Welcome to the Join Up Dots business coaching podcast with Leisa Peterson
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Introducing Leisa Peterson
Leisa Peterson is todays guest on Join Up Dots business coaching podcast interview.
She is a lady that I was told three or four times “Have you had her on the show now”
And looking back through the archives I realised with shame that I hadn’t, so it with delight that she is now.
As she is a lady that can shed light on a problem that we all suffer with this (or at least those of us that don’t know that there is a different way)
As she says “Are you someone who is burned out from working hard for many years yet afraid to step back out of fear of losing all you’ve gained?
Are your work obligations keeping you from having deeply meaningful relationships with your family and friends?
How The Dots Joined Up For Leisa
Do you feel stuck in a situation that takes everything you’ve got yet know there has to be more to life…an ultimate state of joy, satisfaction, and fulfilment.
Maybe you’ve found yourself fantasizing about the possibilities but still nothing changes.
I want you to know you don’t have to stay in this stressful state of mind and that relief is possible.”
So how did she come to this realisation that there was another way?
Well as she shares “I spent 22+ years working in the world of finance, pouring myself into earning a high salary, collecting great bonuses and moving up the ladder.
This worked for a while and I reached great success, even becoming a millionaire by 37. However, after facing a major life crisis followed by several tragedies, the luster started to wane and the material success wasn’t enough to fill the growing void inside…which left me wondering if I could ever have both inner fulfilment and outer wealth.”
So does she feel that you have to go through these tough times, to truly find the lightness in your life?
Is this the way that life operates and we learn more from the stresses and hardships?
Well let’s find out as we bring onto the show to start joining up dots, with the one and only Leisa Peterson.
During the show we discussed such weighty topics as:
How she knew when she was at work, she was very different from the others and could see things in a different way.
Why she can now see the veins of gold that run through her life, and can clearly see the links to her earlier passions.
How we can all take a greater role in inspiring our kids to see that within the failures in life there are true gifts to be had.
How her life was changed forever when she paid a visit to her Doctor one day and was confronted with tragedy.
Why it is so important to be truly in love with yourself and allow yourself to see your true beauty everyday.
Connect With Leisa Peterson
Every other episode to enjoy and consume can be found at Join Up Dots Podcast Archives
Audio Transcription Of Leisa Peterson Interview
David Ralph [0:00]
Today’s show is brought to you by podcasters mastery.com, the premier online community teaching you to podcast like a pro. Check us out now. podcasters mastery.com
when we’re young, we have an amazing positive outlook about how great life is going to be. But somewhere along the line we forget to dream and end up settling join up dots features amazing people who refuse to give up and chose to go after their dreams. This is your blueprint for greatness. So here’s your host live from the back of his garden in the UK David Ralph
David Ralph [0:33]
Yes. Hello, there is David Ralph and this is join up dots and you have come to the right place because I feel a motivational mood coming on today. And it’s not surprising, really, because I’ve got a lady on on the show. It was one of those stories that you’ve hit Wow, this could be made into a film so we can go literally anywhere in this conversation. And she’s a lady by I was told three or four times have you had on the show? Have you have you? And looking back through the archives I realized with shame that I hadn’t. So it’s with the light, but she is now she is a lady that can shed light on the problem that we all suffer. Well, and well, at least of us. But the don’t know that there was a different way to live our lives. And she says, Are you someone who is burned out from working hard for many years, yet afraid to step back out of fear of losing all you’ve gained? I think I’m going to do that like an infomercial? Are you someone who’s burnt out from working hard for many years, yet afraid to step back out of fear of losing all you’ve gained, or your work obligations keeping? I can’t keep it up? Or your work obligations keeping you from having deep, meaningful relationships with your families and friends? Do you feel stuck in a situation that takes everything you’ve got yet know that there has to be more to life and ultimate state of joy, satisfaction and fulfillment? Maybe you found yourself fantasizing about the possibilities but still nothing changes. I want you to know you don’t have to stay in a stressful state of mind. And that really is possible. So how did she come to this realization that there was another way? Well, as she shares she spent 22 plus years working in the world of finance, pulling herself into earning a high salary, collecting great bonuses and moving up the ladder. And this worked for a while, and she would reach great success even becoming a millionaire by 37. However, after facing a major life crisis, followed by several tragedies, the luster started to wane. And the material success wasn’t enough to build a growing of void inside, which left her wondering if she could have both inner fulfillment and outer wealth. So does she feel that you have to go through these tough times to truly find the lightness in your life and it’s just the way that life operates? And we learn more from the stressors and hardships? Well, let’s find out as we bring on to the show to start join up dots with the one and only Leisa Peterson How are you Leisa?
Leisa Peterson [2:49]
I am very well thank you David
David Ralph [2:51]
my mouth went totally wrong in that introduction. You know, I it was like my eye my eyes was sort of forking over someone I become tempted blind for a moment. I can’t believe I got through that. It wasn’t the best introduction I’ve ever done. But hey, it’s out there now, isn’t it?
Leisa Peterson [3:08]
Yeah, it’s good. I thought it was pretty great. Thank you.
David Ralph [3:12]
You said pretty girl. It was great. You were great. You did that work?
Leisa Peterson [3:18]
I did. I’m sorry. I was just listening. I love your introduction. So I was excited to be able to listen to mine. So thank you very much for that.
David Ralph [3:29]
When you listen to that, obviously, you wrote that that’s that’s pretty much from you about page. But when you lead it, does it sound like you or where you are now, obviously, you’ve got to a point that you’re rocking and rolling and you’re loving every minute. Do you look back on it and go? Who was that? Was that me? Does that really still seem part of you? Or does it seem a long time ago?
Leisa Peterson [3:50]
Oh, it still seems like me? Mostly because what I’m doing right now and helping people, I get to relive my past, every time I sit down and talk with the client about their experiences. And yeah, so it just I relive it because what I’ve found is that after teaching meditation for several years, that really the only way to teach is to share your own personal experiences and what you were going through at that time, because that’s what speaks to people. And and I learned that not in the beginning, you know, I thought you open a book you teach and and I saw the eyes glaze over. People were pretty bored. And so I learned that people actually really liked my stories. And so that is I just relived them over and over again. It’s kind of interesting.
David Ralph [4:45]
And is it like therapy for you as you’re reliving it? Do you kind of find some new angle that you hadn’t quite seen before? And as you’re telling it, you kind of think,
Unknown Speaker [4:55]
David Ralph [4:56]
wow, I’ve never thought of it that way before?
Leisa Peterson [5:00]
Yes, I think what happens is, I’ll be telling somebody something, and all of a sudden, I realize like, ooh, you know, there is there is more to that story. And I hadn’t noticed it before. So yes, you know, you’re, you’re in the spirit of helping people, you continue to uncover, you know, morsels of truth that help you continue on your path, which is what makes it so awesome, right?
David Ralph [5:27]
When he does it. And the interesting thing about it is when you are totally open and honest, people like it more, you know, I say things on the show, but I listened back to it. I think one that hell was I telling the map for that I should have kept that to myself, but it is playing to your authentic self. And when you start on the journey, I think a lot of people make the mistake of trying to be the perfect finished article. But nowadays, we kind of like the floors, don’t we like to see that the real successful person really isn’t as successful all the way through live, it just becomes more genuine somehow.
Leisa Peterson [6:03]
It’s totally more interesting. I mean, I think that our flaws and our difficulties are very interesting, because there is this way in the world that’s very polished. And you know, the things we see in the media, we don’t see the whole story. And I just think people, you know, start to tune out because they’re like, not if they feel like people are really sheltering themselves and not being forthcoming. It’s it’s kind of boring. It’s terrible. But it to me, it’s boring. So
David Ralph [6:37]
how would you balance that with your own personal image? Because I’m looking at a picture of you on Skype at the moment and a very glamorous, beautiful lady. And we’ve women, women have to sort of look a certain way, don’t they? They can literally go down to the school gates looking at their worst, they’ve got to sort of put something on. So how do you balance being totally open or an authentic with the kind of polished professional business lady that I’m looking at on the picture?
Leisa Peterson [7:05]
That is a really good question. I live in a small town and a lot of people don’t wear makeup. And that’s pretty awesome. So I will say I’m a pretty frightening person when you see me at the school dropping off my son. But it’s it’s funny that you mentioned this because like one of my worst nightmares, and I even did a double check is when we were doing this today, I thought, Oh my gosh, you know, I am not you know that person that has makeup or my hair done. And if you were like your worst nightmare when you start doing podcast is somebody all of a sudden comes in and they’re on the they’re on the screen. Are
David Ralph [7:44]
you telling me Leisa, you’ve let yourself go? You’ve made no effort to be in front of me.
Leisa Peterson [7:52]
Absolutely nothing. Yeah, that’s true. It’s pretty cool, actually, isn’t it? I don’t
David Ralph [7:57]
know if I’m wearing a tuxedo at the moment and I’m looking very suave and debonair, but some might say James Bond like and you’ve made no effort at all.
Leisa Peterson [8:08]
I just kind of worked my voice vocal cords a little bit. So
David Ralph [8:14]
yeah, now I’m actually wearing nothing. I’m totally naked at the moment. I don’t know if that’s a good thing. It’s Um, no, no, that that that would be, that would be a horrible and there was a horrible pose from your vein where you didn’t know where to go with it. So I’m going to cover that one up. But did you find me the with the ladies at the school gays, because if you go down there, it does bought into those kind of two camps with the ones that kind of just go down there cuz I Sony dropping the kids at the school? I’ve got me day ahead. And you’ve got the other ones that turn up? You mean? How can you possibly look like this at sort of quarter to nine in the morning? Or whatever time that it is over effort? Do you do you see that in your life as well, but some people are just kind of going too much too much. And you look at them in a critical way, even though they look perfect.
Leisa Peterson [9:00]
I think that women are really, really hard on themselves. And so it is very challenging and the culture that we live in to, you know, show up and not feel like other people are going to judge you. There’s no question about that. But it is. It’s a it’s just an interesting part of being a woman, you know, you never really question it, I think as much as you’d like. But yeah, so I don’t know if that answers your question. But that’s what comes up.
David Ralph [9:34]
There’s a song that comes up into mine, it’s hard to be at work, sometimes it’s hard to be a woman. And it is isn’t it it is you know, guys will just throw on the genes that they’ve left by the side of the bed next morning. And they sort of just go out and it’s great. Being a guy is terrible being a woman but griping a guy?
Leisa Peterson [9:55]
Well, it is super fun to get dressed up. And it is fun to look awesome. So I would say that there’s it’s just that time when you really don’t want to get done up. But you feel the pressure to do it. That’s frustrating.
David Ralph [10:09]
So in your in your life, and obviously now you must have had a pressure because your path was very much set on what people expected success to be. And you were probably believing that was the case as well. Moving on up the corporate ladder, working very hard in corporate America, whatever. But inside you’re feeling something very different. Did you feel that you were somewhere in the middle of those those sort of camps, the perfect lady working up the finance, but the other ladies kind of looking like they’re doing their own thing, and wondering why you can’t be in both camps at the same time.
Leisa Peterson [10:46]
I think that, you know, working, working my way up without question, I had spent my childhood thinking that having lots of money and being successful in my career would be the picture perfect life that I could I was dreaming of, and definitely wasn’t what I had drove grown up with. And, and yeah, that just started to crumble, my dad was actually killed by his ex girlfriend and her boyfriend in 1999. And I was in the middle of getting a big promotion and my corporate job when it happened. And it was so weird, because Looking back, I was in the middle of pulling together a project that involved hundreds of people, the sort of that project that you dream of your whole life. And you think, oh, if I do this one, well, you know, everything’s going to change in my life. And then my grandmother, my, my father’s mother, and my mom showed up at our home one day. And I thought this is so strange. There was a different feeling in the air and proceeded to tell me what it happened to my father. And I, I did not know what to do with myself, but I just I collapsed in inside. Because it was like this, you could have heard a pin drop sort of thing that all the sudden, everything was different. Like in within a few hours of realizing what had happened, I knew that my life would never be the same. It was like a whole other person came out inside of me and took over in a way. And I continue to do all the right stuff in my job. In fact, I didn’t go to where my father was living in Oregon. And I didn’t go because this project was so important. Like I continue to do all the things I was supposed to do. But inside I began, it’s a completely different journey that a lot of nobody really knew about I was a little bit secretive of it, because I didn’t know what was happening to me. Does that make any sense?
David Ralph [12:53]
You might touch some sayings. And one of the things that sort of ties up quite nicely on that is the fact that you did what was it expected of you, you you you played the role? What was expected of you. And was that always the case in corporate land as well, when you was doing the well, because I was in corporate land for many, many years. And I look back on it now. And I think 90% of the time I was playing the role that they wanted. But then 10% was my true self. And that’s when I really wanted to have a laugh and just muck around. And were you very aware that you were playing roles not being true to yourself.
Leisa Peterson [13:27]
I think I was aware that I was very different than the people that I was working with. And so, you know, I just got so used to being so looking at things differently. But that also was part of the reason I was so successful is, you know, I’d be the person, you know, in the room saying something completely different than everyone else. And I was so passionate about it, that people would pay attention and listen and be willing to try things in a pretty staid and conservative environment. So it was exciting to me to be able to show my true self, but it was still within the confines of a certain environment. So that’s what happened.
David Ralph [14:10]
And so when you were influencing others, after a while did did it get tiring that you were influencing them? Did Did you almost want somebody else to take control over? Well, you know, I,
Leisa Peterson [14:22]
I got worn out because I’ve always been a very deeply empathetic person. So I feel emotions. And I could feel things that nobody was talking about. And it started, it just started wearing me out because I could tell that people were doing pretty horrible things to each other behind their backs or undermining and things that would happen to me on a regular basis because I did get a lot of attention by being this out of the box thinker, other people who are way smarter than I was and way craftier than I was, would be threatened by that, you know, and maybe like, you know, she’s not that smart, but why she getting all the attention? Yeah. And that brought on a lot of animosity and difficulty that I was just never the Street Fighter. And that way, like, I just wasn’t strong enough to deal with it. So that’s what wore me out.
David Ralph [15:21]
But I see that, you know, over time in corporate land by they’re the ones that seem to almost breeze through and you you kind of wonder how they’re providing so much value, because they don’t seem to work incredibly hard. But they just seem to say the right things at the right time. But you seem to be somebody that was a hustler as well, you worked very hard when you was there, even though you was saying the right things at the right time and moving up the ladder. What was it a combination? Was it a combination of effort, and not playing to your unique strengths?
Leisa Peterson [15:55]
effort? It was? Yeah, I mean, I work really, really hard. That’s been one of the things you know, when you grow up, I guess, on the wrong side of the tracks, and you’re looking around and thinking, Okay, you know, what do you got? I just learned that I could, you know, outwork anybody, if I, you know, applied myself, so, I’m not sure if that answers your question, but that was what was keeping me going, maybe the satisfaction that I can work hard and make things happen.
David Ralph [16:25]
Is that how success is built bow net? Now you’ve come to the upper end. But for for the listeners sitting in their cubicles? Is it about saying the right things at the right time providing the right value? Or is it about working harder than anyone else?
Leisa Peterson [16:43]
Well, you know, my story, I would say is definitely around working hard and really learning, learning what’s going on at a deeper level than other people understand. So it’s that we each have to find our own unique strengths, and that we can be successful when we truly understand the things that we’re great at. But when we try to do things that we’re not so great at, then that’s when people have to get kind of crafty and sort of not aboveboard, to be able to do a good job is my is my opinion of having worked in that business for a long time?
David Ralph [17:27]
You’ve used the word crafty a couple of times. And yeah, is that a bug bam, that now you seem to be very open and genuine with what you’re doing? Do you see people that aren’t being totally truthful in life? Does that does that bother you? You know,
Leisa Peterson [17:44]
it’s something that I didn’t understand going into working in corporate America that people would do that sort of stuff so frequently. But now, I think what I see is that people are really good at convincing themselves that they’re not doing it, but then they’re still kind of doing it in certain areas of their life. Do you follow me?
David Ralph [18:08]
Yeah, no, I do follow you. But what I kind of wonder is more with you. Is that something but you are very aware, you’re not gonna allow to be part of you anymore, you’re not gonna allow craftiness to be you, even if it might take you to greater success.
Leisa Peterson [18:28]
Oh, definitely. Yeah, there’s no question. I mean, that’s, that’s one of the huge breakthroughs I think that has continued to happen in my life is that the path to the sorts of fulfillment that I was looking for, was never going to come from those actions. And then, in all fairness, I mean, I think that’s a lot of what, you know, I talk about these days. And when I started teaching, meditation, and looking inside and mindfulness and paying attention into, you know, who you are, and how you’re showing up and the things that you’re doing, you know, that was something that a lot of people don’t really want to, you know, talk about, or think about. And I become so, you know, clear in the fact that that is that is the way out is is just incredible integrity with yourself, first and foremost, just being really honest. And then once you come to that place, anything, any problem can be solved. But as long as we’re not in full candor with the situation, we will continue to have problems that come up over and over and over again.
David Ralph [19:40]
Because it is the moment that life starts moving forward. When you start asking yourself the questions about the many years you’re frightened of the answers. And when you start to really delve into why you’re doing certain things, and why you’re not doing certain things. I certainly found it with myself, when I quit my corporate job, there was a time of transition that I kind of didn’t really know what my place was. But by having these conversations on a daily basis, it’s been like being in therapy. And I listen to what people are saying, and I reflect back. And I pretty much know my why now. And that’s what most people say, you got to find out your why, why do you want to do something? Why are you doing something? Do you know your why?
Leisa Peterson [20:26]
I think I do, you know, it continues to evolve. But I think the Y has been very clear from even my youngest memories as a child is that I don’t think that people need to suffer in the way that they do that. I think I felt like it was self inflicted, I just didn’t understand what that meant, or how that worked. And the work that I do now is about bringing to light, why we suffer. And when we become aware of why we suffer, I truly believe that the healing the natural healing process begins. And so I’m very passionate about that healing process and how human beings heal from you know, whether it’s what they came into this life with, because I think there’s some of that. But there’s also a lot of stuff that happens to us that we sort of attached to ourselves like baggage, and it’s really heavy. And I’d love to let you know, help people lighten their load.
David Ralph [21:31]
Because I think that the load starts from when you start going to school, I’m now convinced of it yeah, that the little five year old is totally open to possibilities. Life can be anything by one. And then by the time they start going to school, and they get surrounded by their peer group, and some kids get a bit of bullying going on or whatever, they start to lose their way somewhat. And then once I get into what we call senior school, and I imagine you call it high school, then you’re ready losing track of it, and you’re just coming out the other end desperate to get a job. And I think it’s that middle ground where we should try to nurture those key elements of what we love doing as a kid and what we’d love doing as a child because I can guarantee you Well, I can’t guarantee you but I pretty much know that if we took you right back to the early stage of the younger Lisa, real small. Lisa, you’re very similar to what you are now and the things that you like doing you still like doing now? because there wasn’t any money involved. It wasn’t any ambition involved. You just liked doing them. Can you see similarities with yourself and your very early age?
Leisa Peterson [22:36]
Definitely, there’s consistent themes that I see come through, and just, you know, wanting like I always loved people, you know, my daughter, she loves animals, like that’s her thing. I love people. And it’s always been that way, I would always pick the opportunity to sit down and have a meaningful conversation. And I should say, a deeply meaningful conversation. I’m not really great at small talk, and I never have been. You know, that’s, that’s it. It’s like being able to converse and communicate and connect with people, man, that’s like, that’s just a dream come true to me. So that’s always been there
David Ralph [23:21]
when it is gold, isn’t it, and we’ve all got that gold in our lives. We’ve all got those veins of gold that run through us. But we just start drilling in the wrong direction somehow. And we we don’t play to our strengths. And somebody says to us, and Lisa, I’ve got this corporate gig, and it’s going to pay us Quilliam pound a month and you just go Yeah, brilliant. Sounds Sounds great. Where we should be screaming actually, now it sounds boring. And I’m going to hate every minute of it. And I shouldn’t be doing it. But you just get seduced, don’t do it. And it’s it’s got to be that middle ground, isn’t it? It’s got to be the education system somehow, but just makes us forget to dream and forget to actually feel things and just say, you’ve got to grow up. You can’t act like a child for the rest of your life. When I’m telling you I reckon you can. And I reckon that’s the key thing. If you act like a child, then you’re playing to your strengths. What do you think Lisa? bit, Randy, but there you go.
Leisa Peterson [24:15]
Well, one of the things you said a little bit ago, because I have two kids. And I think to you, how many kids do you have? 10. Right. Five, Oh, I thought it was a big number. That’s huge number
Unknown Speaker [24:26]
and a grandson.
Leisa Peterson [24:29]
David Ralph [24:30]
I’m a cat banging them out.
Leisa Peterson [24:33]
So okay, I have to and I think that’s all I can handle. But one thing I just wanted to mention, and this is really interesting. So my daughter is 17. And she was two years old when things started to change, shake, get shaken up in my life. And then I have a 10 year old who has really been around since the like Zen mom came out different, very different situation. Because I was in the first place few years of my daughter’s life. I was really torn about my life. And I in fact, I wanted to become a nun and I’m looking at her going, Okay, you know, I’ve got this husband and this daughter, and they are keeping me from that none thing that I’m supposed to be doing.
David Ralph [25:14]
Do you think thank God now, when you look back on it?
Leisa Peterson [25:18]
Oh my gosh, thank God, yes, yes, that wasn’t my path. But it was the extremes, because I feel like oftentimes we go to extremes to find the middle ground. So that’s what I had to do. But one thing I did want to mention is there is so much that can be done in the home, to help these incredible little beings as they grow. And I’ve witnessed it in my own life, even from the difference between my son and, and my daughter in as I’ve stepped into my true self, and I’ve, you know, started to love myself and and understand what that meant. It’s amazing how that translates to our children and how, like when they are on the playground. And they are, you know, dealing with the bullying and dealing with the hardship, My children are pretty exceptional in that they have this very strong sense of themselves. And they’re not influenced in the same way. It’s not that they’re not influenced at all, but they’re not influenced in the way that I was when I was growing up. or most of the other kids that you know, they hang out with. And the only thing I can think of is that, you know, as I’ve done this deep dive, you know, spiritual journey on my own side, that that can’t help but rub off to them. Yeah, and I see little things, you know, that come up. And I think there is a way to, to provide a more loving environment, you know, for our children. And and it all starts with us, you know, loving ourselves. So I just something you said made me want to go back to that. Thank you
David Ralph [26:56]
know, I think that’s absolutely true. And I see it with my own kids. My my elder ones have gone into the court. So corporate gigs, basically one’s a teacher, one’s a lawyer, and he’s really sort of doing some great stuff. But the other two, my last two, who’s 13 and just about to turn 10. I can already see them seeing dad doing his stuff and thinking, well, he works at the back of the garden. What Why Why should I have to go to an office? Why do I have to do things and there’s an entrepreneurial spirit, I think is coming out of them already. That you can, if you find the right thing, have your cake and eat it, you can enjoy what you’re doing, and earn money. And the beauty of it all. And this is what I say to the listeners literally every day is if you enjoy it a lot more often than not, you will earn more money anyway. Because you’re doing your thing, you found your thing. And it’s as simple as that. hard to find. But it’s simple once you find it.
Leisa Peterson [27:52]
Definitely, it’s been it’s been a pretty exciting place this past year, as I’ve started, you know my business and working a lot more than I think that they were prepared for me to work. But they are definitely being affected in in positive ways by exactly what you said. It’s really beautiful.
David Ralph [28:13]
But let’s play some words now. But really, we should play to the kids every single day. This is Jim Carrey
Jim Carrey [28:19]
my father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. And our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
David Ralph [28:46]
So I like the kind of words that mommy Peterson will say to her kids.
Leisa Peterson [28:52]
Definitely. Oh my gosh, yes. In fact, they they hear it a lot. Because my daughter just she’s about to go to college. And we’ve been waiting this past couple weeks for all the colleges to you know, give the decisions. And she’d already been accepted to some really great schools. So she knew she was going to be okay. But you know, the ivy League’s, and other schools came in and rejection after rejection after rejection. And you know, about halfway through the process. I said to her, I’m like, okay, I just want to, you know, take stock of what’s going on for you. And I said, What, are you regretting that you even tried for these schools? And she said, No, I don’t regret it. You know, the answer is always No, if you don’t ask, and I feel like I needed to ask, I would have lived my life wondering. And I’m, I’m tearing up as she’s saying this, because I was kind of worried that she would come back and kind of be more like I had been I growing up and, and if you try and you fail, I think I was very, I programmed myself to be like, you’re a failure. So try to avoid the things that you’re going to fail at, and then you’ll stay safe. And here she was saying, No, it was important for me to do this. I’m okay. I’m going to be okay. It’s just isn’t, you know, I’m really sad right now. And I was like, Okay, wow, you’re awesome. I love you for being so open to that. And maybe, maybe the culture is changing, you know, I don’t know. But I know that I lived in fear of failure for a really, really big part of my life.
David Ralph [30:38]
Because that is the beauty isn’t it, when you can see the gift in the bad times, you know join up dots is really found its thing by saying, There’s no such thing as a black.it, they all merge into one. It’s what you gain from them, and you actually gain more from the black dots. And a lot of my guests, guests are now saying that in their darkest moments, I’ve got the strength of character now to go, this is a gift somewhere in here, I’m going to learn something from this, which is going to help me transition forward. I don’t know what it is at the moment. But something in here is a gift. And I think that the generations coming up, I think that they are starting to see. But I think they’re starting to see that. They can build their own economies, they can take risks, they’ve got opportunities, and you see it more and more when you read about people that are literally traveling the world with a laptop, earning money, loving their lives and doing the kind of what used to be the gap year, but actually building a business while they’re doing it. And then I got the decision at the end. Did I come back to sort of normality always that their life? Do they keep on going for it? So did you think that the dots do merge in? Do you think there are black dots and white dots? Or do you think it’s just light rich tapestry?
Leisa Peterson [31:52]
I’ve never thought of it that way. But I will say without question that the difficulties and the challenges is how we learn and had I not gone through, you know, tragedy after tragedy after tragedy, I wouldn’t be talking to you right now. And I wouldn’t be living this amazing experience that I am. So I feel grateful to the difficulties. And some of them were pretty horrendous for me to even say that I’m a little self conscious. But I’m like, that’s what it took to get me to come out of this fear of failure and fear of losing it all and fear of I mean, you name it, I think I had it. So yeah, I’m really a big fan of what you’re talking about.
David Ralph [32:40]
Well, one thing you said a little while ago was and I found it sort of amazing at the time, so are stored in my brain ready to sort of throw it back at you. But you said you now, just recently, you’ve started loving yourself? Has that been a processing for you? Because I find it hard to sort of work out why you haven’t always loved yourself. Because isn’t that the state of affairs that we all want?
Leisa Peterson [33:06]
It’s definitely what we want. But I’ll be honest with you, in meeting with people, there are very few people that love themselves unconditionally. And so it’s been a lifelong process. But I would say if anything back to what you said how childhood sort of knocks you on your bum and you you kind of scramble from there, you know, and you go, but I feel like I went backwards, you know, thinking that I was going to arrive at this time and place where who I met the top of the mountain and it’s all great. And I love myself. And it didn’t come that way at all. You know, it came from stepping into that, you know, connection of who I really am. And letting the stories all these crazy horrendous stories that I picked up along the way about who I who I thought I was supposed to be, and didn’t measure up sufficiently. I let all of that dictate. You know why I could never love myself. And you know, it’s interesting, too, because I know one of the things that kept coming up over and over again, for me, is this idea that you can’t, you know, you can’t lose yourself until you find yourself. Yeah, for that idea. Yeah. Yeah. And I it kind of pissed me off, because I’m like, What the hell is that? Like, that doesn’t make any sense, is kind of okay. Because I’m like, I had a lot of pride in the fact that I’ve never had a really big ego like that. I just never wanted to show up in this kind of enormous way. And I and I liked that part of myself. Like, I like that I love sharing the space for other people. And so it didn’t, I thought that I had to get a big ego in order to, like, be able to lose myself and then find myself or something like that. It gets totally confusing. Yeah, but but you didn’t,
David Ralph [35:09]
did you? You didn’t ever have an ego? Because when he was in the office, and you were seeing with empathy, but people were being crafty and stuff. That’s not the sign up and the ego, isn’t it? That’s a sign of true awareness. Surely.
Leisa Peterson [35:23]
Yeah. But I mean, I wanted to get ahead is, you know, just like anyone else. And so I would not it by any stretch, you know, think that I was some sort of in angelic person. I think I did what I wanted to be and
David Ralph [35:38]
you wanted to be a nun? How angelic is that?
Leisa Peterson [35:41]
Yeah, well, that was later. I’ve been doing this stuff for a long time. So I started to see that I wasn’t so angelic, how’s that? And that was the waking up to the fact that there was something much more beautiful inside of me. And it wasn’t about that competition, and getting ahead and beating everyone, for example, you know, but I thought that was what you had to do in order to love yourself and be happy. And now I see it just so completely different. It isn’t, it isn’t about that at all. Because I’ve
David Ralph [36:17]
never played the game. I’ve always played to my own rules. I was always on my own path. Even if I was doing the job that people wanted me to do. I was doing it in my own way. And so I’m always fascinated when people say, you know, they can’t love themselves, or the worst ones are when people are almost embarrassed to say, I love them myself. Because, you know, I always have, I’ve always loved myself. And I say to my kids who loves dad, and they go, yes, me and I go, who loves you more? And I go, yes, we love ourselves more. And I you can see they cringe at that bit. Because it’s almost like there’s something wrong, but I tried to get into them. That’s the way you should be you should love yourself more than anyone else, and being you on the path to actually provide value and love to everyone else. If that makes sense.
Leisa Peterson [37:06]
It does. So, you know, it’s interesting, because I think that one of the things that definitely attracted me to you is exactly what you’re talking about. And that the feeling that you have about yourself. And that’s, that’s beautiful. And I’m curious, though, I mean, do you realize that that’s not you know, that there are a lot of most people don’t understand or don’t live that way. I didn’t
David Ralph [37:29]
know they didn’t. But I have always had this switch when I’d go into a crowd or a conference room or whatever. And I would just kind of switch on this motivational site to myself. And I noticed it when I’d go into pubs, and I’d be very much like, come on what what you’re gonna do want to be great, you could do this, you know, why can’t you do that. And people would say to me, I’m just happy being myself, and I couldn’t quite grasp it. And I realized then, but the way that I operate is on a different level of I always thought there was going to be something bigger and something better. And it was always because inside I think I purely loved myself and knew that I was going to do something amazing. And my time was going to come. And I couldn’t quite understand why the people surrounding me, were kind of happy in their situation or weren’t even happiness situation. They were just kind of in this situation. And they weren’t rallying against something. So I now see it as not normal. But I still don’t understand why other people don’t feel the same way. I just can’t quite get it. Because, you know, I’m 44 years old, and I’ve always felt it. So it’s always been in me. So I think to myself, well, it has always been in me, why can’t it be new? And Julissa? Why can’t it be you? That’s what I’m saying? I’m throwing it back on you now?
Leisa Peterson [38:47]
Well, you know, I will tell you, it’s part of the reason that I am really focused on using money as a tool to help people fall in love with themselves, which sounds completely bizarre, and I’m still trying to get my head around it. But we live in a culture where there’s all these reasons why you shouldn’t love yourself, like, you know, just looking at marketing, you know, in general, it’s always telling you that if you have this thing, then it’ll be better. And then it’s something else and you know, keeps going and going and going. And then we have you know, this fascination with, you know, people having a lot of money and the Kardashian sort of lifestyle or what have you, and celebrity culture, you know, just being so enamored by these, you know, what happens when you become a celebrity, for example. But what I found is our pursuit of things like money and success, have actually caused us to diminish the way that we see ourselves. And that’s, it’s very interesting. Any thoughts about that from your side? Oh, I’ve
David Ralph [39:57]
got so many thoughts about that. Because it’s true, isn’t it? You see all these magazines, these kind of girlie magazines. And they, they have some celebrity who’s just come out of the gym. And obviously, it’s been working out and they got all bad day, but Jennifer Aniston she’s got sweat and stuff, and you look at it and go, Oh, my god, she’s letting yourself go. Because Yeah, you’re basically looking at something that is unnatural. It’s it’s perfection beyond perfection on a daily basis, because it is tailored that way. So when we’re looking at those people in the magazines, we we feel that it’s real life, don’t we? We look at these people. And we go, yeah, I put my best suit on. And I I should look like George Clooney, why don’t I look like George Clooney, because that’s a vision of George Clooney that you’re never going to get because it’s been sort of tied to someone. And I do think that’s probably one of the key essence that stops people from loving themselves. Because when they look in the mirror, they’re not seeing what they want to see. But not seeing the George Clooney and the Jennifer Aniston’s. And what I should be seeing is actually the beauty that’s in them, that’s just coming out that the unique, authentic element to them, which only they have? And unfortunately, we can’t provide those mirrors that allow them to have that, can we?
Leisa Peterson [41:15]
David Ralph [41:17]
how can we how can we do that? You know,
Leisa Peterson [41:20]
that’s a it’s a journey. I feel like it’s my life journey, but I’m learning ways of, you know, particularly back to money. It’s very, very complicated. With all the ways that sort of fingers that money infiltrates our life, do you know what I mean? everywhere. And so money is really tricky, because it’s, um, it’s so overwhelming at one hand, that a lot of people sort of tune it out or try to avoid it, right? That’s a chronic problem. People don’t always take personal responsibility that managing their money, because there’s a lot of pain associated with it. But what we can we can actually do is we can use our experiences kind of with money as a mirror, to be able to see what’s actually going on inside of ourselves.
David Ralph [42:11]
Yeah, but yeah, but people aren’t going to be able to do that if I’ve got money on someone who’s sitting in a cubicle now. We’re working for either no minimum wage, whenever they’re gonna listen to this conversation ago. It’s all right for her, you know, she’s millionaire millionaire, Lisa Peterson. Know,
Leisa Peterson [42:30]
you’re missing it, I would say that, it’s, it’s the same thing. If money’s not showing up, there’s also a lot there to, to pay attention to. And so back to living in our, you know, figuring out what it is that we’re really here to do in life versus, you know, being told or subscribing to, you know, some idea that we should just do this job, I do feel like we all have this incredible talents and gifts that are not tapped into because we take the paycheck over the passion, right? That’s what we’ve been trained to do. However, when we start paying attention to those deepest wishes, and those deepest, you know, like you were talking about childhood dreams, there are things that come out of us that do ultimately connect to money in money is funny too, because if money is really, really important to us, we can make it in lots of different ways. It isn’t just about like working hard. There’s also a lot of other things there can be dishonest, a dishonest path to bring money in, there can also also be a true path where we really touch into the things that I think you and I are trying to do in our lives, and the money coming from that. I don’t know about you. But I would say that I would rather do this job and make a lot less money, I will figure out my life if I needed to, because I’m so happy be doing what I’m doing that it changes the landscape of the kind of how much money needs to show up. However, I also know that when you really do tap into the things that you love to do, money does start to show up, it shows up in a very much. In some ways, it almost feels magical, because it’s not it no longer is coming from a place of fear. It’s being generated from a place of love. And that is substantially different than the way that we’ve been trained to earn money. Does that make sense?
David Ralph [44:33]
Yeah, it makes total sense because I was talking to a chap just before you and he was best friends with Jim Rowan, you know, the sort of motivational guy that people talk about you are the average of the five people you surround yourself with. And, and he was saying that one of the best things that you can do in your life is quite simply try to provide value to valuable people, and great things would happen. So you try, it’s a fine be having us but somebody ahead of the curve needs, provide it to them, and they will pay you back big time with connections and with rewards or whatever. That’s the way to get ahead. Do you think that’s true? Do you think that’s how people can really get ahead when instead of trying to think of how to create the brand new Facebook or whatever, they simply have to build on personal relationships?
Leisa Peterson [45:26]
Oh, very much. So. I mean, very much so about personal relationships, about doing some deep dive exploring to understand what it is that you really find interesting and compelling. And then, you know, there’s a quote, and I’m trying to remember the man’s name, but it it has been interpreted to say that we need to find, you know, where our greatest passion in life meets the area of greatest need. And that when we find that that’s where true wealth comes from.
David Ralph [45:57]
And so are you now truly wealthy? Do you think do you think on a daily basis? Are you waking up and going? Yeah, this is truly my place.
Leisa Peterson [46:06]
Definitely every single day, even when things are not going the way that I had planned, I feel that way. I’m I just feel this incredible. You know, people talk about this idea of abundance, I feel abundance on a daily basis, and it’s pretty rockin Awesome.
David Ralph [46:25]
Well, it sounds rocking. Awesome. But you must have had that moment, you know, did you leave your job? Or? Or did they make you leave? When when the corporate ladder? Because that’s going to be a pretty hard gig to leave. So did you decide to do it yourself?
Leisa Peterson [46:41]
I did. And I’m guessing that you don’t know the story of what caused me to leave my job. So I’ll give you the quick version.
Unknown Speaker [46:49]
I was leading up to it.
Leisa Peterson [46:52]
Okay, do you know what what caused me to leave my job
David Ralph [46:55]
now? Well, you you tell us you tell us? I don’t I don’t want to say it because when it moves and snowy.
Leisa Peterson [47:01]
Okay, sorry. So I was a financial advisor about a year and a half ago and had was moving up really quickly, very successful, helping people manage their money, but I was in a deep funk. And I was trying to figure out what my next move was. I’ve been testing some things that ultimately became the company that I am doing now. But I was scared, scared, scared to walk away from a successful by arriving business to to start a new business. And I was sitting in my doctor’s office in December of 2013. And I heard a man sort of say, kind of in a louder voice in a waiting doctor’s waiting room than you would normally hear, you might want to leave now. And I looked up to make eye contact with this man as he was pulling out a really large gun. And I thought he was a police officer because the way that he had said it seemed so kind and compassionate. It threw me. So I just sat in my chair thinking, What’s the deal with the gun. And then he started to move really rapidly towards the back of the office and a receptionist tried to stop him. And at first she didn’t see the gun. But when she saw the gun, she started to scream to everyone he hasn’t gotten he has a gun, everybody out alerting this really large doctor’s office. And the man proceeded to move quickly, I tried to get out of the waiting room into the third floor of a lobby. And it was mass chaos. By the time I got to the lobby, because there was another door that was dumping in and he had already started to shoot people. He was looking for his doctor, he shot his doctor, my doctor got involved, he shot at my doctor and hit a relative of a patient and then went back and shot and killed my doctor. And then at some point, and he shot and killed himself. But I don’t know when that happened. What when I was in the lobby, we were trying to figure out how to get out and people were saying take the stairs and people were getting crowding into a bathroom in the lobby. And I’m like no, I want out of the building. And at that moment, these elevator doors opened up. And I proceeded to get in with just a couple other people. And we push the button for the first floor. And we started to wait. And as soon as the door started to shut a hand would come in and stop the doors and they would open up again. And these nurses were coming from the witnessing of the shooting and running through this door. And we could see the door open from the office. And you know, people were coming and joining this elevator. And it happened over and over and over again, as best I can estimate it may have been as much as 90 seconds of this happening. And nobody pushed the button to close the doors because we started to realize that we might be saving someone’s life. But about you know, the third time in the woman on the right of me started to say prayers. And then after a while another woman started to say another prayer. And I realized that there was a very good chance the next person out of that out of that door was going to be this man with this gun. And I had a sort of out of body experience they’ll never really understand. But I kind of saw my life flash before me and realized that I might not see my children again. And I felt this seed of like, wow, you didn’t, he was like you didn’t do it yet. And I thought, well, that’s kind of strange. But I felt this, like, yeah, there’s still some work to be done in this life. And I finally the door shut. And we got to the bottom of the building and a whole bunch of these nurses, it was cold outside and they piled in my car. And we drove across the street. And we watched sort of the world unfold. And
to say that that was you know, that was definitely a lifetime teaching experience for me, especially later that day finding out that my doctor who I had developed a very close relationship had, you know, been killed. And then there was another piece where the night I went to the police station and I I ended up when I was standing in the middle of the street, they were kind of rallying people to come to the police station I was there was a picture of me next to a woman with a very large like a SWAT team machine gun. And they put that picture of me and this woman and another woman, a nurse on the cover of the of the local paper. And they also put it on the cover of the internet. And so as people were getting worried about it, they were seeing me that I had been there and the phone call started to come in. And I was in shock at this point. But that night, I was like, I don’t really want to talk about this. So I’m going to put something that I’m okay, it was me on Facebook, and then that will be the end of it. And I’ll you know, take it down off the pace Facebook page tomorrow. Well, when I woke up the next day, there were posts about me, I mean, like 50 posts, right when I woke up, and then they just continue to come in all day long about people who had come to my meditation classes and other things over the years and saying, you know, I stopped drinking because of you. And you’ve done this for me. And you’ve done this for me. And I was like literally reading your obituary, but you’re still alive is kind of what I felt like. And it was that combination of these things that made me realize that if I wasn’t even showing up the way that I thought I could in life, and these people thought that about me what would happen if I actually followed my passion, what might happen in the world as a result of me trying to be more of who I already knew I was and three days later, I bought the URL for the wealth clinic website and the rest is history.
David Ralph [52:51]
Wow, do you know I knew that story anyway. But I was hanging on every word. That is obviously a tragedy. Wouldn’t on that on anyone. But it just emphasizes again, that in life, you can’t see a failure, you can’t see a black dot there’s there’s gifts in everything isn’t there
Leisa Peterson [53:11]
definitely is it’s, you know, I felt so much compassion for these nurses and all these folks that, you know, didn’t have the past 15 years of introspective discovery that I have spent, you know, doing, I, I feel compassion for the fact that most people are working really, really hard in life, and they’re trying to get ahead and they’re trying to provide for their families. And I I have been incredibly fortunate that I have been drawn to self discovery and drawn to meditation. And, you know, even though I had PTSD, and it lasted for a period of time, I was able to do practices around forgiveness, and and really start to let this this experience go. Where I actually had compassion for this man who had done this horrible thing. And that was also a time where I was like, wait a minute, you know, I don’t think that I should be keeping this this practice to myself, because people unfortunately are witnessing horrific things all over the world. And and they often carry that burden for the rest of their life. Do you know what I mean?
David Ralph [54:24]
I know totally what you mean, that’s why I don’t watch the news anymore to be honest.
Unknown Speaker [54:28]
Hmm. Well, neither
David Ralph [54:30]
Where is your life going to go just before we send you back on in time. And so obviously, that’s where your life is going to go in a couple of moments time. But where’s your life going to go now? Is it going to be bigger and bigger? Is it going to be focused more on the sort of the one to one coaching side? How are you going to build your business?
Leisa Peterson [54:50]
I am in total surrender mode.
Each and every day things happen, you know, just even this magical moment that I do not have the capacity to even dream that big. So I really like the idea of keeping the door wide open to the possibilities and being really fair to myself and to my family so that our needs are comfortably met. But we just actually listed our house for sale today, we’re kind of liquidating everything. And we’re planning to spend the fall in Hawaii. Just for fun. And, you know, yes, I love you know, I love the private coaching. I really love the classes that I teach that are accessible to people anywhere in the world. Mostly because what happens when I create a space where people can come and talk about money and and they’ve never had the conversations before that they get to have with people that could be anywhere in the world. These are like magical conversations and and that community of just sharing and and realizing that we don’t have to stay stuck in these money stories for our whole life is pretty amazing. So I love doing that kind of thing. And bringing people together so that they can have these conversations in kind of a group setting is pretty fun, too.
David Ralph [56:18]
I love that fact. And I think that is a nugget of gold to leave the show on really that the fact that you are open to opportunities and you’re letting it flow instead of forcing it will ultimately reap rewards isn’t it is when you’re pushing, pushing pushing, you can see it after the event that you’re actually pushing more often than not against the wrong thing, the wrong closed door. And when you just kind of go with the flow somehow. And that’s why we’ve got that phrase, go with the flow or get in the zone. That’s when things start working in your favor somehow.
Leisa Peterson [56:49]
David Ralph [56:51]
Why? Well, we’re gonna send you back in time. Now you won’t have to force this, this is going to happen naturally. And we’re going to send you back in time to have a one on one with your youngest son. And if you could go back in time and speak to the younger Leisa Peterson, what age would you choose? And what advice would you give? Well, we’re going to find out in a very short moment because I’m going to play the theme tune. And when it fades, you’re up this is the Sermon on the mic
Unknown Speaker [57:20]
with the best bit of the show.
Leisa Peterson [57:34]
So I would say to literally said number one chill out girlfriend, you are way too wound up for the thought of what you’re going to have to do to make life if the way that you think it needs to fit. The other thing that I think you just don’t spend enough time understanding or realizing is just how awesome you are, are. And you will learn that over time, it probably won’t come in the way you expected to. But that you can achieve all the things that are important to you. And those things are going to change and evolve and grow. And listening to your inner voice. You know, being really, really true to what it’s telling you again and again, trusting what it tells you is going to be a lifelong journey but it’s worth every every penny you know that you extend towards that deeper aspect of yourself. So just listen more. And it’s okay to tune out the naysayers because there are a lot of them along the way and they don’t matter. So yeah, take care. Be true to yourself and ultimately know that you will come into loving yourself in a way that that words don’t even describe.
David Ralph [59:06]
Absolutely, absolutely young Leisa, and then be be honest with yourself and realize that a nun outfit is never very good is not going to be an attractive look to go for. So just turn the other cheek on that one. So, Leisa, how can our audience connect with you?
Leisa Peterson [59:23]
So the website is wealth clinic.com. And I like to tweet on Twitter. So I’m at at Leisa. Don’t even ask where that came from. But Ellie is Oh, oh, sk I and those are the big ones. Yeah.
David Ralph [59:44]
Well, we will have over links on the show notes. Leisa, thank you so much for spending time with us today. joining up those dots. And please come back again when you have more dots to join up because I do believe that by joining the dots and connecting our past is the best way to build our futures. Lisa Peterson Thank you so much.
Leisa Peterson [1:00:01]
Thank you David
David Ralph [1:00:05]
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