived across the border until coming to America in 2004. And since then has developed as a professional content designer, helping organisations and individuals align their business goals with their content and learning strategies so they can focus on growing their business. She develops the structure that allows companies to strengthen from within, but it’s not just organisations that lover and she also has the skills to help us all break free from the shackles that hold us back. She works with individuals to redesign their own lives to she knows what it takes to take stock of what has happened in your past to move forward into the future. And she’s come to many conclusions about alone upbringing that has made her who she is today some good some bad parents were not what she would have wanted. But realising that growing up in as she says a dysfunctional family was not going to define the choices that were hers to make. It has been simply life changing. She’s rocking and rolling, loving life and being really authentic to herself and now making brave decisions every day. So it’s with the line that I bring onto the show to start Join Up Dots with the one and only Lily Krietinger. How are you?
Lily Kreitinger [2:13]
I’m doing fantastic David, thank you for that intro That was awesome. You always amaze me with your research skills. I don’t know where you get the stuff. Well, I do know where you get, but you join it up so beautifully. Thank you for that.
David Ralph [2:25]
That is very kind of you and I do apologise I’m so eager to get going after being being in a cupboard locked away for two weeks that I talk to you which you should never do with a woman should do you should always let her say her piece first. So I apologise to you it just my nervous energy because I it feels a bit rusty to me.
Lily Kreitinger [2:45]
You’re doing fine after 260 some episodes that ain’t you got this down.
David Ralph [2:49]
I have I have a nice 262 episodes. I’m looking at it actually and but I’m actually going to tell you something that is in my head at the moment but I might transition the show At the moment, I’m going seven days a week. And I’m getting a lot of feedback from people who say that there’s so much content coming out, they can’t keep up with it. I’m pondering whether I should transition to maybe three times a week, or drop off the weekend shows or whatever to give people a couple of days for each show. What do you think about that, Lily? As I say, it’s just a cone? Yeah.
Lily Kreitinger [3:23]
I think that’s common. And I’ve heard it from other podcasters that they start strong and every day and there’s, I think a few people that can sustain that level. What I like about your show is that you can almost pick and choose which ones you want to listen to. And at least this for me, I would go through the guest list and say, Oh, this sounds really interesting. I’ll pick that one. I listened to that one. But I think it’s there’s so much great content out there from a lot of people that it is really hard to keep up.
David Ralph [3:49]
It is funny, though, isn’t it when you do that, and you sort of go up and down the list and I do that as well as a podcast listener. You look for certain people that you think are going to be interesting. What I found doing this show is sometimes the people that are coming on the show that I don’t really have a real connection to absolutely wow me because I just didn’t expect them to be that kind of person. Do you find that generally in your life when you’re dealing with people redesigning their lives? Are there some people that you think this is going to be a difficult job, but absolutely blow you away by their positivity and enthusiasm for the task?
Lily Kreitinger [4:26]
Yes, definitely. I’ve found that to be true.
David Ralph [4:29]
Why are people like that, but then need you to help because that was a question that was in my head as I was reading an introduction. There are people out there that almost seem prime to change their life and go forward to a bright new future, but they still need help to kind of redefine that path. Why Why do you think that is? Why do you think people that aren’t quite obviously ready to change still need to help?
Lily Kreitinger [4:54]
I think I can talk from my own experience, I guess, and I think it just gets to a point in your life where you decide that you don’t want things to stay the same way. And that you need to take some action to do it. And I’ve read there’s different statistics and I probably won’t quote the wrong number. But let’s say it’s 30% of people who are interested in personal growth. I’ve heard up to 25% of people are interested in personal growth or growing their professional career or strengthening their marriage or being better parents. I think it’s not available to everybody just because people don’t think that they can have a different life than what they have today. So they are sometimes life changing events, like you read about an accident or the solution of a marriage or a diagnosis, some health diagnosis that cause people to say, wow, I really need to think my priorities and define what my life looks like again, but I find that it’s that turning point or life changing event that forces you to go In that direction. But if it were not for that people in general are used to just coasting through life and getting through the next day and the next week and catching the next thing rather than getting ahead of that.
David Ralph [6:12]
Now I have conversations with people and when they are talking about, as you say, about life changing thing that it’s forced on them, either in a car accident, or they fall off a mountain and they break their leg and they’re hanging there for three days before they get rescued. And I have time to ponder that line. Although it’s dramatically horrible. In many ways, I kind of feel that that’s what we all need. We need that that nastiness actually forces to start taking action and moving forward. And because we are generally in a comfort zone and we just plod along from day to day. I hear a lot of stories and I don’t want to experience it but I kind of think is it easier to change when you’ve had that? Is it easier to move forward because you are moving away from that pain? Full situation you’ve been in,
Lily Kreitinger [7:01]
I think it’s just you have no alternative at that point. But I have a firm belief in you don’t have to hit that low point in your life to take take the steps to change direction. And a good example is Matt ham, who you’ve had on your show, with this book redefine rich. And what Matt says is I have not discovered the cure for cancer. I have not done anything that is outstanding in my life. I’m just a dad, and a husband and a business owner. And I found that I had the story to share. So I think Matt story is so relatable because of that, because he’s just an everyday person like the rest of us trying to get the best out of life. And he found that, well, what if I write a book? What if I change my story and other people’s stories through inspiration from what I have learned up to this point in my life, and I think that’s how he feels. That’s what he shares in the book is I didn’t feel I had almost That authority to put myself out there as an author and say, this is something that you need to inspire your life. But I think it’s true. It doesn’t have to be that you’re falling off the cliff. And on the way down, you’re thinking, oh, wow, this is going to be a problem. How am I going to survive? It doesn’t have to get to that point. And I think that’s kind of my message. Moving forward in my own professional personal path, is you can heal your past, you can own your present and you can change your future without having to face a life threatening situation.
David Ralph [8:33]
When did you come to that realisation obviously, well, in the intro, we were talking about your up bringing, and I read a very open and honest blog post that you wrote about your family and how you realised that it wasn’t a good fit for you somehow you you needed to move away from that to grow. When did you come to that realisation but you could create a future by dictating your prison,
Lily Kreitinger [9:00]
I can tell you it was April 14 2014. And it was probably four o’clock in the morning around that time. And the situation was I was going through a process called life plan, which is a two day session with a facilitator. It was spot 20 hours. And my facilitator is Chris kurta, which who has also been on your show. And what the process does is it lays out what the events in your life have been who has shaped that has shaped who you are today. And then you look at those and you start analysing patterns and trends and your life and messages that life has given you throughout those events and that have shaped the person you are today. So honestly, I went into the process because I trust Chris and I have followed him online and we’ve become online friends over the past three years. And I trust what he does. And he had promoted the service now that he’s offering his business with a life plan and business coaching. So I thought, Well, probably it is something helpful to look at your life and, and identify things that you can do better. And I went under almost like shaking that magic eight ball, trying to decide whether or not I should start my own business. And that’s really the main question that I had. I did a few worksheets before I went to the session, and I read a book before I went to the session, and I tried to work on my own as far as I could get. But I had no idea what was going to come out of that process. And what came out like within the first probably hour of talking to Chris was Okay, tell me about those turning points in your life and why were they so impactful? And why did they change the direction of your path? So I started talking about going to bilingual school when I was in fourth grade and then I start talking about what my career was like and how I went to college and started dating so on and so forth. So all those defining moments in my life and they start a probing and asking More questions. Why was that that’s that way and how do you feel about this? And then all of a sudden, one of my objectives before I started, the process was I want to heal the relationship with my mother. Because it has been complicated in the past couple years, the past, actually 10 years. And it was not made any easier by the fact that my dad died seven years ago from cancer. And ever since my dad’s passing, the relationship with my mother has been a lot more complicated. So you know, I went into this process thinking, I’m going to get great business perspective for my career. And it ended up being you have to really dig into your life and your past to understand what’s holding you back from reaching those goals and dreams that you have for yourself. And I didn’t quite admit it, but at the client, I was very unhappy personally, and from the outside my life look great. You would say, well, that’s what success looks like when you Have a beautiful home, we have two wonderful kids, I have a great marriage. I love my husband, he’s an awesome person. So from the outside, everything pointed to this as a successful life. But on the inside, I just felt totally stuck, unhappy, increasingly irritated by my family. And I didn’t know what what the problem was, until I looked at this whole picture of my life and the events that happened to that point. And I found out that all of that fear, insecurity and anxiety was rooted in the way I was brought up, and how that internalised process kept working in my life, and keeping me from having a successful truly successful life. So how
David Ralph [12:42]
old were you when you went through that life plan?
Lily Kreitinger [12:46]
Well, I was just last year so I was 41 years old.
Unknown Speaker [12:50]
Did you finish
Lily Kreitinger [12:50]
because that’s a long time to figure out
David Ralph [12:53]
what he does, doesn’t it? Because that’s the interesting thing. You know, I started this when I was 44 you went When you was 31 there does seem to be a kind of second midlife crisis. Somehow I I can look back on my life and I know when I was 30 I’ve ruined my career up in the air. I was going to do amazing things. And then I let it kind of land back to where it was. But then when 40 here, it was not Oh, Blimey, I’m really wasting my time now I better get going. Did you feel that? Or was it just that it was something to do? And it’s it panned out? Well for you with the life plan. Did you feel like your life was passing you by and you really needed to do something to move it to where you want it to be?
Lily Kreitinger [13:36]
Yes, I did. I felt like I was spinning my wheels. And I felt well what what is this all going to be? What’s my legacy? And I have heard some people on your show say that to around the that midlife crisis in the 40s I don’t think it is truly a crisis as much as it is. You have enough life experience to know what has not worked for you. And it’s not like you’re trying to find who You are because you know who you are. But you’re trying to find how you’re going to make the greatest impact possible in the time you have left on earth, which for some people, maybe they die at 45, my dad died at 59. So you really don’t know how much time you have left. But it truly should be and all according to medical information, you we are most of us are expected to live into our 80. So you do reach that halfway point and say, okay, I’ve done this so far, and some things have worked and some things have not have another 40 years or more to go, what am I going to do with that time that I have? And for me, it was just that feeling of I’m stuck. I have everything that people want or that I wanted when I was 20. I wanted a family and wanted a good marriage. I wanted a good career and I have all that, but there has to be more to life than just this. And that was my underlying feeling. It was okay. This is great, but It’s not enough. It’s fascinating, isn’t it? Because
David Ralph [15:02]
I think across the globe, we all have these feelings. And for some of us, they turn up when they’re four years old, and other people when they’re 15. Unfortunately for mine, me, it kind of was bad all the way through my life, but I just didn’t act upon it. I just didn’t really believe that my life on this planet was going to end. And I don’t want to be a Doom mangria lately, but I do look at my life now. And I think to myself, Oh my God, I’ve wasted so much of it. I really need to get going. And I can’t afford to sort of hang around. So well. I used to go out and have a few drinks in the evening and then wake up when I woke up the next morning because the head was pumping and all that kind of stuff. Now it’s like, how can I get up earlier each morning? How can I get up early? How can I do this? How can I do that is it is like a man on the mission. And I remember reading that thinking Grow Rich book by Napoleon Hill. And I was reading a page I’m not sure where it was in the book, but he stated that more people becomes successful or millionaires in between 40 and 65, certainly on the male side, because they have gone through that sort of fun period of their life that gone through that sort of drinking and partying and going after girls and all that kind of stuff, when they might have had the family and once they get to 40 a lot of their energies have kind of burned out because they don’t want to do that anymore. So they look around and think, Oh my god, I better get going. And then they hit their stride. And I when I was reading that I thought, I think that’s where I am. I’ve had my kids, I they have they’re growing up they’re getting to the point now that they’re individuals moving away from me, what the hell am I gonna do? And the thought of just sitting around waiting for time to finish so that I can climb into me box and go under the ground terrifies me really terrifies me.
Lily Kreitinger [16:54]
I totally get that but you know what the interesting thing with me as and and both for for me and I have As we got married later in life, meaning I was 3131, and he was 41, when we got married, and then we didn’t have children for a while, so our children are so I’m 42. And my husband is 53. And our children are four and six years old. So we have a long time with them at home yet. And I thought, this is not going to happen. I need to get going today, even though they’re preschool. I need to get my life, my personal life and my vocation defined. Because for one thing, I think that’s the greatest gift I can give my children is a happy mom. And another thing is just practical. I don’t have they’re going to be I’m going to be 16 when they leave. So I can’t do that. I can’t I don’t have that kind of time. So it’s like get going and juggle with, you know, I’m doing bedtime stories, and then they go to bed and I go back and think what am I going to blog about next or I need to edit some audio or what is it that I need to do? Because I don’t have that luxury of saying, well, when my kids are grown and gone, it’s going to be late. When that happens, and I we’re enjoying it. We love it. We say that they keep us young. And it’s funny because people ask us if they’re our grandkids, so we just laugh and say no their kids, it’s a good thing to
David Ralph [18:17]
say. Did you do it? Do it someone in the face in the supermarket for saying that to you?
Lily Kreitinger [18:23]
I felt like it. And there’s been a number of times in this have been more than once people asked me, are you their grandmother or their mother? Well, I am old enough to be their grandmother. But no, they’re mine. I was there when they were born. I remember it. Well.
David Ralph [18:36]
I tell you what, I do it. And it’s funny, actually, because I’ve got two younger kids and my older ones have grown up. And my wife quite often or not as much now but there was a time when they was people were saying, you know, are you out with nanny and to my younger kids? And I used to say yes, we are and she used to think it was hugely amusing. But I was trying to be a son as well. So as Yeah, I used to say to him Yeah, I’m oldest son, shut up, shut up, don’t even know about it. It’s great as well, isn’t it? It does keep you young. And the fact that you are looking at that legacy that because that is your legacy, isn’t it? teaching your kids that they can be happy teaching your kids that they have choices in life, and they can do things their own way, and it’s not being selfish. It’s about being wise, and trying to balance everything so that you can have the career. You can have the enjoyment, but you can also have the freedom of choices, which is what you’re going for. I think it’s hugely positive.
Lily Kreitinger [19:34]
Yeah. And if I do not change anyone’s life for but these two little people that I have been entrusted with, I would consider my test done. So when
David Ralph [19:43]
you was in Mexico, obviously it’s a world apart from where you are in America. Did you have a similar career path planned out when you Ben you’ve got now or was it something that has changed because you have moved across the border and potential Actually, you’ve got more opportunities because it’s a wealthier country, which was your path similar? Was it leading to the border and then across in a straight line?
Lily Kreitinger [20:09]
Now it was, it wouldn’t if you would have told me 10 years ago, what I wouldn’t be doing today, I would have just laughed it up and said, there’s no way that’s gonna happen. So it’s a very long story. But basically, I started out my career as a special education teacher. And I started with a business one of my good college friends and I decided to forgo our government jobs that we were assigned after we graduated from school. Everybody in my class got assigned a government job as a special education teacher. So my friend and I said, No, we really don’t want to get into the system. We want to do our own thing. And we started a practice helping families that had children with learning disabilities. So we did that for about two years. And we made absolutely no money. And it was just depressing at some point it say, you know what, every We like you. And I really liked the work we do together. But we really need to make a living and this is not going to be good. It’s not a good path. So we went our separate ways. And it was interesting because a year after I got away from the business, she passed away at age 25. So that was that was just like a strange turn in that path. And then after that, I kept working in the education system, training other teachers and helping schools and organisations get their act together, basically, and provide a better education for children. So I was in love with education, and I still love it. But my whole path was in the academic world. And then life totally took a turn when I met my husband, because we met online. When it was not cool to meet online. This was about 12 years ago. And then we figured out that we were meant to be together and that this was the relationship we wanted. And we were right for each other and I said, Okay, let’s just do it. And Figure it out as we go. So we got married, and then I had to stay in Mexico while my immigration paperwork was being worked on. And then I moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico about seven months after our wedding. So I was there for a while just trying to figure out what am I going to do for a career now, because I have no credentials here to teach in the US. I really do not want to go back to school. But I have to figure out a way that I can get gainful employment and just continue my career path. So I looked around and thought, well, maybe a nonprofit would work, maybe something better supporting the education systems, and that didn’t really come to fruition. So we moved from New Mexico to Detroit, Michigan, and I put out my resume and I started thinking, well, there must be similar jobs that I can do that do not require me to go back and get a degree or get a certification, and I really liked the corporate environment because I had done some of that while in Mexico. So I posted on my, my resume and a company found me and they hired me. And I started my career in instructional design, which was creating e learning programmes for corporate training. It was mostly sales and technical training.
David Ralph [23:21]
So so let’s just slow you down there for a moment. Lily, would you would you have not left Mexico, if Cupid hadn’t come along and shot these little bows in you? Was it only because you met your husband online that you moved into America?
Lily Kreitinger [23:33]
Correct? It would The only reason and if you would have known me back there are then I would have say I was bolted to the ground. I had not even moved out of my parents home. Because that’s what we do. It’s part of the culture. You really don’t leave your pants until you get married. So I was determined to live in my hometown Mexico City with 28 other million people and just coast through life like I was doing. I had a good job and I enjoyed my my job. But I had no plans whatsoever to leave that environment to leave my family, my friends, nothing. So definitely Cupid did it and and I turned my life 180 degrees and started a new path. And was it was it the right path
David Ralph [24:19]
when you look back on it now? Do you think yes, he was the catalyst to make me change direction. But did he actually drag you on the right path? Or did he just drag you on a path, which you then stumbled across and tripped and had little bits of running on there until you found your thing?
Lily Kreitinger [24:37]
No, I think it has totally been the right path for me. I’ve been so thankful for the opportunities like you said that I had that opened up for me. Once I crossed that I crossed that border and just for me to even go apply for a job at a company in a town where nobody knew me. Just out of the blue like yeah, I showed up and I can tell you It’s a funny story. I went to that interview and I completely bombed the interview because they asked me questions that I had no answers to. I said, Yeah, I applied for the job, and I’ve done some of it. But most of what you do here, I have no experience to it. But I am so willing to learn, just give me the opportunity, I would really want to give it a try. And the person who hired me, confessed to me later, he said, You were so green that we were not going to let you touch anything for a while. And then you plus pass with flying colours, because you took to learning this new role really quickly. And you were so effective. And you did so well, because ultimately, it was related. It’s still education, except that you’re doing it with with adults instead of children. But the principles apply and the skills transfer from one realm to the other. It worked out really well. So I think I found the perfect path for me, in growing my skill set in a different direction. Even Though was not my plan, it worked out so well. And I’m extremely thankful for that.
David Ralph [26:05]
But let’s play some words. Now that was said recently by Oprah Winfrey. And I’m fascinated about these words because it really, when you hear her speak, it’s liberating to see that somebody as super successful as her buys into these words, totally This is Oprah Winfrey,
Oprah Winfrey [26:23]
the way through the challenge is to get still and ask yourself, what is the next right move? not think about, Oh, I got all of this stuff. What is the next right move? And then from that space, make the next right move, and the next right move and not to be overwhelmed by it because, you know, your life is bigger than that one moment. You know, you’re not defined by what somebody says, is a failure for you. Because failure is just there to point you in a different direction
David Ralph [26:54]
now in your life. Is that what you do or is that what you did? Did you just think what is that Next thing to do, because it’s a key point to all the listeners out there. When you start to want to change, you look at the big picture, and it’s terrifying. So as Oprah was saying, just look at the first step, and then do the next step. Is that the way that you did it? Or was it you just stumbled around until things worked out?
Lily Kreitinger [27:19]
I think it is more of the next just take take the next step. And one of the interesting things in my story is that we have moved so many times since I have been in the United States. So I mentioned that we lived in New Mexico. Then I moved, then we moved to Detroit. Then we moved to Wisconsin, and then we moved to Minnesota where we are right now. And a lot of people that I talked to they go, Oh, I would never be able to do that with my family. So here my relatives are here, my friends, this is all I know. And I go well, yeah. But is that what’s making you happy? Is that what you truly want for yourself and for your kids and for your marriage? or single people? Is that why you Want? Or is there something out there that you don’t want to explore just because you have this thought in your head, that you have to stay in one spot, not only geographically but emotionally, mentally, spiritually, some people are just static in one spot, and I was one of them. Before I met my husband, I would have never thought I would go to great lengths to change my path. I was pretty comfortable with the life I had not happy, but it was pretty comfortable. And I think what I value about our relationship as a married couple is that we discuss every single event in our life. We are faith centre people. So we pray about the next step, and they will make a move. And we’ve made really bold moves in those 11 years we’ve been together. And it’s just like that, just take the next step. You don’t need to have figure out the next 20 years. You want a general direction to go into, but you just take that next year. And then deal with that one and then the next one and then the next one.
David Ralph [29:03]
Because everyone can do that car like this is this is excites me Lily because you’re in a job and you hate the job and you’re in a cubicle and you hate big Veera, who sits next to you and, and dodgy area for whatever reason from the other side. And you think he said, What can I do? What can I do I need to get a new job, I need to get something else. And you don’t do you, all you need to do is write your resume First of all, and update bad and then start looking around and everything is just incremental gains. But people will just think it’s a straight path. And it’s never going to be a straight path. It’s very rare that you’re going to go from a crappy job to one that absolutely fits you perfectly. But what might happen is that you go from a crappy job to something that’s not quite as crappy. And then during that you speak to somebody at a coffee machine, who says something about what their friends are doing, and then you realise, oh, I could go to an evening club, and it just kind of relieves sprue doesn’t it? But people are trapped. Because I think they’ve got to go from A to B. And I say is a one, a two, a three, a four a five all the way through to, to be and being and when you at B, you realise you’re only halfway there anyway and you suddenly realise you want to get to D and you’ve got no idea how to get to D because you hadn’t planned it. You just bought a MP was going to be the way I’m getting the big rentee daily.
Lily Kreitinger [30:19]
Yep, it’s not it’s not it’s never is and it’s never a straight path. But you can you can stumble around if you are not true to who you are. I think that’s what the main hang up that I found with people, especially with career paths, and is what a relationship as well. It’s just that you have this thought in your head that life has to be a certain way. I you don’t open up to what if there isn’t a one, a two and a three before I reach the next big goal in my life, but it can’t be all fun and exciting all the time. Sometimes you just put it in neutral mode and just stay there for a while until you define What that next step looks like. But I think people get discouraged and frustrated because Oh, I didn’t hit the 100,000 Amazon reviews in my book, I must not be born to be an author. And it’s just never like that. It does take one step at a time and then you realise looking back, that’s why I love the philosophy of your show. You look back and you go, look how far we’ve come. I would not believe that. And I was telling that to a friend the other day, I said, if you would have told me because she she’s from Mexico, she knew me in my previous life. And she asked me, How are you doing with your new job transition, etc. You would have told me when we first met back in early college that I would be doing what I’m doing today, I would have not believed you. Because I am finding success not only professionally but personally in my parenting my marriage. financially. I am finding so much fulfilment in my life that I never thought possible. But it took me taking a look at what my belief system was, and the family and the culture I came from, and the side what elements of that I need to keep that will keep me strong and healthy. And one of that I need to discard because it was holding me back.
David Ralph [32:19]
I’m going to interview a lady next week. And she’s kind of given me a bit of background content about her. But you notice Simon Sinek start with why when you look at what your why is, and you you work out quickly, she goes by a different plan where she does stuff and tries to find the y in it while she’s doing it. So every day, she takes huge amount of action, and then looks at it afterwards and goes, why did I actually do that? Is there something that I can take her back to the next level, which is kind of confront your fears every single day kind of way? Do you ever do that? Do you ever do those leaps of faith and when you look at it, you kind of go Yeah, I didn’t. realised at a time but there was a reason why I did this. There was a reason why I went to that class. There was a reason why I opened that door and take strength from that fact that you’ve taken that action and you found a positive in it.
Lily Kreitinger [33:12]
Yes, I definitely do that retrospect. And I think I like looking at my life a lot. And even on a daily basis, I’m thinking, well, how am I feeling today? How’s it going? And something that has come out of this life plan was that my husband and I have intentionally spent barn hour sometimes an hour and a half every day in the morning before we even get up discussing our house. How’s it going? How are you feeling? Is there anything that stuff concerned to you right now? I would have never thought that possible. So that hour and a half than most people go wow, how do you even do that? Were you just set your alarm really early, and then you discuss your day and your feelings. It definitely has been very. I can’t even put words to it. It’s been really helpful and really, I’m thankful for that time and i i looked forward to the time. But what it does for me is just that sounding board because I can share with him, Hey, I’m feeling this way. And sometimes it’s I feel great. And sometimes I feel discouraged or I really don’t know what to do next, or I’m confused or I’m stressed out, it’s just that opportunity to share. But it is, it has been so great to be able to look back together at what we have done together and accomplished as, as a married couple that helps us define what the next steps are. So for us, mainly the reason why we have relocated as jobs. So we lost the job, we need a job, we want a job, and they would just pick a spot on the map and go for it. But I know that’s not realistic for many people and there are true obstacles to doing that. But if you don’t do that, you miss out on so many opportunities to connect those elements and say wow, Do you realise that how all These chained together into this massive tapestry and how beautiful is starting out. And had you not gone to that class or have you not talked to that person, you would not be where you are today. I
David Ralph [35:12]
think one of the best things that anyone can do, I think the whole planet is what we do in bed. And I think the best thing you can do is get out of bed every morning, get out of bed, and get going. And I’m absolutely adamant on bass. And I’ve always been an early riser, and you’ll hear me talk about this in so many of the shows. But
Unknown Speaker [35:32]
if you make the effort
David Ralph [35:33]
to get out of bed earlier, when you’ve done previously, it shows huge commitment. And when you’ve got that extra time, you’ve suddenly got a lot of time that you can do stuff in and I’ve been getting out of bed earlier than you’ve ever done before. It really is the starting point to saying I’m going to change I’m going to take control of my life. I’m going to do it because when you all snuggled up with the wife or whatever, it’s difficult isn’t it to drag yourself out but I do think that the successful people are the ones that actually get up earlier than everyone else. And some of them I was talking to a chap the other night, he gets up at three o’clock in the morning, which is madness, really, that that’s beyond being successful and that slightly loopy, I think, but that’s sort of par fours and the five o’clock when the sun’s just coming up and you’re like the only person on the planet and you can get up and you can go for a run or you can go to your office and you can do some work quietly, and the world hasn’t woken up around you. I really do think that that kind of Miracle Morning is the starting point to everything and if people can just do that, they’ve got a head start on probably 90% of the world what what do you think?
Lily Kreitinger [36:39]
Yeah, I I’ve proven that and I probably used to be more sleep in person. I was not a morning person for the longest time. But I have found so much value in doing that. And well for one thing for me, the reason is very practical. I need to get out of the house at a certain time because I commute 40 miles to work on it. Have to get on the train and a certain time, they will not wait for me. I have to get everybody ready, gets ready to go to school, all my stuff ready to go. I packed my lunch every day. And I have to get on this train and go and compete for an hour and a half before I get to the office. So I don’t really have an option not to do that. But I found Well, if I add an extra 30 minutes to my normal routine, or an extra hours, sometimes sometimes I’m awake at four o’clock in the morning and we just start our discussion time and are sharing time that early. But I can say the benefits to our health. Our marriage to our mindset had been so wonderful that I don’t say oh, I would trade that for another hours sleep. Because really you don’t get that much value out of an extra hour of sleep.
David Ralph [37:49]
If I reached over and started talking to my wife at four o’clock, I think she would reach out and find the nearest pair of scissors and stabbed me to death in bed. So the fact that you you can open you can talk to your husband, and he’s gonna talk back to you. That’s quite amazing.
Lily Kreitinger [38:07]
Most of the time he starts the conversation and sometimes I will say, Do you realise what time it is? I mean, I’m not all happy and excited about the conversation, because most of the time he is the one who will say, Are you awake? Well, I am now what do you need? And and I just get over it really quickly. And I go, yes, which is talk. It’s great. And I really it’s funny, because I would have been, you know, smacking him. And sometimes I do. So you just Just leave me alone. Let me sleep another half hour. We’ll talk Ben. But most of the time now, I do look forward to that. And either one of us would initiate conversation because it’s something that we have intentionally decided to do together. And if it weren’t for that, sometimes that when I’ve been out of town on business, I wake up that early and I go, what am I going to do with the next three and a half hours before this event starts. I’m in my hotel room, and fun Am wide awake. What do I do? Well, I pull out a book, I start reading, I start typing up a blog post something. But it’s just a habit, that it’s, it’s just wonderful. I use that time for prayer I do that time, I use the time to just meditate on what my day is going to be like, or catch up on stuff and even watch TV, which I never do at home. I just enjoy watching TV at that time early in the morning. And it’s, it’s wonderful.
David Ralph [39:27]
So it’s a Where’s your life taking you at the moment because you’ve made so many brave choices and you’ve moved around so much and you move from country to country. And as we were talking just before we press record on the show, you just left your last company and you’re moving towards another company. Where are you aiming? Are you aiming to be in corporate land? Are you aiming to be your own boss or are you just aiming to be happy wherever you are?
Lily Kreitinger [39:53]
Well, I would say all of the above. I enjoy corporate world for the right company. And by that I mean a company that has a great culture that has a great mission, and that provides true value and service to their customers. So that is my first filter through, do I want to work for these people? So yes, I am moving from a corporate job to another corporate job. And the reason is because my previous job turned around when the organisation decided to change business direction. And they said, You’re this line of business. It’s no more this team that was about 15 of us on the team, this scene will disappear as it is today, we will reassign all of you to new roles, and this line of business is going to be no more. So since I really enjoyed my team, and I really enjoyed our line of business, I thought, well, this is not this is not going in a direction that I personally want to go. I was looking forward to growing this, it was a small entrepreneurial venture within a larger organisation. And that’s what I loved about it. I work with outstanding talented people who really care about each other, we become friends. And it was just a very unique team and everybody who’s worked on that team has said the same thing. So just the fact that we were not going to be able to work together anymore, and that the tasks themselves would change. Maybe we start to think, well, maybe I don’t want to continue working for this organisation in a different world. So I started looking inside and out and I found another company. That is I’m going to be software training now doing a training consultant. And I was looking forward to getting back to that and I know you have that same background. I like that face to face contact with people. I like being in a room and teaching something to someone and they get it and then they start improving their business results with that and aligning with their goals and planning a strategy. I love that because salting piece of it. And I love that coaching people and teaching. So this new role is going to allow me to do that. So that is one part of one piece of the puzzle. And then the other piece has to do with what I’ve talked about extensively with lifeline. I will be certified as a life plan facilitator in April. So my goal is to combine the two and have that corporate career and then start working as a life plan facilitator once I get my certificate, helping people find what I found through this process. So it’s entirely different things but I think they go well together in the sense that in my professional corporate job, I will be doing that same thing helping people align their business to their goals and then in the in the life plan facilitating, I’m going to do the same wallet just that line your life to what your values are and what your purpose is in life and why were you put on this earth? What is it they have to conference that no one else can do for you. So I’m very excited about 2015 in that sense. So I’ll start my new job the following week. And then I will go through this syphon certification and then move from that. So what will happen? I don’t know, I’m just taking those steps, that those are my next steps for this year, start my new corporate job and get my certification and then figure out what the next right step is from there.
David Ralph [43:27]
I’ll tell you, I swear blind with you, you are going to end up doing the life plan. I can just feel that but you’re doing it wise, you’ve got a side hustle, you’re developing a side string on you while you’re still paying the bills. And that’s what I emphasise a lot on the show. You don’t actually have to just punch your boss in the face and walk out and think oh my god, what I’m going to do, but you can take time to develop something so but but natural position is I can step away from my company because my bills are paid and then you can move Forward, but I reckon that you are going to be a life plan because you love it for yourself personally, you love that ability of seeing the penny drop and people change. And you are a people person, you are going to be a life planner Lily and I will put a million pound on it.
Lily Kreitinger [44:17]
All right, I’ll hold you to that.
Lily Kreitinger [44:24]
That is the goal, but I don’t like I said it’s just you just have to be smart about it. And I have been so blessed to have this great online community for the past almost three years that I’ve we’ve walked together and some of us have met in person, some of us that just interacted through the online world and I promise Mark Seaver crop I’ve mentioned him too. So you don’t want to do we
David Ralph [44:48]
don’t want to mention Mark See, but I’ve done it as well. Going in with that again, Mark Siva club. If you’re listening mark, this is to use your lead. Yeah,
Lily Kreitinger [44:57]
I don’t know if I want to be associated with him or not, but he’s a great guy, but but really what I have learned from this group of people that have walked together is just do you can pursue your passion, but you can just infuse everything you do with passion. You don’t have to wait like you said, until you punch someone in the face. And I’m done with corporate and I have to leave because corporate is not evil. I mean, corporate world is for some people a great path to a great career and to be a service to others. It’s just not for everybody. It’s just the same as entrepreneurship is for some a great battle for some it’s not. So I think you just have to determine which is the best fit for you personally, and how are you going to get the best out of that? And you can be stellar wherever you are. Because it depends on your attitude, not your title.
David Ralph [45:44]
Did you think that person in Mexico City would have believed the word you’re saying now that the lady who was coasting from day to day and now you’re saying, you can find your passion in everything you can be Stella, these are big words aren’t they do you do Been that person, if they look back on it would have gone. What has she been drinking?
Lily Kreitinger [46:05]
Yeah, probably. I mean, I did think I mean, how can I put it, I always have committed myself to being very responsible with what I do. So my previous jobs back in Mexico, I enjoyed them. I had great leaders, I gave my all to that job, whether I was making almost minimum wage, or a little better than that. It was not ever about the finance part of it. It was whether or not I felt fulfilled with those roles. And I did. I think my whole professional career, I have felt I’m in the right place at the right time with the right people and I love what I do. But my dreams were really small. My dreams were well maybe I can do a little bit more of this, but I never thought I can totally break out of that and reach this point where I am right now. Where I’m going to be Working for a global company, I may get to travel back to Mexico and teach people how to use the software and just fulfil that dream of, Oh, I was always interested in the business world. I just never knew how to get there. Because I figured my little four year degree from a small teaching school, it’s not going to get me where I am right now.
David Ralph [47:22]
Yeah, but if you put passion into everything, then that will get you better. Surely that that is the key to this episode, isn’t it? If you if you aim to be stellar, in whatever you do, whether you are supremely educated, or you’re just a hustler, that’s got to make changes surely.
Lily Kreitinger [47:39]
And I think I mean, if you if you were to listen to what we were told when I was going to college, it was pretty much this is your path your path has been laid out for you. You will be a government employee for the rest of your life. And you are not allowed or to even think outside of this box. This is your box and you don’t have the skills The credentials or the talent to go outside of this box. And I never bought into that. That’s why I said I don’t want a government job. I want my own business, which miserably failed. But I learned a lot from it. But I failed. I refused to settle with what people told me what’s possible. I would say maybe my college teachers would not believe where I am today. in a position where I get to use bilingual skills, what I get to do training where I get to do things that I was never taught in school that I have taught myself over the years,
David Ralph [48:36]
I think they should be ashamed of themselves. Really, I think anyone out there who say that kind of limiting thoughts to anyone, they should be taken into a room and and have cold sponges thrown at them for hours upon hour,
Lily Kreitinger [48:54]
don’t you? Yes, I agree.
David Ralph [48:57]
He’s like those Fair Grounds. I don’t know if you have those in America. When you get somebody in stocks, and you get these cold buckets of water and sponges, and you pay $5, or whatever to lob them at their faces as hard as you can, if I hear that kind of terminology, I’m going to find the nearest bucket and a sponge and some stocks and I’m going to I’m going to go through them, I’m going to go through them really because shows about
Lily Kreitinger [49:19]
that follows about
David Ralph [49:21]
that’s old is about, I’m going to tell you the words now of the late Steve Jobs because they are the theme of the show. And they really do emphasise the journey that we’re all on. And what I particularly like about them is that you don’t know what you’re going to get. But you’ve just got to have faith that it’s going to turn out well. This is Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs [49:40]
Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college, but it was very, very clear looking backwards. 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future You have to trust in Something your gut, destiny life karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path, and that will make all the difference.
David Ralph [50:15]
So talking to you, you are a very confident lady. But when did that confidence like Steve Jobs is talking about competent to move forward? When did that really hit home for you?
Lily Kreitinger [50:27]
I think is just when I got the opportunity to reinvent myself. I truly looking back I think that’s what happened to me when I crossed that border in Texas, it with two suitcases and lots of dreams and lots of questions. Because I figured well, nobody hears knows me. I can be whoever I want to be. I don’t have to fit the label that my friends my family my classmates have put on me as Oh, you’re the goody two shoes girl. Always responsible, never going out in the wild side, you always say, colour within the lines. I was that person very, very inflexible, very judgmental, very afraid of a lot of things. And when I go, Well, you know what, there’s no one here to see this, I can be whoever I want. And I started just getting out of that shell and became very friendly with people. And I started getting lots of friends and which I never had before. I just became a new person. And I think that was the starting point. Even though I had a long way to go back then it was the starting point of saying, Well, I don’t have to be what I have been to this point. I can, I can do whatever I want, and I can be whoever I want.
David Ralph [51:45]
And that’s the message to everyone isn’t it doesn’t matter where you are in life. You’re only there because of the decisions you’ve made. And the fact that you can be in a terrible job. You went for that terrible job and you got that terrible. job and you were the one that put your best suit on and sat there and sold yourself to get that terrible job. And if you’re in a terrible relationship, you were the one that batted your eyelids and started floating or whatever, to get into that relationship. And you don’t have to just say, well, that’s where I am. You can reinvent yourself. And I think so many people should reinvent themselves because it would be awful if we were all like 10 year olds. And I always think that when people sort of split up in relationships, and they go, it’s because you changed. I was thinking, thank God, you’ve changed. Because if you are going out with the same 15 year old and you’re a 45 year old, that is basically wrong. And people should change into different individuals. So I think everybody out there, they’ve just got to sit back and listen to this episode. and realise that you are where you are because of you and not the person sitting next to you on the train or the person sitting next to you in a cubicle at work or wherever. It’s because of you and once you realise that then magic starts. What do you reckon, Lily? Is that a good way to finish this? Yo,
Lily Kreitinger [53:06]
that’s a great way to finish the show. And I would say, just the fact that you can make a decision to, to choose happiness and choose excellence. It is you it’s not going to come from outside of you. So for those of us who are married, and we’re hoping that our spouse will fulfil our all our needs, I have news for you, that’s not going to happen. And for those of us who think that our kids are like pets, and we need to treat them like so and they’re our position, it’s not going to happen. Your job as a parent is to raise adults, not children. So those truths in life that had been a revelation for me in the past year or so have made me just understand that it’s just what you said. You will make the choices to take the steps you talk to people, you get one foot in front of the other, it’s you. Nobody else is going to do it for you.
David Ralph [53:54]
Oh, I love this. We should make this a nine part of this this show. But this is The end of David Ralph of the show and this is the part that we call the Sermon on the mic. And this is when I’m going to send you back in time to have a one on one with your younger self. And if you could go back and speak to the young Lily, what age would you choose? And what advice would you give? Well, I’m going to play the theme. And when it fades, you’re up. This is the Sermon on the mic.
Unknown Speaker [54:23]
Here we go with the best
Unknown Speaker [54:32]
Lily Kreitinger [54:42]
to my 21 year old self. You are young and Daydream a lot. You feel you have the power to change the world and that you know more than everyone around you. You want to help people have a better life. Because sincerely constantly build the picture in your head of a perfect Prince Charming who come and rescue you. take you to a beautiful home with a white picket fence. With home you will have perfect children and live happily ever after. You have great ideas about your brand new business and you think you can make it on your own with hardly any help. Because after all, you know everything. You have no idea how exciting future will become in 10 years. You will achieve things that right now seemed unthinkable to you. Hold on to that passion for helping others it will come in handy. Don’t worry about Prince Charming you’re going to deal with mostly frogs. Your knight in shining armour looks nothing like the picture you have in your head. Learn how to say no learn how to be comfortable in your own skin. Your worth comes from within not from someone asking you on a date. God is not present in your life right now. Even though you think he is. It is going to take a while for you to understand it and fully grasp it. You will learn that you are worthy because you are his he will not stop pursuing you and he has been waiting with open arms since You were born. Life will not be at all what you have planned for yourself. You will experience incredible change and loss. But it will all be necessary to shape you into the person you were born to be. seek wisdom, knowledge, stop being judgmental and critical. Admit that you don’t know everything. Stop engaging in friendships that drain life out of you. Ask for help. recognise you’re not perfect. Learn how to love yourself. Spread your wings, set boundaries, dare to fail. Learn from your mistakes. Delete the word I can’t from your vocabulary. Grow a grateful heart. Life is so much more and the world is about to get a lot bigger for you,
David Ralph [56:42]
Lily, how can our audience connect with you?
Lily Kreitinger [56:45]
Well, I’m pretty active on social media. You can find me on Twitter at Lily Kreitinger or on my website Lily creating or.com
David Ralph [56:56]
and you don’t want to say anything nice about Mark Seaver crop again. Before you go,
Lily Kreitinger [57:01]
I told him that we were probably going to try to break the record of how many times we could mention his name. But I think we’re gonna not do that. I thank him for leading me to David Ralph and Join Up Dots. This has been wonderful experience and I really enjoy your show.
David Ralph [57:16]
It’s been a pleasure to have you on the show. Thank you so much for spending time with us today joining those dots. And please come back again, when you have more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining up the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Lily, thank you so much.
Lily Kreitinger [57:31]
David doesn’t want you to become a faded version of the brilliant self you are wants to become. So he’s put together an amazing guide for you called the eight pieces of advice that every successful entrepreneur practices, including the two that changed his life. Head over to Join Up dots.com to download this amazing guide for free and we’ll see you tomorrow on Join Up Dots.